Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
So dark, so very dark
but I hear a voice
and I can feel a breeze
but I don't know where I am
all I know is that I'm alone surrounded by people

I can hear people calling my name
Since I lost my sight nothing is the same

I didn't just lose my vision, I lost so much more
My independence
my job
my confidence
my self-esteem
I will never get to live my childhood dream

It's hard to only see one color for the rest of time
BLACK
no color, just
BLACK
Someone very close to me
You answered just a little too fast.
It surprised me.
I haven't seen you in about a year,
And I am realizing I've missed you.
It surprised me.
The last time I saw you,
And the time before that,
You were intoxicated.
It surprised me.
I haven't seen you in about a year,
And I am realizing what you are to me.
It surprised me.
You are a dress without hems or seams.
I hardly know you but you are beautiful.
You are the bullet in the rotating cylinder of the gun to my head.
You dig through my skull and explode my amygdala.
And force me to love you.
You are the jam in the barrel as I pull the trigger.
I fell to the ground in realization:
You both killed me and saved me.
It surprised me.
Follow me on Twitter: @laniate

Tumblr: whateverdoubleloserr.tumblr.com
 Mar 2014 Fudz Lana
Days of Dawn
I can't feel the warmth inside my chest,
of a racing heart or rapid breaths
is that bad?

The walls around me are crumbling,
they're letting in all the pain
is that bad?

I can't remember what sunshine feels like,
all I know is blood and darkness
is that bad?

The demons of my past and present,
swarm me like moths to light
is that bad?

My facade of happiness and lies,
is almost see through
is that bad?

I'm one step from oblivion,
and I want to take it  
is that bad?

Please give me an answer
because I can't hold on

**anymore
419

We grow accustomed to the Dark—
When light is put away—
As when the Neighbor holds the Lamp
To witness her Goodbye—

A Moment—We uncertain step
For newness of the night—
Then—fit our Vision to the Dark—
And meet the Road—*****—

And so of larger—Darkness—
Those Evenings of the Brain—
When not a Moon disclose a sign—
Or Star—come out—within—

The Bravest—***** a little—
And sometimes hit a Tree
Directly in the Forehead—
But as they learn to see—

Either the Darkness alters—
Or something in the sight
Adjusts itself to Midnight—
And Life steps almost straight.
 Mar 2014 Fudz Lana
Tom Leveille
you are inches
measured by miles away
bulldozing oriental food
you don't intend on eating
around your plate
and i am imagining
the translation of asking
for a broom in a foreign language
for when you shatter over small talk
or the first sentence to start with "so"
breaks you into shaking
that i can feel from across the table
and i am thinking now
about tectonics and how you must be daydreaming of being submerged in a book
back home or gripping tightly
to bedsheets begging for familiar warmth
i can tell by the way you are looking at me
that you are feigning our salutation embrace
seconds drowned in ankle deep water and i wonder if you see my hands
as jackhammers and if the reason
why you hug so hard
but only for a moment
is to be as sharp as possible
so that i do not smell your perfume
or notice that you aren't wearing any and why
there are few suprises
in the safe you claim is a mouth
where shades of plush pink
hide a sickly pallor
and i continue to look over
brick & mortar borders
and think how maybe
she is thinking of kissing
but certainly not me
not these apologies nailed to my face
i give myself a moment
of benefitted doubt that you sometimes
picture your frame under mine
and if your clavicles would crack
if i were to touch them
i am sorry that i am a victim of imagination
but i swear i chalk it up
as the forgotten feeling
for when you look up
and the person you are looking
at is gazing directly at you
you have painted yourself
as a mosaic in my mind
as a mess of dust & incoherent words
that all sound like please in my ears
but that doesn't explain why
my hands are the ones that are shaking
when i imagine you
imagining me
in the spaces of yourself
where you've forgotten
you could put someone
 Mar 2014 Fudz Lana
Ashley
I feel the food go down my throat,
And I tell Finn I have to leave
“I have to edit a paper I just wrote”
That lie goes up my sleeve

I walk casually to the bathroom
Eyes blank as walls
I need to get rid of this fume!
This self-hate that just evolved

I lock the door, and approach the mirror
Staring at my nothingness
My mouth and finger become nearer
As I make myself gag in hopefulness

30 minutes later, I see my friend Finn
My hands and fingers trembling
“Are you ok?” “Where have you been?”
I say “Nowhere, just thinking”

I wake up the next morning, and it starts the next day,
The boat becomes afloat,
Delicious breakfast eaten off my tray
“I have to edit a paper I just wrote”
Next page