Drinking from the fountain as the distant shadows pour
Remnants of a feeling that has passed beyond the trees
Leaves amass in piles of an amber flavored tint
Engulfing all that I can now conform myself to see

Shaded in the mystery that wraps about your smile
Clinging to the aftermath that still has yet to flow
Reaching for the volume titled “anywhere but here”
Drunk within the answers that my heart is soon to know

In a splash the difference does wash my pleading skin
Cleansing in the daylight dance of silence on the square
Marching bands so far away yet cymbals break the sound
Tempo’d to my nightly dreams that always find you there

In of every morning as the words jump from the screen
Waiting on a sandy beach this cup of flavored grins
Beckoning my tired eyes to wake before the sight
As a new day breathes a sigh and once more does begin

~


Laughing, only to hide the tears,
now gathering in the corners of my mouth,
drowning me…(I should be so lucky)

staring at a reflection in the protective glass,
not someone I recognize at this convenience store counter,
even if it is me

When facing a fool, as I often do,
I close my eyes as to not see the sorrowed face,
yet I know…I have been warned

“Don’t reach for what you can not have…
No hands in the cookie jar,
it’ll spoil your appetite”

But I don’t listen, I hear, but…I am hungry,
she can’t mean me? Not me,
not the dancing clown that brings smiles

Watch me juggle, my heart, my love, my soul,
spotlights transition my lenses
and the stage goes dark

The minimum wage clerk is not amused,
wiping his nose with his hand,
then extending it as if requesting payment

But I have not purchased, I have only looked,
watched her walk to another, thumbing her nose in my direction
as if hitch hiking on her face

Still I reach for an empty wallet
filled with past due receipts and plastic poison,
fattening the faux leather Fossil with I.D. holder

Another swipe of the card, slowly as directed,
magnetic strip inward…

declined

A mirror is never just your reflection,
My mother once said
The mind has this devilish way of
Twisting
Things around
Making then a lot more or a lot less
That what stands before me
Suddenly
My face isn't my face anymore
Instead
I stare blankly at a blueprint
Society itself has hand-sketched
For me.
Post-it's on where things had gone wrong
Scribbles on things I needed less of
Highlighters on places I needed
Brighter brights
Thinner thins
And I just stood there
Watching
As these self-proclaimed architects
Unraveled
The plans they had for a body that wasn't theirs.
Accepting
The new rooms they had drawn next to the ones that already existed,
The ones that were always there
The ones I made a home out of,
The mole on my ear
That never seemed out of place
Until,
The impact of a critical post it told me so.
The place where my thighs met
I've always ignored,
Assuming I was normal
But the scribbles that
Begged
For less of me,
Proved otherwise.
The marks of stretched skin
I considered battle scars over a few calories at a buffet table
Nullified
By society's architects
Disapproved
As if it were up to them
Invalid
Like human came in the form of overruns
But I stare at this blueprint that suggests to change me from
Floor to floor
Head to toe
And wonder
If the one who owns the lot in which I am
Wonder
If He wanted to change me anymore than them
If He liked the original rooms
More than the ones carved to fit the trends
If He wanted me to ignore the architects
And the drafts of copies
And copies
And copies
Of different versions of me

Didn't He want me to accept the mirror for who I am?

Your ways
( tes façons )


“Shadows grow so long before my eyes”

In silhouettes of dreams past and present
Deep within my desperate heart,
as I yearn for your love, reaching for my pen,
digging through postage stamps and paperclips

“And they’re moving, across the page”

Producing odd shapes on striped paper,
outlines of shaded emotions and verses
Calling out your name in bold ink
and rhyming stanzas of affection

“Suddenly the day turns into night”

Twilight steps over the horizon
as tree top edges touch newly glowing stars
Peering through curtains of cosmic lace
and flickering candlelight with soft breezes

“Far away, from the city”

Miles counted by minutes can be
a daunting task if I hesitate, yet footsteps in the dark
follow paths illumined by your eyes,
as my need grows for your love…I just can’t wait

*“Mon bébé, J'aime tes façons”

crimson flutters down in
beads in rhythmic hymns
tangling themselves like slipknots
or messy hair on Sunday afternoons
when sunlight floods living rooms and porches and drips off shingles

it continues down a pale forearm
in patterns
neat straight lines like lines on asphalt;
uncrossable.

when the hymns cease -
silent psalms begin and bathe in cold streams.
streams turn to lakes,
still, and warm as death.

~

3:15 am…blurred red numbers tell as
I stir, reaching for what I have seen,
grasping for the moments spent in the presence of beauty
as once again you have visited me in a dream…


Pure white flowing whispered fabrics and butterfly trails
awash of waterfalls cascading and mountain top zephyrs,
rock face delights collect on horizons of hope
as softness frames your luminescent face


My eyes focus in the darkness
as your touch remains real on my skin
I am still while stars sleep in crescent moon hammocks
How can this be, I am alone, yet I was not, for I could see


You were searching for me,
barefoot on lush green vistas, daisy paths and buttercup drops
neath cotton candy clouds suspended
above echoes of love songs harmonizing with our heart beats  


Night outside my window keeps time in silent motions,
slowly sweeping breezes form rhythmic patterns
and poetry settles upon my body
as I continue to write within my now awakened mind


Destiny beckons in fruited winds
as chocolate eyes find luscious views of nature’s majesty
Your skins glows of spring blooms in petal’d bliss
and opal desires in the warmth of the day


But I had found you…you had found me…
my desperate wanderings have shown me the prize, illumined the joy
lingering in your smile…your eyes
your touch which stays with me even as I lay alone…still dreaming


Sun beamed passions follow you, caress you in
dancing shadows of flowing brown hair
breathing of morning glory skies
and shimmering dragonfly wings


At this early hour, with an apricot moon peering through the curtains
and these words which have found me
playing among my thoughts, I now realize
that my every dream is you...you are my poetry

Free as a bird ~ now




“If I leave here tomorrow”


Lonely days of glass dividers and tissue boxes
Pecking away like a chisel on some old piece of granite
Feeling the pain of each sorrowed sentence
Carving words on obsolete paper in faded scratch marks


“Would you still remember me?”


My reflection finds me a stranger of warped shapes
Names bounce off of walls and scatter to the stained floor
I have read those pieces of promised hope and lover’s sins
Said my peace in volumes straight from my heart


“For I must be traveling on now”


It seems the shadows have faded into a still breeze
Hectic lives infuse dancing dreams with left over cottage cheese
Faces are seen, hiding in plain site, hoping not to be found
Bins overflow with the un-perused and wishful thinking


“Cause there’s too many places I’ve got to see”


Beyond this horizon is calling in a faint echo
Winding paths offering more than what I have, whispering on slow winds
Forgotten, in due time, as another sun sets
And a mourning dove coos my sad farewell


“I’m as free as a bird ~


now”