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Some days, it feels never will be my forever
Especially when loneliness so fully consumes
Such longing of heart
My mind much dissevered
Still hoping that one day will come some day soon

Time isn't kind to the ones who hold on
Every day becomes harder than each one before
It's hard to find words when silence cries on
From the one I believe to be worth fighting for

To feel so alone despite those who are near
Is a hell from which there seems to be no escape
As my heart still cries out to the one I hold dear
But, my efforts seem lost, as the truth resinates

Not all who love will win through the endeavor
For the one whom their heart just can't seem to let go
When waiting forever feels like waiting for never
We begin to wonder what we've been fighting for

If the one who wants effort gives none in return
And if words go unanswered for days without end
Should I continue to fight for the one my heart burns
Or let her go, hoping my broken heart mends?

A person can say that they'll wait forever
But they shouldn't be made to if love is sincere
Am I waiting for forever?
Am I waiting for never?
I hope, one day soon, the truth will ring clear
I keep giving my all for nothing
'Til there's nothing left of my all
At least that's how it feels some days to me
I keep holding on for something
Anything to shake my core
And wake me from this never-ending scream
Yet, myself I keep my prisoner
Masochistic by design
So enslaved by hate for self
Depression's fool
I just want to find my something
Before I'm nothing of myself
I'm losing more than winning
Sad, but true

I press on through every hell
Raging fiercely in my mind
Not knowing when to hold on
Or let go
In the end, it's just as well
For I still have yet to find my peace of mind
There's just too much time on my own
If better days are on the way
May they come soon
May they stay
For it's harder to find strength
When day and night crawl ever on
I am entombed
I am enslaved
I am the lock
I am the cage
How do I free myself
Before I'm dead and gone?
An unopened coffin
Still freshly exhumed
In emotion of heart
To which we both seem doomed
Should we hope for another?
Should we hope not at all?
Such a hell is love
Such a sweet, bitter tune

But, the beauty of love can no other compare
Save for the beauty who brought my heart there
Wrought with torment and anguish
Yet, a glorious fall
And lessen my stead…
I’ll be ****** if I dare

The past is the past
Not what is to be
Mistakes we have made are forgiven, you see
The only forgiveness we need is our own
We keep damning ourselves
We should set ourselves free

We are much more than anyone shows us we are
We keep seeing ourselves as much less than we are
The cruelest deception to us is our own
In convincing ourselves we aren’t worthy by far

Hearts weren’t designed to sustain but one soul
Love’s design is in sharing…
Two halves become whole
Though we can be alone
What joy lies therein?
For my loneliness surely has taken its toll

I have said I was well
I have said I was fine
But, I’ve been in such anguish
Without you by my side
More so to know you don’t love you as I do
And if I cannot change that
Then unworthy am I

Whoever you love
Be it another or me
Should instill love for self in your heart’s every beat
What you’ve done for me
I hope I do for you
But, if not I
Then another
For worthy are thee

Although you deserve such love from another
Your love for yourself
When denied
Will still smother
No matter the love from another so given
You’ll be trading one version of hell for another

We’ve all made mistakes
We’ve been treated unfair
Under guises of love
We’ve been dealt but despair
Mistakes we have made of ourselves need forgiven
The wrongs from another aren’t our fault, but theirs

We both give more chances than any would dare
To the ones who don’t love us the way they’ve declared
It may eat us alive when their love proves untrue
But, it devours us whole when love for self isn’t there

Regardless of whoever true love comes to be
It’s our love for ourselves that will set us each free
The truest love I’ve ever know has been you
And it hurts me so knowing you’re in misery

Forgiven or ******
We ourselves must decide
To love or to be loved
The heart must coincide
You’ve forsaken your beauty
Traded in for woe’s theme
Though I love you
As your friend
You should see you as I

If your heart is your coffin
My heart still joins you there
If yourself you can’t love
I’ll join you in despair
For, my heart will not rest
Until yours lives its dream
If we both die inside
I’ll still show you I care

I’ll join you in life
Through the good and the ill
I’ll join you in death of emotion
I will
For if you cannot love you
I still love all you are
And, one day, you will love you
I know that you will

We have both died inside
More times than is due
And we lay in our coffins
Still freshly exhumed
‘Til we rise up
Undead to the beauty we are
‘Til then
I’ll die with you
‘Til I see you love you
Dreams do not deem to come true
So it seems
In reality’s timeless charade
I am stuck standing still
Despite effort and will
Amidst all of the progress not made
These failures and trials keep on stealing my smiles
I am lost
Knowing not where to turn
I’m o.k.
Just not well
And if this is not hell
Then why do I suffer and burn?

So weary, my soul
Why can I not let go of this hopelessness?
Am I but ******?
Loneliness keeps me caged
So blank are the pages
Words unspoken forsake what I am
The song is alive
Crying out from inside
Why can I not cypher the tune?
How can I set me free
From my heart’s misery
When I no longer know what to do?

I devour myself
Heart and soul
With words I have so long needed to say
They’re buried inside
Deep within this scarred hide
And they just can’t be spoken today
The time has not come
The fight’s not yet won
I’m still losing myself in the fray
When all I can do
Is to think of but you...
Are you close
Or still so far away?
Visionaries volunteering nothing but their all
Such brave and weary wanderers
Who heed the beck and call
Battling our demons
Even as they slay their own
Creating worlds of wonder
With emotions we all know

Their road is not a pretty one
They have such scars to show
But when the tell is said and done
We’ll feel their every woe
We’ll feel their every smile
On days the pain gives way to song
We’ll feel the same emotions
We’ve felt ourselves on our journey long

We’ll feel what it’s like to live and die
As we live to die another day
All stories told, and then beheld
We’ll slowly put the book away
Continuing our journey through our own emotions’ plead
For the hardest part is expression
The easiest part is to read
Because, by definition and practice, poets are writers, too, as are lyricists, novelists, and so many others who express and create with written word. This is my tribute to writers of all sorts, everywhere, for many a word bled, then read or heard (in the cases of spoken word and lyrics to any song), has had positive impact on my life and my self. None of us will ever know just how many people our words may reach, or touch in some way, and I, for one, am truly and sincerely thankful for the difference each I have had the honor to experience has made in my life. The words I have written here are extremely inadequate, but a tribute, nonetheless. Thank you, one and all.
All that we speak, we speak into existence. Speak what you've wanted the most, and not least. Don't let insecurity succeed in resistance. No longer let doubt and fear continue to feast. With all fight left within you, continue to rage against hopelessness and sorrow, for every new page is adorned with your words, and you set the stage. Will you bar your own cell, or break free from your cage? Will the battle unfold as a victory won through, or will you write your own tragedy? Speak your heart. Speak it true. What your heart wants the most can still yet come to be, if you'll hold on to your passions, and set yourself free from believing yourself so unworthy of your dream coming true, for you deserve so much more than you'd claim. Will you speak your salvation, or damnation to bloom? Would you rise from the ashes, or embrace your own doom? You've made it this far. Don't you dare throw away every scar that you've won, for they each cry their say in how far you have come, and how strong that you are. Don't give up on your dreams. They are nearer than far.
The thing about being haunted by every individual faction of one’s self from within the collective whole is that one is never all of one’s self at any given moment. The shards of who we are grace us (and sometimes disgrace us) each their own depending upon multiple factors, such as company, topic of conversation, circumstances of situation, situation of circumstance, instance of recollection and reflection, and, most emphatically, our emotional state of perception, awareness, and reasoning, whether it be in elation, sorrow, mediocrity, torment, relief, understanding, confusion, fear, bravery, or any other severity between, before, or beyond, for it is more often than not our moods which dictate and delegate who we are of ourselves in any instance of persona.
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