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Until our ties to this world release
May all of the wonders never cease
May all of the beautiful moments increase
As they have every day
Since the moment I first met you
Every tear ever shed
So unclear, or stained red
Becomes joyous instead
Whether dreaming or waking
Whether demons have fled
Or they scream in our heads
There are angels that tread
The same path we are taking
With every sunrise that drowns out the night
With every sunset that darkens our light
Through losing and winning
Through wrong and through right
I still have to catch my breath
Every time I catch a glimpse of you
I'm left speechless and amazed
With every smile and every gaze
In so many different ways
I fall more in love with you
It's so hard to pretend
I'm not in love with my best friend
When, without warning, without end
With everything you say and do
I fall so much further in
No matter how much I defend
The fact that you cannot extend
The same for me as I do you
For your heart belongs to another man
Who shares your emotions, and soon you have plans
Your moments together will soon be at hand
And I will still be your friend
Just the same as every moment
Since the moment I first met you
For, although, many moments, this tears me apart
You've awakened my hope, and mended my heart
Even though it feels broken, it still loves every part
Of every moment we share
Just the same as it has every day
Since the moment I first met you
I would not dream of losing one minute
Or missing one memory when you are in it
I'll take hell and heaven, and all that comes with it
To be able to spend another moment with my best friend
Just the same as I have every day
Since the day I first met you
Until our ties to this world release
May all of the wonders never cease
May all of the beautiful moments increase
As they have every moment of every day
Since the moment I first met you
Into the sea of fantasy doth slip my mind again
Wading through the waters where the waves still kiss the shore
With you, it's only plain to see my love will find no end
Each day, I dive much deeper than I ever dared before
The current that now carries me out past the raging tides
So swiftly drags me further than return will ever lend
So sweetly am I swallowed by this pain I feel inside
Knowing I can never reach the shore beyond your feelings' end
These stains you've left in me
Will not fade or wash away
These chains that enslave me
Will not break, despite the pain
Memories ****** every hour of every day
The man I used to be threw it all away

You are my breath
You are my death
You are what's left of me
You are my calm
You are my storm
You're my insanity
You are everything that I could ever need
You are everything I hate
You're my disease
My disease

The faith you've lost in me
This curse won't fade, it's breakin me
My broken heart still bleeds
Drowning me in apathy
Tragedy murdering the hope that still remains
Disease replacing me
Burnin in my veins

You are my breath
You are my death
You are what's left of me
You are my calm
You are my storm
You're my insanity
You are everything that I could ever need
You are everything I hate
You're my disease

You are my breath
You are my death
You are what's left of me
You are my calm
You are my storm
You're my insanity
You are everything that I could ever need
You are everything I hate
You're my disease
My disease

You're my disease

My disease

You're my disease

You're my disease
These are song lyrics, about how love is not perfect, but well worth it, if we fight for the one we love, through every moment, from the easiest of trials through the most difficult of all. I wrote this after a conversation with two former fellow band members about how sometimes we can't stop loving the ones who hurt us the most. The founding member passed away in 2009, and the band dissolved, but the lyrics remain although never made public as more than a poem.
The loneliness I feel tonight inside this crowded room
Forever leaves me with no words to say.
Lying there in silence, you've left me far too soon.
You promised me you'd never go away.
But sometimes words are spoken, and promises are broken,
Though we never really have a choice.
So much we've never been through.
So much I haven't told you.
Seeing you there, I still hear your voice.

I wake up every morning, and try to face the day,
But find it harder now that I'm alone.
So, I sit here in silence, drowning in the pain
That fills this empty house we once called home.
Each day I think about you, and try to live without you,
But find it doesn't get me very far.
Every day I cry, and sometimes wish that I
Could find a way to get to where you are.
I sit alone each night by a single candle's light,
Talking to your pictures on the wall.
Now there's only pain when I whisper your name.
A life without you is no life at all.
I wrote this in my younger days, and it has become a song in my head. It was written at the loss of my first love.
A hundred wasted lifetimes
A thousand broken dreams
Countless shouts of triumph
Rage apart at ill-stitched seams
Hands which reach for glory
Fall to dust an inch away
Towers of humanity
Crumble as they sway
Tapestries of vanities
And falsely stated niceties
Only set the mind at ease
While silently they breed disease
And thus will further weaken
Your vaguely-wrought construction
Until you're lies must deepen
Cocealing your destruction
Yet, still it flows, and no one knows
If it's lies or truth that goes
Cascading through the undertows
That drag you down between the rows
Of everything that could have been
Instead of what it's come to be
When even truths are now pretend
And trying is insanity
Yet, here we are, inside this lie
Which buries you, and still you try
To raise your tower to the sky
While even angels stop to cry
At such a shadowed, weakened soul
Crying out to be set free
Never heard, and locked inside
Your tower of humanity
Get right to the point, as you point your trembling finger
Pour it out upon me, and let the feeling linger
Let me know that everything I've ever done is wrong
Let me know you knew that I would fail you all along
And as the words fall lifeless, don't forget you tell yourself
That everything you say is justified within yourself
For this whole time that you have turned the focus upon me
You've lost sight of the tragedy that you have come to be
In everything I've ever done, I've not listened to you
That doesn't automatically make wrong these things I do
You think I am so evil, but I still hold not a grudge
For you have claimed the greater sin when you began to judge
So go on and pour you heart out, and drink it quickly down
This sinful alcoholic shot that causes you to drown
A tonic of the yesterday, a sideshow "remedy"
But only on the surface, for deep inside, you see
The bitter seeds of self-deceit have sprouted and run mad
Contaminating and corrupting all you thought you had
I think the saddest thing to see is how you justify
Everything you do by pointing fingers, telling lies
Sin and tonic only makes you drunk and falsified
You will never look the better when all you've done is lied
He sits on the shore of the River of Tears
Watching the world fail to improve
Thinking of all of the wasted years
Spent in suspension, waiting to move
Remembering ties to sanity's lies
And blood that so many times stained his hands
The smell of the screams and the taste of the cries
Unwanted rewards for filling demands
Each face of agony now an accuser
Pointing the finger of loss with a gaze
Each one a nail in the coffin of guilt
A dark silhouette in the lunatic haze
The voices inside compel him to move
Against humanity's tidal flow
Stilling the song of every heart
Placing them into the empty below
Then crying the tears of a prisoner's fears
Here in this unlocked cell of remorse
A sentence of draining and drowning in sins
As murderous silences all run their course
Nobody seeing the problems at hand
No one offering a hand of their own
Knowing that something is desperately wrong
Becoming a part of the problem unknown
And this lesser man, a rival to none
Knowing that things have gone way too far
Can muster up nothing but making the choice
Of letting these things remain as they are
For all of this pain was not his intention
And every effort a greater mistake
For ending all this would take much more life
Than the act of staying and suffering would take
It is a hell, and such a deep hell
Knowing that every day is to ****
And nothing can break the cycle of tears
Nothing can stop the blood that is spilled
So he sits on the shore of the River of Tears
Watching the world fail to improve
Thinking of all of the wasted years
Spent in suspension, waiting to move
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