your lips,
painted the finest shade of crimson
gently tighten,
preventing the truth from pouring out

your eyes,
lined the smokiest tone of gray
slowly close,
shielding the pain from exposure

your collar bones,
protruding the way you always dreamed of
shy away,
covered by endless scarves

your vertebrae,
resembling the perforations of a page
sink down,
wrapped in layers of fabric

the measures taken
to hide the mess you've become
can't manage to speak louder
than the demons in your head

Tension runs through me
because I'm holding back.
I feel it all around me,
Can you feel it too?

There are so many emotions unspoken
So many poems hidden and unread
So many things I could have told you
So many things I should have said

Tension runs through me
as I try to hold back.
I feel it all around me,
Is it running through you too?

Have you ever felt
this heavy,
heavy weight of an uncut theory-
a pile of words
with no real core-

                        with no real sense
                                  to keep you


satisfied?

I can’t let go
I can’t move ahead
All that I know
Is this feeling of dread

Of foreboding and pain
Of knowledge lost
And the ground not gained
The paths not crossed

The past is a prison
My fear the bars
I hold myself back
Oh so far

I fear my mistakes
Those I have made
I fear what it takes
To not make them again

My future unclear
My mind full of dread
All I hold dear
Burdens my head

I don’t want to lose it
To see it all go
My being, my mind
All that I know

I fear mistakes
More than death itself
The fool I will make
Of myself

Those in my future
Bred of my past
With consequences
That will forever last

Ones that will haunt me
And torture my thoughts
Twist them against me
And make my resolution naught

These are the things that hold me back
And leave me hidden
By the bars that are the past

Those bars I build
With my own mind
To avoid the roles I need to fill
In my life, in this time.

I don't have anything to say
But please don't leave
Just stay here and we can sit quietly together
That's all I want, anyway.

If you were any more
Of all of the things I'm looking for
I wouldn't believe it.

You say goodnight
And it pings at my heart
Because your presence is gone
A little bit of loneliness.

My emotions are jumbled
And I can't express my thoughts
None of the words
Understand how I feel about you

All I can say is I like you
And you're wonderful
And you're mine.