i stand  
a frail webbed cracked body
chipping,

flakes of my skin
land on the floor
covering,

i take the vacuum
and turn it on
cleaning,

company's coming over tonight

"Be careful, I bite."
I said to he who came close.
He ignored my heed.
He came closer still.
And took a hold of my hands.
"Don't worry Same here."

If only the kiss could whisper your beauty
you harbor within your cells
Maybe a dream becomes reality
And I wouldn't have to tell.

Take a deep breath.
Now let it out.
Count to ten
Count again.
Smile dont let it quiver
Start to walk, walk away.
Count to ten
Count again

He carries remnants of a broken child.
Cradles the pieces as he tries
To silence the echoing cries.
He provides love with strong tight hugs
But the pressure isn't enough.
He can't continue on nurturing himself.

I am on the bed
With my hand upon your chest
My lips on your head.

Maybe it was the poison I fed myself everyday?
"With time it will fade and become a shadow leaving 'fore the sun comes"
Maybe it was the crazy notion I mixed in my potions
"bury the past, hurry up fast, never look back"
Maybe it was me all along?
Maybe, Just maybe....

Under
    The Scope
        Like a Brown scrawny escapeless  tiny

        Bug
-__-

One look
Took my breath from my lungs and into the air
To be one of many breaths you took away from me.

One look
Melted my bones leaving me impaired,
unable to walk properly.

One look
Rushed all these memories of Pain sprinkled on top of Hope
an order I didn't want.

One look
and I knew that the only way to stop
With all the Picasso meshed feelings
is to avoid you.

I was born into this world
with no arms to hold me.
Seek and you shall find, I'm told
and yet I grow lonely.
I've spent too much of my time observing
people transforming into pillars of salt
To recognize
that all the love in the world has been bought
and emitted into the atmosphere
Where it's chemicals, the ozone it tears
exposing the fragile surface of humanity
to elements which erode the roots of it's trees.
What was this world before the purchase?

I take the bill
With the thought
"I can afford it"
My eyes search for the numbers
I close the book
I hand it to him
He insisted on paying anyway
He can't hold that against me.

I feel different.
More in-tuned to emotions
yet more in-tuned to reason.
I just can't be one without the other.

It was strange, that yellow star was sharp and yet it was still blurred.

What do you feel?

Love for me
Or are your feelings mixed up
Tossed around like you are tossing salad

What do you feel?

Are you sure? That you feel this way
Do you need time? Or do you just want to jump head first
and see if the bottom is deep or not


What do you feel?

Is it wrong to imagine the covers as your body
and feel the heat increase?
Is it wrong to wrap my arms around
and with my lips begin to  tease?
Is it wrong to let my hand travel up "your shirt"
and feel the inner peace?
If it is then let me be wrong
before I fall asleep.

I am lost in words that were never said
They keep me warm as I lie on my bed.
I am lost in arms that are not there
But I must not look For I cannot bare
Him not being there.
I am lost in eyes that I've miss read.
Their waves rock me to sleep in my head.
I am lost in his voice but it's just empty air
To make a sound I must not dare
For it provides the proof that he is not there.

What is it that we are doing?
The TV murmurs in the background.
Breaths are shallow.
Nothing makes sense anymore.

Not Seen, Not heard
Rather not see him nor hear
as he drowns and chokes on his tears
Chose not to speak, No, won't say a word

In the clutches of death
With his white bony fingers rattling
As he grabs a hold of the boy

Death is now the parent
Not the other one
Who chose not to pay any mind

He wanted to plant a tree for our anniversary
an oak tree.
I thought it ludicrous being the first year
but his heart was dead set on forever while mine was still unsure ten years ago.

He holds me with love
I hold him with love
The exhaustion takes over
Now we need to sleep.
Or
Maybe have more fun?

And we can not stop coming in like a wrecking ball
So clear all the tables from your wide mess hall.
we bout to damage up, We bout to trash it up
We bout to rip all of your paper love.

It's time to begin but with the beast inside
We tend to stop and think, then we let it fly
And no matter if you cry
All our "pretty faces"at some point have to die.

And let your arms catch me before I fall.
Let your name drip from my lips.
Let me become just another one who doesn't need you.
and let me fall and fall again.

Dear Time,  

A moment ago
I envied your words you spoke
For your words were more valued then mine.
You had a way of communicating
Pressing slightly until you persuaded
For departure while I
I, waved a final goodbye.
But what is final anymore?
The end is no longer the end
if the heart continues to beat in the afterlife.
I envied your words you spoke
A moment ago
For you were closer
than I
could ever be...

Depending where he goes
He might feel empty with no love to quench his thirst
Or he Might feel as if his heart is swollen and will burst.

He walks along the street drenched with the tears of the World
The howls push against his face and feels the love, more like the lack of.

He walks along the street filled with the syrup of the morning dew
and Warmed by the ray's of the Sun above
He feels no lack of love.

And the hand of Death soothed your pain.
Death rested his handed, reassured you that it would be easy to go to the next life.

I saw you walking down the street
Hand in hand with him
tried to make me believe
he was just a friend

but I saw the flame in your eyes
That licking flame of your lies.

let me get a pail of water
And throw it in the air
And no it ain't a bother
And frankly I don't care
It's time to put you out
And I'm show you how
Your lies caught you on fire

I left my heart out on the line,
To dry after my tears
washed away the pain.

Hurry up Heart.
Dry so I can fold you
and place you neatly back in my chest.
And then take you out.
So you can be worn again
on my sleeves.

I hold your hand but did you know we don't really touch
It's just the force of my hand and yours deflecting.

OH LOVE

It is the force that makes you feel Alive
Even when You felt dead

It is the force that feeds your heart
Even when It hungered before

OH LOVE

It is the fluttering of the heart
The aching of the stomach when Worried

It is the fire that burns
It is the tears that are shed

OH LOVE

Is something that Can happen
Is something that takes time

Is something That needs work
Is something that never dies
Even when the people go separate ways  

OH LOVE

And then the pieces
of the heart drained through the cracks
Forever Broken.

And then the trees were crying as the winds tried to wipe the tears.
They swayed back and forth until the Earth held them.
We collected them, played with the tears of the Trees

When you can't stop thinking of them
When you wake up and the first thing on your mind is them.
When you remember all the ******* they put you through but still smile.
When you look up to the clouds and you swear you can spell out their name if you shift some clouds here and there.
When Alicia Keys "No one" is playing in your head.
When you forgive them before they even tell you what they did.
When you see something and you know they would like to have whatever you saw or do whatever you saw.
when you know that at that moment and possibly forever they are the only ones who can make you feel loved.

In the morning there was a word
The word morphed to a phrase
The phrase to a sentence
A sentence to a message.

He wrote it down.

If you love all your children
then why are we suffering from our brothers and sisters?

Life forever, life together
Other is significant
Very beautiful on the inside
Every time feels like the first time

And then everything became clear with one exception
My eyes were still closed for the fear was great, the fear that I may lose everything.

Stop.
Don't.
Tell.
Me.

Stop.
Don't.
Say.
It.

No.
                     I. Don't. Want. It.
                        Don't. Need. It.
Shh.
Stay. Quiet.

And then just like that
signed my name on the farewell card
I wonder who's next.

But then when I saw your face
I had to look away.
And I felt your eyes gazing me over
taking in every detail that I was offering
I still want you.
so please stop staring.

You look to the sky with the notion (An irrational notion) the moon will shed some light where the sun would not.
The neighbors are there speaking in whispers though their distance from you protects their ill words.
But there is no moon.
It has deserted you.
Why are you surprised?

And then I brushed the dust off my knees.
The dust protested surrounding me but then they were arrested and taken by the wind.
I looked to the sky with a determine gaze
and the sky revealed the sun.
It was going to be okay
no matter how many times I can to brush the dust off my knees.

Because I was drawn to you I broke another heart
Regret I have now because I lost a friendship
Everything I tried failed, I still dreamed of you even when I was with him
All the nights it was you holding me, you caressing me, you loving me in my dreams
Knew I had to break up with him because I couldn't pretend i was interested when my thoughts were
                                                                                                                                                                 On you

Breaking his heart I could hear the shatter, hear the groans
Reaching for forgiveness but none was ever gave
Everything went wrong ,you came up to me
And Asked what happened. But I couldn't tell you that It was for you I had to break up with him
Knowing that you were already with another one, I kept quiet about it

I loved a poem before it was written onto paper.
I held it close for days.
Whispered my love as I caressed it's words lengthy and smooth
But to love something you must let it go.
I let my poem go.

IF there was a day when you need a hand
I will be there to lend you mine

If there was a day you need a hug
I will be there to wrap my arms around you

If there was a day when you needed an someone to listen
I will be there my ears opened for your words

If there was a day you felt lonely
I will be there beside you

If there was a day you grew afraid
I will be there to face your fear with you

If there was a day when you thought your life was meaningless and You should throw it all away
I will be there to tell you that you have meaning and prevent you

And  if there was a day when you said you will never be with me and just want to be friends
I will be there, fulfilling all my promises that I made

I can't cry
Not because I don't care
but because I would know
That everything was real

STOP! STOP HURTING ME
But they don’t listen and keep pushing
STOP! STOP HATING ME
But they don’t listen and keep going
STOP! JUST STOP
They don’t listen and snicker
STOP! I Can’t take anymore
They don’t listen and continue anyway

STOP! DON’T DO IT
But I don’t listen and look down
STOP! STOP AND LISTEN TO US!
Why listen when they tuned my pleas out
STOP! THINK FOR A MINUTE!

NO! YOU STOP AND THINK FOR A MINUTE
THINK ABOUT ALL YOU HAVE SAID
THINK ABOUT ALL YOU HAVE DONE
ALL THE WORDS THAT BURNED AND LEFT MARKS
ALL THOSE WORDS THAT COILED AROUND ME LIKE SNAKES

Think about all the wrong you done to me
You painted with black and red on a canvas that needed mending
You threw a pitch to a batter who had a broken bat

STOP! WE DIDN'T MEAN IT
But I already took a step and began to fall

Ashes falter ride a breeze
waver some collectively.

Now I am waiting for that moment
When they find you dead.
"******* Great. Just ******* great"
-_-

And then you walked in.
Every step you took froze time.
But froze not my heart.