Hear my chants , feel their sincerity
Remove these negative things keeping me
A part of my mistakes and short comings
Can you reverse this downward karma for me
Otherwise let them punish i for my worth
Or lack there of, i know i deserve happiness
When i only want to see it on everyones face
Krishna dancing till i can see the light again
Remove all of the want and wonton desire
Replace it with love let me breathe in peace
And be one with the wind again

Gently brushing hair behind your ear
Before kissing it , loudly,  just  for you.

We only got a little time today
At least we always have the sunsets

Soulless and selfish
Prove me otherwise

1
The amount in which deadly sins enter the blood stream. Waiting here as a glimpse of sunbeams dance over my bed and sigh the heaven sent.  Time. Whether or not there is a lot of it or I'm just fooling myself into it existing, it was there before. Hidden in a 12 by 24 box filled of hope and gone tomorrow's.  ******* in this fissure free of fiends and friends of the likes. Sorrow hidden in distant smiles.   Some tempest has taken me places, racked up miles on the car and replaced the tires.  And for what ? Everything. Love, adventure, camping smells , the sound of my tent unzipping to let the smoke out.  Wilderness - my favorite past time.  I feel I only stay in these boxes to rack up the gas money.  No wait.... That is all I do. With some food and money for the boxes themselves, and the water in between.  

2
Following the eventual departure from my box number one , to two and half , then  two out the door and down the stairs,slipping  on ice, balance, virtue, already is my day planned to feel something at the end of it.  There lies my sadness, in the expectation.  So sometimes when I wake up else where like box number Three , I do not expect anything. Usually run into somebody , or see them passing about their own life. And that is the beauty of the world to me.  Not expecting anything.  Hidden in your own thoughts of what everything is, before you go blind.  Morbid little ****.

3
"Except you dont love yourself" correction , why love anyone else? To tempt the hurting ? To feel the burns, things whispered in your ear, nails down your back.  No thank you.  Fade into the next days successfully, hating the anger , loving the silence. So why, girl who calls herself Mother Nature , did you impede in my technological romance , to get me unhooked from the faces stored in this memory book.  **** the collectors, and the blood suckers.  **** the night terrors of killing so many other evil men that you accidentally think I am holy   I am a tool of mans destruction
Doomed to never create beauty
Alive in a time of total war
I am living under eyes
The plot has thickened
I would rather wash the blood
Than let it stain me like this
What does it mean when I bleed
The same color that sprays
Hot metal twisting tearing flesh
Out of holes in my enemies?
They have me killing for progress
become holy.   **** the delusions.  *******.    

4
Death
The mortal
Coil , veil
Deceit
The only Release.
Salvation
A key.
Demise
Cunder

4.5
Clench myself awake
Decide if it was a dream

5
Decisions decisions decisions
My best friend reminded me
That every time I see her
I tell her how much I want to
Be in a band of trees. Screaming.
And last night was the first night
In which I could complain to her
About being where I want to be.

6
My friends
How they make me laugh
We drink
And never regret a thing
Oh the world
The ways it makes things seem
Sick of acting
But I'm not done with the big screen
Fill in the gaps
Sound of visual dramatic cadence
The way it will be
The many things I can reach
When all I want is one more chance
A corona, you forever , and a beach.

7
I try and muster thought
Its black and blue and it's where
The things that I forgot
And how to do them are
I stand here and there they are
Out of reach , but I still feel them.



"Tell me why? Tell me why is it hard to make arrangements
with yourself?" - Neil Young

Beyond Time
In our dreams?

On New Years I met a young lady
Who lives  far away in New York City
The place I will live, not yet tho
When it is one day then and until then
Sometimes we call each other
After I am done thinking about all the things
I would rather not write her about
And we talk all day, about the city
Or ourselves, or nothing at all
Its great, sometimes we send pictures
And they make us both smile
Sometimes I suggest things to her
And she has already done them  and that
Is the biggest delay, is that when
I am experiencing half way, shes there
Experiencing the end of the day
Different hours, and its totally fine
Because Im used to living in the past
And she loves living in New York City

Heading home yet again..,
To my third floor view
Hidden here amongst solitude
The empty rapture of company
Kept in paper, vinyl and cacophony
I hear a knock--On the door, my door
Shortly after I came through it
The sound: it hummed of fickle fate
I left ringing in my confidence
For no body I still know , knows where I live
And if they do they dont remember where it is
To get lost  in the rivers of life's endless meanders
Asking for patience in all I do find there
Some give me love and years pass with them
Some pass away and I remember them in color
This one stayed, in black and white
But she took her shoes off
The ghost of my lover I prayed for endlessly
But had forgotten i did, yet how could I?
This kiss so warm it woke me up
And all of her everything was gone in the morning
And now asking myself, did it have to be me?
That you pulled away in the dead winters night

Times of the day that dont mean anything
cloudy a nostalgia gone too far into tears


Fog rolled into your valley tonight
I was here young like you are now


To the edge of the canyons mouth spit out
All it was is a collapsing weather pattern


I drink water only to quench my thirst for instance
litterally eat only clouds for dinner and breakfast


Who was never mine , and never ever will be
Beyond all means sent aside yourself Darling


Behind fate and whatever the universe wants
Freedom just the unknown precipice hidden

Beatrixe Fox

The soundtrack to my life
Quite visibly a sign to sell out
Lifes fickle romances dont mean anything now
Compared to the memories you hold of the things
Found alone - on a ponder me away drive around
Force out all sound of songs stuck in my head
Utterly ridiculous in this fuel canister
Blown out speakers of my teenage years passed
And for what? No new system no used truck
At least the ice is beginning to thaw too soon , smile

Fixing Hidden time
Can't bring it up
Without ruining the night
Beyond this sign
That im going to take
As an omen because im that kind of guy

Bend with eyes
Be like the light baby
Youre just that type
Hand in mine
Whether you feel me or not
I am your phantom of light

Handle your wine
Dont let it change you
I guess I am done  changing my mind

Handle of wine
My tongue is guilty
But my hands are tied

Friend of mine
Thats all  that I can call you
When my tongue is tied

Beyond the better half
And we will play for the sunsets
Knowing The day will rise as fact

at dawn theres witchcraft to Plagerise
Whether you wish that still
Or not you wished way back Then that

I am your phantom,
Sent inside the serpent
Hammered and random

I am a child of light
Whether or not you remember
My tongue is guilty
And my hands are tied

Better half of tomorrow
Better be spent driving
My car wont know rest till
I sleep in these lands
Of brushes and bands of trees
I feel like the end of the light
Where the shadows bleed  


Hey friend of mine
My tongue is guilty
But my hands are tied

Hey Sister with the sermon
I would not let you forgive me
Because my tongue was tied

Hey friend of mine
My hands are guilty
And my tongue is fried

Hand in mine
I open eyes to all of this
Benign torment and porcelain
War trends

a bit better than the rest
how i missed you then,
and how bad i did felt.

the day you became a cavity
way deep in the back of my
lonely and deprived youth

i didn't know anything of what
smitten i felt was just taken away
forever, far away

except the sleep lost,
and the time travel wished for
or the releasing of my song bird
to flutter back or move closer.

you moved away,
did you know you would be
filling my cavities today?

closer
were both a fifth of our way
through our perfect lives
and me? at least I'm not lonely

happiness
i don't even know what this is
how everyone before you felt
so cold, i just wish that i could be

closer than
and i know through time,
that will be attained
how fast we've become ,

closer than that
yet so long. a fifth of our lives already.
babe were at the half life of being in each other lives
how perfect you fit. how perfect you create.

closer than that is
to no destruction. kali sheeva not so present
my eyes and acid peripheries , not so dilated
you are skin particles away, me inside, not so lonely

our sun rises,
luckiest guy smiles, as the drums come in
and the camera pulls out of a window,
drawing fourth away past the clouds

the sun sets,
to come , as the sun diminishes into a star
far away where we are traveling stuck in space
drifting away, at least were not lonely

*
you feel better , than that is
even after you are gone to work
I'm still laying here, on earth
a foot above the ground
where we were meant to meet