Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Jan 2014 · 1.5k
Motto: No Bullshit
And yet it was better than ever.
well, so there is the mystery solved
the case of : who would be there to be there
and                                  yet
I had dejavu, of joking with you about
making pizza, while we were making love
simply the truth tho, make me more than happy
end this skin and bone, lets both get some meat
and ask up front, end it at the right time
real to the tenants , unluckily bellow us
uncertainty, this  trust on a whim
no matter how far you live
trust on the fact of this
at first sight
no

>
*******
ahhh New York
Jan 2014 · 1.6k
Unforgivable In 51 States
I guess you really can not forgive me
in this beautiful country of yours
for I hold you so dearly, under those
Canadian stars, sure we may dream
miraculous things, but weight on
these feathers and waning wings
serpentine jealousy, babe, not envy
please, leave, me, be, innocent, of
steam, send onto me Jesus Christ
Girl, i need someone to clarify biblically
did the catholic we knifed, deserve
to call me a worthless being, or will i find him
in prison like everyone finds him I'm just
happy its 20 14, when Tupac  is to be reborn
Judge his reasonings were, my Mother didn't raise me
Catholic, her mother did want her Mothers
Mother , to have not wanted to raise her
Daughter, catholic, in the snow, with a tune
for you, waiting at the St, Stephen Torro Cemetery
Holden , your best friends broken rosary/broken nose
Pope Francis, we came to opposite levels of holy,
Heaven or Hell only knows, over standing does not exist
Mathew 6 Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

2 “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
We didn't love each other, we were just giving to the needy, your eyes tell me something other
than your words do , and hey so does your tongue, when will i find that kiss again no I'm done, that same sent of sorrow , as me we shared the same face and car , for however long  you want to call it babe, ill never be yours ever if you wanted i don't know but that doesn't make any sense, to me or to anyone one else, the ones who saw the beautiful moment, between us, wether or not we were drunk, or alone, they still knew, before and after the punch line, and i know youre the only one still  laughing

oh do do do , what a fool are you, to love a fool like me like you do too, if only she knew, that i can't
love you like i do love her oh do do do what a fool are you to love the ******* fool that i have turned into, after i stopped loving you, so long ago, when you could have known, before her, how to own a car, with someone like me who's addicted to going far but in a loop
before we ever knew, the feeling of
repeat
every one of us has got a little bit of selfish inside
say it all how you felt it for the very first time
but don't you ever feel pressed to say anything?

breaking tide with every way ward step on this
thing we call the depths of, atlantic tides, i need
to skate, hit some guys on the other side of the rink

you should be careful of what you wish for

every one of us has got a little bit of evil inside
embrace it if you don't, it will control your life
I'm on this continent of broken lies, and I'm lying

down in, what I wish for is to be able to be happy being
alone,  I'm done wishing for another person I am my own
ill wish something for you, what do you want carefully?

holding back a laugh , smiling in my own mirrors cleverly
Dec 2013 · 314
Just dance for me
You say in my selfish suicidal wake,
you were saying how amazing I was
when you never danced for me
or called me to say you wanted to see me
or really ever called me back for that matter
no just when I was ready to slit my wrists
you stopped me by saying lies clearly
so now I'm alive and I have no idea why
I did it for you.  you never danced for me
necromance me for I am just as dead
trying this life thing out , for another year
Dec 2013 · 1.5k
Privately sinning in public
Remember when you were a kid, Tiger?
days when I bit tighter, yet a lot lighter
jammed to the angels, on all nighters
yet we would never see anything ? then

Be on all four corners at once she said
hanging up on me -turning onto sixth
as if my head didn't know which way
was up , in the first place, call from an

unknown number asking for Marcus
Peoterroro ,yelling I say you ***** *****
calling me every **** night, right at the
click dial tone I'm still screaming more

shake down silhouette in a silkink stop
the car barely missing the sellout love of
my night life, like you barely missing  me
"i didn't even have to circle the block babe"
"i didn't even put on my better nightshade"

perfect plethora of a serpentine in her ******
hell to hand baskets in a switchblade seance
speaking directly to the man who killed my
fiance, and then dropped the dagger on my

doormat     cheer up you ******* doormat
i feel as if she slapped me, mourning nothing
but the format of the masterpiece, ****** her
in the back, at least, felt no hair nor thigh

nor  sympathy or wasted time, nor gluttony
raging sun of the twin, and moon of the son
of killing me slowly like nails on chalkboard
it running down our spine sinning jealously

doomed to be a rot, mother ******* sell out piece
while they sell their selves for ***, i do it for press
release me in my sad abortion of what i can't believe
counting down the days until my day job comes and
rescues me from  my celibate leave    , maybe
Dec 2013 · 379
Old song bird
old terra this earth
send me sleep in a
world of theopolius
hold me memory a
sing me to sleep or
send me a mocking
wings like a terror
sand on the blackened
thicket of thicket and
stumble across chords
deeper than deeper
than it goes, on and on
stumbling a tumbler
Dec 2013 · 1.3k
Fuck Holden Caulfield
she asked if i knew what i wanted when i was 18
of course i ******* knew what i wanted back then
that is when i first fell in love with a soul sucker
and my life whent completely off course.  what i wanted
****** me over, and now i don't know if i should give in
since then i sold my soul to the devil, just to give in
to get what ever i want, and still i don't really *******
think i need what i really ******* think i want
**** what i want. i want what i need

i need the old ****, the **** that got me so high
that i didn't need to sleep for days, or i could sleep
and it wouldn't matter because you were watching
and i could ******* sleep as deep as i wanted to
and know that when i come up for air, you would be there
waiting to know that i fell asleep and made it alright
and that high became life, i stayed high off you so much
so that it doesn't really scare me that i talk to you at night
in my writing, or when I'm singing, or when i do *******
anything you stupid *****, what the **** did you slip in my drink????
im poisoned after the fact and i can't get you out of my blood
the way i see it, is not the same way my therapist sees it
so i keep going to him, just kidding i never see him, he hates me
or maybe he doesn't, either way he never tells me how he feels,
he just asks me questions and lets me sit in my feelings for seconds
**** that i sit in them all day, i don't need to pay to find the pain
i just ******* really  need to stop sleeping or find a way to fall asleep
either of the two because i only live when I'm dreaming now,
its not the drugs, no i mean real ******* full blown dreams
like god ****** how it was back before we ******, and i told
your lover that i only enjoyed dreaming and not waking life
just because i could be with you, and yet he didn't take my warning
**** no! no one ever takes my warning, they are all too busy listening
to their own ******* ***** and hearts and blood pumping rust and
their own ******* thoughts and feelings, and it never ever occurs or
comes back to me in the end, always to them, so **** them, wait also
im gonna stop thinking about you in the end, because ******* too
youre not special enough to deserve two separate entities of people
waking up everyday thinking about how selfish, or pretty you are
or whatever else i do think about you, more like wonder because youre fake
imagination or maybe you are still alive and still exist and i didn't make you up
to hurt myself , maybe i only think about me now, i don't know yet
great . i just ******* think about how possessed i am that i have nothing
nice to say about you, good thing i say nothing at all to you, and i just spend
all this time, painting you into pictures, even tho I'm using my own blood
i say that now but until i
blow my brains out onto venetian blinds, just for the splatter effect
                       and because i hate them enough to waste my life on them
                                             whatever will i do , but waste my life on you
Body:
      Pinups and post adolescent boys screaming turbulence
strung out in my room, days for ever growing more jaded
what ever that means, surely these things, will rip my heart out
get back to my head, share anything, better make my head feel still

     Reading in  the blue light that is a broken hearted city passing by
  without it all , skylines for side views, heading south, away from it
when will it all mean surely nothing, will it rip my head out
get back to my bed, share anything, better make  my bed feel here


     Thankful for all the things i get wrong that i still feel in the day
  you out there, somewhere doing good , filling the world with so much hope
where age means nothing, and you can marry me, and stay the same- beautiful
money where it does not mean a thing, money make the world turn , anything

    
      Closure seeking itself in the open flatlands of an opaque remembering scheme
  this is him in his prime, waiting for me with the open hands of a martyr stinging
when will  you separate the screams from the hit on key singing of angels of sorts
foxes in the court room dancing during the sweeping, over papers left behind foxes
I just want to see you, Baby, standing right outside my door
All I want is you for my own, more than you could ever know
All the dreams I would be fine with letting go, and never seeing through
When I say to anyone else all I want is you, I'm lying a white christmas
Another one, far away , from you
Dec 2013 · 1.0k
There tHere
slowly getting naked week by week to the 80s
book of mormon distance of irony apart from you
french texts in between, growing with this something

but then there it  is yet again, that silence fuss and distance
yet we are on the west side, rocks and the ship wreck among them
sipping clementine breeze through iv simple, should be eating but I just am
used to have energy for two, strangled by the telephone chords all bogged down and
i don't know why i , feel so tongue tied , i don't know why i feel so hidden deep down inside
mon raisonnement pratique est que si vous restez plus de soixante neuf fois avec baise nous pouvons avoir des relations sexuelles et de ne pas être sui va si vite
Diagonal insertion of myself into this room we call the present moment
its never gonna go to collections baby, obviously checked it in for a week
we found static in the interruption caused by your radio towers and traps
and what you say, is not true- i see whose driving the hearse, shotgun
appeal to the old me. satisfy my hungering for those other things please

and tho i told you not to bother to call her, you did and just to say you did
don't blame you because you are a good time, perforated into tiny fragments
its not legal but this pedestal fits me like a glove, too much for the initiation
but our doubts, are all left in yesterday. how i follow you home after ever show
come help me hack off the vines and roots after every night of this spilling myself

skips on the record, please don't forget me, i won't forget you, how could i
youre just a missed cherry ash falling on my leg, burning me holes through
saying what you want to say, sorry that i don't reply, see me in the morning
shuddering on my favorite words, while screaming death to the secretion !
first we go spinning out                  then go smashing painted stained glass !
there she goes
comparing me
to other men
or other boys
i do not want
i only need
to be alone
with me or
you or both
my new
rose

respect the thorn
worshiped the bud
be uncomposed
triplely undertow
dribbling on me
see us bleed
red and in
the water
steam
end
its
me

the wake we are in
of some thing we
dispose but family
is family certainty
sighs, simply
set up alone
living your
lives upon
still living
your lies
still life
portrait
is you
babe

wake up -to me
dreaming
wake up
this is
me
Dec 2013 · 430
Alone, on a beach
i could write about how you fooled me
into thinking, you were a poet of sorts not in words

you could feel upon my lap for the gun
since I'm driving, just to make our pursuers swerve

we could stop- practice our aim or drive on
still towards the setting sun, see Cali by sun up on a beach
hey be on the automobile , more ready than i am to bust this place up
and set goes to the flames tyrannous soaring tape real effects sunburst
seance in carbon manifest this back from the heavens and **** up
beyond my better half, be on my bed for half, the night beyond
better hash, better sheets, better open your feelings, better love
better ****, better up and away,
                                                         bet all in or double down teasing
me play me open handed up and halve me open hand feelings and saying
feelings open feelings open everything you keeping inside feeling till you are
feelings open feedings on me from the inside all i told you i that i really really shouldn't have
want and want and wanton love for wanting more of want and love me for it
till i become a ghost, better feelings, beyond this feeling you have for me
become a ghost, till youre better feeling better beyond belief feeding me
information of your better halves and feel this heat on my arm, I've wanted
this for such a long time such a novice of getting whatever the **** i want
so why wake in doubt, run away in flame far out, faking nothing but the front
3 2 1 we came for the ruckus, put away your cleavage and give me all your moneys
and
I won't mind that she was a hypocrite and isn't around anymore
if you don't mind me talking about her every once and a while
i  try not to but for some reason she messed me up so ungratefully
in you i won't shake so much i won't be so nervous just kidding
instantly i can't believe that i am able to shake out words so easily
i mean finally. i guess I've known you for a year.  this winter tho
is just me getting whoever i have wanted forever and now i am just
in awe that tonight i kissed you i want to keep you, keeping me warm
i won't try or anything , just how this goes and keep talking
in contractions
Body in trances subsequently seen in through my own eyes
any other orifice would let in more reasoning settling pain
learning by ear and by feeling the way my own body settles
being the rhythm danced by rain while we shouldn't celebrate
hear is the way my fingers tap in a rhythm from my old brain
weights being lifted off of my stone, from mud washing it clean
wait is that me still thinking in the darkness, or is it myself
either way i am content being the concubine to this Darkness
the way it lets me know , being alone isn't that alone, she is
everywhere. Oh Moriah. how i pray for you every night
that you decide fair judgement for the depths of my own soul
take on this journey embarked with truth held onto you till my grave.

Black
Moriah take me onto and off of oh onto things that i feel in the back
of my coffin, the one another i am stuck in, feeling the worms often
dense and digging we out of this hidden cerebellum under the dirt
stuck till the thawing of hell and then, my cold blood will be able to
live in that heaven, of what i was doing above except on repeat
youre death is just what you make it
Black
est Moriah take no time to learn of my folly and fate
love inside you, my most favorite angel of Death you
wait for no one, my most heavenly pariah of Serpentine
fate for no man, no man most decide it just stumble blindly

Into the gates of hell, if they are still warm and didn't lay long
i laid on the shores of the Acheron, long enough to loose vision
blindly making friends of passerby's, blindly making decisions
Dec 2013 · 423
June. 12. 2012
hopelessly hung up on all of this
the ridiculousness of you being bliss
hope its not something ill always miss
been setting myself aside for failures
but at least i have a beautiful departure
but id rather just stay trapped in the past
capture it, than have you hang me up
to just leave me till I'm dry, colorless
just waiting of the feeling of flight again
kiss me now if you want me to stay
looks to me that i should float away

gone and spent my last dime
on a phone call you didn't catch in time
what are pay phones used for anymore
for calling you names after you slam their door

i know you know I'm a ****
but i hope you know ill work
on it just to get another night
will the feelings you put inside

superficial glides
Dec 2013 · 436
November. 3. 2013
i met you on the worst day
not for me or you, but for the world
that was the day the most single
stunning and burnt bright stars
were taken off the market
one swoop of our eyes meeting
flush as the one you love
you are what you eat

i meet the weirdest people
sleep with the strangest women
if only i had a letter to write
to myself , in the past

i would say
I'm gonna love her
till my legs, give out


here i am floating in the retroscope
loving my friends for their all a bouts
missing you missing me missing you
missing me
Dec 2013 · 444
November. 6. 2013
what if the stars
were all tears
from the gods

blue collar man
shred his dollars
never shed tears
Dec 2013 · 405
June 27, 2013
no weight
no never waitless huh?
youre always in my spine

faint,
but i still can see the light
but they are blurring it
still haven't found the time

to will its way
almost half past midnight
im not the same
a new day new sunshine
to make me blind on my time

fate
but not the one you find
the one that finds you
and punches you in the face

faint
bloods not your favorite smell
make all I've argued come true
and hand over lies now
you said it would never be like this again

you said it would never be like this again
Dec 2013 · 374
June 9th 2009
six dead
spider
in the watering bowl
drowned before they could
lay eggs in my skull

lay awake
in my bed
thoughts
of the eggs
inside my head
bedside swatters
a lozenge
and glass
i fear tonight
will be my last
9909
Dec 2013 · 614
June 15th, 2012
Bent twigs in front of me
making thought like this is the place
i think things through, at least
a minute too longs, better than a moment
too soon
gracefully making my ways- it shows through
graceful or not I'm coming- home
doesn't mean I'm on the top of my game
it just means I'm an ant winning
on the hunt gives it new meaning
                     for you
I'm just not one to see things through


been a bird and been a place
never been happier than i was
that day
when i thought we could just...stay
but now we try
nothin- way too far
past the end
------------------
and I'm done
feeling wrong
in a world where there
is no wrong or right
I lived with me
and I lived alone
I went too far
but not too long
in case I see
what I want to see
I had my eyes replaced
with cameras from a cellphone

I have learned when to
learn when to fight
----------------
im not one without a third eye
still don't mean i got second sight
----------------
chorus
----------------
solo
got no hands sept the ones on my legs
so ill run till the end of my dying days
im gross for you and youre  too clean for me
but the memory of you

sure i think of you
no matter how much i try not
you , a persistent pain
a stubborn house guest
from the grave.
is it you haunting i
or is it i  haunting myself
with you, the ever growing barage

of unanswered questions
and of
shuddering at the words
you spoke into my soul.
------
I was found lying down in a warm pool of my own thought erasing time and the way i feel, erasing memory in itself.
im not living because id be living in hell.
im not breathing, the airs filled with you.
just as well, just as well
im not leaving , till i get my fill
get my fill get my head clear
let go of the refrain
not gonna let it take over this brain
head clear, new head , clear
but only for a sec, i came falling back
to earth and that thing thats always right
I'm living lies, but not living in a lie
I'm learning despite losing my mind

am i still quick to conclude, I am not good for you?
Risk quick to project, I'm more to defend
youre quick to respect that
i ******* hate you

im closing my gates to you
park is full
but everyone else is welcome
leaving your mark
its a scar and its quickly healing
this scar will not impress
it will only express
or just depress
and give pain afterwards
it deals with it
///////////
i got lost in  your deepness
but i remembered how to swim
thats how i got to my island
i couldn't get my fill get my fill
or keep it real enough to fill
get my head clear
let go of the pst
of the past
hey
buddy its not coming back
can't twist the hurt you dealt
just because of the way i react
you can't take nothing back
nothing back, I'm taking everything
get real with your head
feels, lemon pledge the spots
the ones you can't till youre clean
when I'm green and I've seen nothing to keep
this is me keeping me from jumping.
the love thing isn't for me its for you'n every other sucker in the world
I'm done getting my fill
now i have just gotta keep my head clear
no fear

dont I l     ve here?
I took muse  lf to heaven
then went   back to hell
i guess I'm just that evil
that i would break
both our hearts
again
written on Renaissance Marriot on my 19th birthday. i spent it overlooking Toronto in a hotel room drinking miller light legally, while my mother slept in the other side of the suite.  i was there to see my favorite band radiohead, but the show was canceled due to a death in the stage collapse.  i have yet to see them.  i had just lost my best friend to possession and at the time i felt as if i would only be able to have her back in my life as my lover or whatnot, and i was about to be going manic. i spent the end of june in a mental hospital legally admitted. because the show was canceled, my loving mother being the sweet heart that she is bought me my favorite guitar  an electric acoustic Fender Armstrong Signature model.  the next night i put words to the music i heard in my head while writing this letter poem.     i hated it but its the only awkward lose leaf poem that stood out when i was picking out a bunch.  i sort of hope you enjoy my past. i know i did



where i end and you begin
Dec 2013 · 803
September. 22. 2012
this is another lived without bringing up death

as the cold breaks you understand what i face

*
hold back before you **** me

learning living
giving what you're giving
googled human existence
gave me the confidence
to get on top of this
thing I've been living in
give me duty or give me respect
ate up the alphabet
and shat out some consinents
it spelt this planent and
i decided to stay with it

i live but don't pay rent
have a whole continent
dwarf planet royalty baby
woke up to clouds and rain

797 cleared for take off
979 quit your day job
live long, and play young
don't act your age dawn
age is just race by the man
telling you what you can't and can
i too would do that for you
but its coming from a friend
not how many year you been living
not struggle thats not he reason for existence
put on shuffle all the thing that you love you
won't hustle yourself too hard, and burn out
just muster up the courage make a dream true
and play nice

i made a dream
and saved it for a rainy day on pluto

*

I've been here to watch you grow up
longer than you would even care to think pops
i fear that i was the thing crushing your dreams
stop
thinking that i am here as a fail clearly winning ha



Breaking the Habit.
Dec 2013 · 410
November 17, 2010
everything we know
is human.
humans even create
explanations for nature
anything human
will come to an end
we can not build anything
to last forever
we can not feel
anything
to last forever
we can not
last forever
in a world built to expire
there is no infinite anything
all that is infinite is space
and it seems the world has little of that
i can't think of anything more powerful
than an infinite vacuum of anything you would love
to last forever


*     * * * * *     *
every inch of our world
drenched, by the same water
over and over

endless cycle of repeating voices
noises visions of the noisiest
hungriest tool of destruction

demolishing villages
filling our oceans
filling our glasses
Bad displays of good hygiene  page 1
Dec 2013 · 453
June 29th, 2012
and i waited.
ever present sound, ringing my mind
killing me with hot things
that are just sudden impulse

tried to bring my knife today
found out this was not a fight at all
cringing ,still in your wake
your moves of a condor
slowly unfolding for me to find the fatal flaw
in your speech
and the things you had planned to say

they are not one in the same
i will never respect to see it that way.
i will respect to see straight energy
blinding the constant blare of a ripened stare


loaded with probably
killed with a maybe
Im sorry you had to walk all the way up
now and then, i wonder:
whats the world gonna be like when*
your heart stops pumping with compassion
and reality has lost sight of you
i don't really know but
i think that  
I'll never synchronize
to anything that brings me to my last day
when will i have i to lose?

----------------------------------
       *cold creamer in

my coffee.
     the steam, slowly deteriates &
   before my eyes.
prior to its disappearance
    i got a quick and
shallow glance
at the scrauol as it is lifted
into the air
sublime was the way then
in the murky November vapor
I love what i have
and all i have is giving me
hindsight? zero to 100 percent . epiphany.
some call it sin of gluttony
im loving how much i am feeling it
nasty cold december is tempting me
and I'm needing a bit more rest
than the amount you have given me
but i didn't even think about leaving
* i am loving my stay*
-----------------------------------
not the intellectual property of i but instead cherubs drifting in the past
taking glances in the rain
at the way it runs down your face
strangers still playing silly games
suddennow let every thing change
hey now hey now
dont make this harder
hey now hey now
you dont mean this right now
hey now you dont have to change
but you know you cant stay the same

taking you out in the rain
along with the way you hurt me
but dont realize it youre perfect
thats why i dont need you to change
but i cant have you stay the same
because we both know the way this is going
thats it will never ever be worth it
hey now hey now
dont make this hard now
hey now hey now
you dont have to walk that far now
better stay changing babe
guitar solo fade our 80s *** montage disco lights and ecstasy  like strangers in a romantic dream https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNv0LcPTF70
Dec 2013 · 1.3k
I
I
and here we go again something completely new
dont interest me i want to copy my old wings
self never recognized the different reasoning
so take my paragraph like you take war police
banging down your door at the alarm of a total
Nobody. gonna shut down this claim that is truly
interesting. but only because the gods got torment
in their left hand and its aimed at the war police
bang bang ******* do or die trying
dont release me till ive gotten noticably interesting
just kidding want that zombie glare of your adderol adding up for one romantic flunk
of an i love you too soon on the release a loaded
handgun adding up for the hanged cliff of a
no i didnt notice that you even had one
**** darling youre a little too marooned for good
i may be an island but ive got too little much time
for a skip and walk away from a main land
so if one siren does end up staying on the rocks
long enough to scare me into so/so sobriety
ill always have a place to be when i get abandoned
but its just another excuse for me to stay dry away warm till rescue in this imaginary existence
cruise line lexus like admiral for excusing favors
aint asking for the roseary im asking for the papers
legally im entitled to two doses of riddlin *******
dont believe me ******* here this is my perscrption
my dad prints them tenfoldin his crowded sub basement but i really need them to keep a day job
ancient time frame of a snitch who didnt know it
root cellar lack of oxygen braincells didnt grow in
see there lets blame it on the unintelligence then
connect that to the fact that hes  a convicted felon
ohhh touche and a top hat to you stay straight
snitches only seperate themselves from shittalkers
when they dont know a god walking among them
other wise they can stay down talk **** for days
bang bang another door down from the war police
you didnt know your neighbors were the sameside
as you how do you expect the numbers to blind the truth.  ba ba ba ba ba duh ba ba ba ba duh
take our troops out to dinner
Je peux emporter votre douleur encore
une fois vous vous sentez comme retomber
dans le même lit c'était presque facile
de tomber en amour avec moi comme je t'aime , mais vous ne serez jamais m'aimer
comme que vous
êtes un ange et je suis Satan spawn

Très chers mère Marie veuillez me pardonner votre favori pécheur car je suis maintenant n'est plus capable de faire la lumière dans ce monde de la sombre et froide Blackhearts timide que j'adore
Dec 2013 · 974
dedicated to the Lexus's
its hard to root out all i did for you
what was done for me- what wasnt done
it doesnt really matter tho either way
i smile and act like it dont mean a thing
it means everything to me to act your fool

decisions decisions decisions
decided to stay in bed today
i still made money
and my feet still hurt

descriptions descriptions describe me
decided to stay in my same suit
i still woke  up decided
im driving
not for you
but to you
every step slowing me down
keys melt into the door
this is a dream
youre not really still alive  

deciding deciding descriptions
people mostly lovers want descriptions
of you and why i am so me now
i am not me because of you
you are not you because of me
they dont understand decisions
why would they understand my descriptions

describe her other than as my Queen
other than the twin to my flame
its impossible without sounding
descriptively despicable.  .
and so i let go
and continue telling people you passed away

"what happened to that girl you decided youve  been in love with since the eleventh grade"
"i found out she got back with her ***** with the Lexus and the description of that purple haze"
Dec 2013 · 379
everyone is drowning men
ive been killing all day
so when i come home
just to take my clothes off
id respect the lord
if my bath water didnt stain me
with blood or rust
that maybe it do some justice
at washing clean the filth

did you come to stare
or help me wash away the blood

and after it all.  i dont regret anything
its all said and done  that i dont regret anything
i dream about you  nightly dreams of
regret and infinity

but when i wake up it ends
i still dont understand the images
but i know that you are not
infinity
touche
Dec 2013 · 947
on peddled roses
your lame body stretched out
skinny elephant in a pink dress
trapping my legs under your head
i couldnt drive
i could not swim
i could not
be anything

her heart will circumsize
the **** of every man
who doesnt fit her preference
a rose deep inside no peddles

her nose upturns the hopes
her hips a barren dance club
cosmetic intellect unintelligent
strips the pleasure from the moans

this other one is different in the right ways
but her age disgusts me like i disgust the righteous
ca va
Dec 2013 · 454
receipts/jointwraps/memoirs
penny stuck to your back
roll over
this makes one cents all together
risky shivers of tongue
inyour ear
what makes you tick

why do i paint these papers red
when does an unpicked scab heal
what will we do when the trumpets play
who will be raining down from the heavens

this night burns slowly
my voice cracks woefully
sending me over the edge of lonely

out of the fog parted by light
us driving over the hill
after the sun had set
no closure
tis the season to be jolly
its so what if i hate you
i still want you to take care
out of all fake love brought us
i just miss the way you stare
at me like you think ill stare back
now its impossible for you to do that
its hardest when i breathe out
all of the air from my lungs
while clinging to the bottom
of this lake trying hard to die from
either this pressure or whatever
this death brings first to measure
how much water i can keep in my lungs
its brought me nothing now
holding onto love like life
its so simple living now
life like the steady breeze
i am coming out of the water
a new man for living now
they said i can choose
anywhere i want to haunt
but i chose the same spot
where i used to kiss you
when i would walk you home
now every visitor that we get
gets this strange feeling
that i never had. of not being alone.

babe i didnt dance for reckoning.
i chanted for it and with my brethren
at the time: hand in hand on the hill

tasting carnal lust for the first night
we kissed to romance andto redwine
smoking out of the finest  rosemary and most potent tyne
i wish i could dream of my new love
because i found a brand new rose
and i got her good like the gods
they thought i deserve it i would
**** it up on the first time it came
to town because my baby well
she dont want me right now.
i just dream of you or less scary things maybe a funeral for two.
she says i scare her well just as well
i only have seven years
to live and die on this planet of hell

4 when i go to heaven. 777
i aint taking any angels with me
and its just as well   666

but imagine one could save me
an unstoppable redemption
i appreciate beauty in grandeur
divinity but yet i am banned in heaven - life is subliminal
i could be a blade for these seven
years maybe even for the Lord himself
would sin be outweighed by all of that death  
and that when i sit in purgatory
waiting to meet my makers
i got the chance to fill out an application
just like for one of my regular day jobs
it said apply to do it all over again
there would be only happiness
guilt free or worries negativities
and sorries. well BabyGirl i wouldnt
i would only start anew
and be different than you saw me
depending on how i saw you
from your video tape
depending on the look on your face
the nights i held you in our firey embrace
and determine if that was just
****
ink bleeding all my love out
most thugs dont just run towns
i remember what my pops told me
before i ever held pounds or the mammaries
your mind is whatever you put into it my spawn
so i only put sativa fry coldwine and this bullet
and the darkness fading fast-Satan lasts on my own
now
yet  im bound to out grow it
holy enough and banned from heaven
im the reincarnation of second tries
life to waste on avenging the rest of nine lives
seven taken out and passed around by the gods
sew me back together and try to sober me up

in big bold gothic lettering
peace in the name of the lord
words that are worth only remembering
by the pain on my back this pain that is
peace  
and being a servant of the lords
cast out of society by the mark of the serpent
888
Dec 2013 · 469
to live and die in L.a.
i am just an observer of the city of angels
and constant danger
thinking calis just wine and ******* but
it aint **** if we aint together
its me passing by a vagrant to the love
and what it is to them

i just want you to be grateful to love your hood
and let me know if its not allgood
so here i am trying to hit the studio to immortalize
youve got to be there to know it
youve got to coorperate with god in your eyes
what everyone wants to see
is me to live and die in la
to live and die in la
Dec 2013 · 579
Risk even tho Satisfaction
what keeps us bound on earth?
theres nothing keeping you to me
something is always keeping us apart
yet my thought my prayers they are for you

where are you this time of night?
when my bed is warm enough for two
nothing not even fabric in between
but its not us just me alone in calm sea

where have you been all my life ?
now that the sun of my innocense has set
does the devil have your number too
is that why we can lay awake for days

when will you be coming home?
its lonely without you here you know
you are my sun and moon
im the planet being stirred up.  even tho
your worlds not big enough for both of us
even tho you are all my shooting stars
My hands are trembling
as my finger brushes hair behind your ear
you've been sleeping an hour now
and i have no plans of when i will dream
because I'm already in a that certain mindstate
the fact that you are here- head on my chest
and that every single time i breathe,
you breathe in and breathe out for me
and
      you know
you make me happy
but did you know you make me more real?
and
       you know
you make me certain
now I'm not sure if I'm here or asleep.

this winter doesn't seem like its going to be
cold or anything at all
it seems like this is all one giant dream
and you will simply pass like a ship before the setting sun
and maybe you will, maybe the it will go back into the ocean
but this fire of lust or love or whatever this is
its something, and its still inside me since the day
if found you, or you found me

the past and you there playing the piano
Amelie - with such small hands skipping keys
my heart not open for some time, turning to wall
you here laying down on me in secrets gardens.
My go to, my Angel Eyes, my Lover thing.
Dec 2013 · 977
69%
69%
the beast howls the serpents home
sends fire up the spine of anyone
dare enough to be brave and dare me
terror amplified by the terror it tried
to feed me,  a dish of my own tongue
proper etiquette my mouth is mutual

hand gun presently displayed at his funeral
open casket hide the wound he was shooting from
at open lung hide this toxicity toxicology talk
st peter knows opiates like i know opiates
Mieux nous mentir nus ensemble et rester au chaud, puis être vêtu dans la tombe et être froid mais toujours aimante, en enfer , dans sa chaleur et les flammes nues . vous êtes mon tout, vous êtes mes se dévisse, mon prophète de l'amour, c'est pas mal cupidon
Dealer has no reason but to play showing
Irony has the finest meaning when your divinity
***, Salt, and the finer indulgences of life, in a pool
aside wrist watches and pin scratched 9mm's

The son, in the lime light as always, hits on a twelve
seven  being the amount of even luck tonight
for his father drawing the King and Queen of Hearts
following suit, the Devil with the Ace heart showing
smiles with the turn on the Twenty One

Im trembling, but yet the only tears to my eyes blood
having trouble seeing past the red, why it is me
of all of hells card dealers- why tonight is this game
weighing consciousness on my head
for I can't sit at a 12
knowing all the well that my number is Six
I've been counting cards with divinity

and my luck as finally split
18 I infinitely sit

Triple 6's
for I was only ever mortal,
yet Ive been playing cards
being envied by the infernal

Next hand ; pool even deeper
blood even thicker
Christ busts on an easy 13
God takes the 7 7 split  
for two queens, seventeen leads
Satan doubles down on an 11
for a 6, seventeen still leads

I curse LadyLuck, but it turns her on
Two black sevens staring me dead
Why do the psychic serve cards
in hell- is it to walk into traps
like dreams of slaying Queens

Seven of Hearts
house collects
Mother Teresa
Wine
Man

Bets in
7778666
Dec 2013 · 329
Last night , Again
While the colors fade onto my tongue
the world seems to suddenly dissolve
final retribution to the land I've been
inveloping ocean sure enough to sink

I'm your island baby, not the waves
I'm how they dont know how to feel,
the birds and the bees above and
below us they steal time just to feel
I only feel the roses thorn,
polen ****** and swallowed

Words are too messy, and way past time
I end in my mouth
                                 by saying more but
nothing at all.

You were my fantasy, now I can't wake up.
But babe we were never dreaming till now
Nov 2013 · 388
Im afraid I
hands soft as sand
slipping away but turning over
my hour glass shaped lover
where do your thoughts lay?
are they of us or me or you
or do they divide you into two?

the way your eyes are mystery
but yet when I close mine
I still see yours,
glowing for the first time
for the days that we will turn into
time: the history that will come our way
this being how things are meant to play

Destiny, you are the way I wanted you to be.
the smiles that I now make exist I feel
caught the sun off guard, waking up next to you
by cherubs dancing all the while we’ve slept
but yet I feel like this isn’t the first time , or yet
is this even real, or just a dream -its just still now
that I have kissed you, ****** serene lovely eyed
Destiny

Im afraid I
am going to have to do it again and again
There we were vagrants in my fathers old house
Amid trash , you didn't mind for it was our mess
Just as we are to make it sealed with a kiss
They found us, and forced us to conform.  

Take me out, lay me down, let the dirt fall all around
Aint it good to be back home.  

I taught you how to play guitar, and duet with me
on the song I love more than the rest, because its yours
Cookie moon, Im so in love with you when you smile

So there I was, shaking the hand of my heroes
who all knew me by name. Some kid opened for an empty floor
and it wasn't me.  no I was after him.
Instead I was going for our first kiss
and there it was, better than all the other dreams
The side stage curtains flapped up with the gust that was us
you kissing me sloppy, I have more teaching to do

There I was with a broken guitar getting it micd
and you over there smiling because you are high
or maybe because you love me too. I dont know
because I woke up a state away, sweating
clutching a pillow I hoped would be you.
Nov 2013 · 471
Did you or don't you?
Did you know that you could call me anytime?
Don't you know that if there is more on your mind
you can write me a letter-or a novel
Ill find it in the mail that I'm going to check daily until
the next time we live,
                                       within walking distance
if you move to Tacoma I will rent out monthly
just to see you in my off time again daily.
Don't you know I would expect the same from  you

Hey did you know you could visit me , Hottie?
your car is good on gas and I know your school is done
we could explore the wild world together
I hear above the mojave , the stars are incredible
and the rain isn't heave enough for us to love
we can stay friends in the dry , or we can move to the coast.

Don't you want to move to the coast?
Nov 2013 · 442
A reference of Demons.
Today I fell into the Lonely again
my Envy my caged love bird
solemnly giving hits of Acid out

why do this Sadness baby
as you leak out into my Mouth
wasn't hard to Convince you
into my room We go around

after I said goodbye to my New
Grecian Lover- whom I held
one night- before She marked me
with the sign of the Beast- i
counted my new tally of being Used

Now that I'm furthermore International
Why would You lay with me?
even tho you gave Me back the ring
why would you Kiss me on the cheek
and lay on and under my Wing?
why would I wake up to escape us?
Se7en
Nov 2013 · 614
True story
Last night at dinner, I pointed at a picture
and it fell down from across the restaurant.

The management stood around shocked
wondering who pried it from its screws.

It was me, with anger and with deep hate
for understanding  I dont have of you.

I wanted all the frustration to leave me
go from my heart into my fingertip n out!

Why you think us remains impossible
to even simply be friends that talk.

When will you **** yourself
?
I heard its soon, but when?

What life will you be better in?
Princess I hate hating you

but next time I'm a child,
and depending on our age

Ill ******* again,
but ill be the one leaving.
Nov 2013 · 1.8k
Makaveli
im a let that bass set
back to the view you
been checking me at
you be asking me questions like
do you not love yourself?
***** better check yourself
i would have taken my strap
to the back of my right cheek fat
sprayed my old gang with shrap
the blood and my skull by the scrap
so please bare with me
child will you ever see
we on the attack
this country that we born in,
is the enemy to the ones that we once had
turning itself into the biggest group of bang
so now that you are stuck in this whirlwind insane
ready to die, bonnie and clyde , two thousand and nine
when you gonna see that this dynamic duo
dont make the world turn with our voodoo
they dont know whats going on here
they too busy across seas in the world
so what we doing 85 when we ride
they just wiped out a whole **** tribe
two bullets holes instead of  their eyes
world dont even take this country seriously
they have us on every angle no peers
just the enemies, spitting prophecies
made in their fears
that we gonna collapse
everyone put money in us by the wraps

too many kids going to bed starved
when other fat *** mother *******
grow too many vegetables in their yard
turn nutrition into trash, so what if they compact
all you old *** troops, still living in the war that we had
were  a whole planet of warriors, let alone were the home
to the worst and the best of the wickedly out of the world
celebrate your serial killers, and dead rulers, not even with curls

so even tho it took Jimmy Henchman seven days
the reaper follows me in ever track that i lead
believe that I never write the realest **** i ever spoke
knowing the secrets of the underworld let me bleed
shouldn't have ever seaked out the truth they wrote
setting all the serpents septers after me, black cats
shotty caps, bullet scraps, hub cabs, and shorty tats
Grim Reaper oxyacetylenes in my dreams chrome gleams
Protected by the Prince of Air, setting things right first in my dreams
Nov 2013 · 319
Alice Lover
I loved you the other day
wouldn't it go on the next
or the next day
of course it went on
and i survived it till now
its been this way since
the day i first loved you
even on the days i said
i didn't love you
whether i love you
before and just not anymore
i still loved you
and i continued to love you
until the last time i told you
that i loved you and wasn't
lying because i loved you
in the past and i didn't
know the future.
I know you, thats why you know me
We've had enough time to ourselves
I threw knives in the circus-
Got in an argument with the lion
My boss is the only one who tamed him
So I got in a fight with my boss

I took my knives
and left - west
I know you know -why you know me
is a mystery
but I still remember your address
from all those postcards I would Send
I never told you that,
I threw knives

So heres my money and the death of me
since you never replied
                                         This is for your home
I dont live there anymore.
Nov 2013 · 677
When America comes back
it was 4 am the baby was kicking
they both wanted mint chocolate chip
which was the only thing
not in the hotels mini fridge
I being the loving father to be
left in my levis from yesterday
the best decision I ever made
was kissing her goodbye

So now here I am in the closet
of the man who ruined our vacation
Alameda trailer home
clutching a vial of heroine
and a pair of pliers

Symbolistic white walls
surround my fate
if i dont pull these teeth
in secret

the villain shakes the whole
**** death trap
opening his lock for the last time
the worst decision he ever made
was locking the door
a few minutes later his hand
scratched at the ****
until the opiates
settled the score
his body now the rag doll,
I wanted to impregnate him
with the love my son could have been
and tear it out of him with the same tools
dangle it from the same floor lamp
that is in an evidence room locker
with my D.N.A. all over it

the worst decision the cops ever made
showing me the list of suspects.  

the worst decision I ever made
was narrowing them down, one by one.
Next page