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 Jul 2013 fragments of hearts
ERR
When I die
Don’t be sad
It won’t change a thing
And I’m not coming back
If you care so much
Lets be happy now
Together

When I go, don’t pick pretty things
Sweet petaled flora
Piling the dying on the dead
Instead, plant me something colorful
Make sure it gets water, and sun

When I leave
Don’t whisper angry should-haves
Or wish you’d let me know
Start writing
I would love to hear from you

Read more
Help a stranger, or someone you hate
Commit yourself to something
Quit a self-destructive habit

When I’m gone
Talk to me
I’ll listen

Think about things that make you cry
And be braver than you are numb
Pray, even when you've stopped
Believing or think it’s dumb

When I’m done
Don’t march in black, or be scared to use my name
Celebrate your own vitality
Tell stories and remember
I hope I made you laugh
Drink and hug and live
And say to that creeping specter
That ever looming doom
To *******
Not today

Don’t hold grudges
All love comes from forgiveness
Of self
Challenge your ideas
It’s alright to be wrong

After me
Keep living

When you are empty
When you are down
When your winter soul is a frigid void
Feel my mitts on your tense shoulders
And the warmth of my arm’s cocoon
Swim in my eyes
Let me heal you, let me soothe

When you doubt it most
When there is only sting and ache
I will be with you
I will love you

You will never be alone
my wonderland.
filled with such beauty
never touched with imperfections.
my wonderland.
clouds shaped like flowers
sky crystal blue.
my wonderland.
everything up to my expectations
im never to be disappointed.
my wonderland.
talking fairies with beautiful voices
dragons with jade skin
flying through the sky with grace.
my wonderland.
a kingdom above the clouds,
Above the sky!
my wonderland.
a fire dancer will mirror my loves face.
my wonderland.
my sweet sweet wonderland.
I will be there some day.
nothing has ever hurt more.
word after word
sentence after sentence
it hits me.
breath after breath
excuse after excuse
makes it worse.
is this it?
is this where I stand with you?
is this who I am?

1
we kissed.
we touched.
we went far.
we were a huge MISTAKE.
I cry knowing what I've done.

2
we kissed.
we touched.
we went far.
you played,
but stayed.
I cry, I weep,
I scream myself to sleep.
im attached.
but I cant hold you down.
please be mine.

3
we kissed.
we touched.
we stopped.
you had her,
but came to me.
I cant see.
im blind from this defeat.
do you remember these words?

" you always fall for the wrong guys. "

I do.

& you were one of them.



I don't know who to believe.
who am I?
is this it?
am I a ***?
a ****?


because of a kiss?
a touch?

I don't know the answer.
someone please tell me.


*Is This Where I Stand?
Maybe if I paint my lips red
I’ll forget I’m hallow
And maybe if I put on
My favorite skinny jeans
I’ll know what it means to feel
pretty
I’ll remember that
I have tomorrow
And the clinching in my chest
Meant to jest at my own demise
And the way I despise myself
Won’t always show in sad blue water eyes
I can’t hide at the back of the shelf.
I can’t  be stifled by my own sorrow,
Let me borrow your sunshine,
I’ll bring mine tomorrow.
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