obdurate, ******,
he fastened twine
tied to tarsals
around my
ventricles,
closed off
the vena cava

i am blue
in the breastbone

empty blood
can't reach
the lungs

but
i am equipped
with the tools
to deal with this

animal instinct
to fight off
infection
or to let it in
and cradle
me every
night at
2
when you
wake to
make sure
you haven't
missed

the tug at your toes
or
the platelets & plasma
or
a warm wavelength --
a chance to record a dream
you lost in rising

remember to never let a ****** change you
without permission

i wrote you
letters last January
so many, i
had to pull the sterling rings
you gave me
from my cramping fingers
just to keep
putting bone against black
and ease you
out of me gently

*** was never as good
with the dishes done
or the laundry folded
and we never
held time
for chores
once we
were finished

iwillnotindulgeinbreakuppoetry
*nomatterhowgooditfeels

Hello? Poetry?
Where are you?
Last time I checked
you were inside of me.
Last time I turned around
you were my shadow, still
basking in the light.
Above me and below me,
the only one who knew me.
It seems we've lost touch.
Looking back it's still a familiar feeling.
Again, here I am.
Wondering where you are.
Wondering if I ever really had you
or if it was just you who had me,
without holding, just bursting out.
I can't forget you, won't regret you
or the time left over since I knew I
would see you. Face to face. I know
now that it was just another phase.
No time should be erased. Simply
move on, it's not a race, it's not  a
crime to try different things. Just
now, I knew, the moving through
only gets you beyond. Avoiding
the judgment that so arrogantly
plays, forward, we're pushing
forward to a new place. Hello,
poetry?
Hello!
We're getting close.

fire me towards a career
or something
(any/or/either/neither)
because i haven’t been
playing music

and i’m starting to seem
the emaciate-pit peach on  a too-tall
tree of plenty
just out of reach

of tantalus,
waist-deep in a river
of cornsilk braids too
rich for eyes, too coarse for tongue or teeth

garden of goddesses
wielding life-flow
geometry
keep the
hounds and
ghost-things
at bay.

undress a smoky corset,
tendrils, or turgid
rapids, swatting
ceases less
twining strands
than flies.

i wish it away,
woven comfort,
a web of fraying
calico and red tape,
bearing the weight
of an arachnid slew.

yet away with it
yields my downfall,
tumbling branch
to branch,
unfeeling, unthinking,
but for my parachute.

i lost a life
to watching
a mirror and
the marker in my hand,
but it could not stop
the leaves from drifting,
nor the water from taking the leaves,
nor those leaves from disintegrating.

simmer down,
shudder breath,
breathe deep
&center