I'm staring out the taxi window
Watching the droplets of rain
Hit the ground in agony
The wailing sound of the
Clouds rubbing against
Each other in sync with the cry
Within me
I am NOT sad; neither am I happy
I just didn't see you today
And I feel as if I'm missing
A huge part of me
We haven't even spoken
I don't know the sound of
Your voice
But I know the beaming smile
That catches my eye every
Time I get to campus
The radiance in your eyes
That somehow manages to
Travel in the medium of air
And seeps in my veins
To become something deeper
And more meaningful

It's YOUR happiness that
Glints from afar that
I am missing

Diving in the abyss
Of your blue eyes
The waves of love that
Had longed
To crash upon me
Reared up high
And gulped me

Watch as the sun
Slowly slides over the horizon
Leaving behind a touch of
Pearly pinks, dusky purples
And vibrant hues of red
Ah there,
Battered dreams quickly wither
Darkness settles in,
The crystal envoys
Paint a portrait of
Pure serenity



Hope is reborn
Our destinies are within our
Reach as our dreams soon
Come to realization
It's a beautiful ambiance
And the solid gold
Paints over the Eastern side
And it's overwhelming beauty
Is welcomed by those
With expectations of
Bettering their present

I watch as moonlight
Sinks into the shadows
Burning eyes
As I stare at the starry night

Yet the light
Recalls memories of happy
Strolls under the dancing stars
How I wish I could tell him
Nothing has altered the course
Of the passion that burns
Spontaneously

My soul longs for the boy
Who once painted beautiful
Portraits of love on my canvas
And I realize I would gladly
Batter my hopes of heaven
For a moment to call him
Mine again

After a few flings
I'm starting to wonder
If I'm feeling nostalgic
'Cause their kisses
Taste like yours,
I see your smug face
Plastered across each
One of their haunting faces
And their voices are
Starting to sound like yours

And I can't get high
Enough to rid myself of the
Flavor of your kisses
Or your memory
That burns my eyelids
Evey time I close my eyes
But I've learned to
Keep them open

My body has become
A landmine
Waiting to explode
With one flimsy touch
I'll turn every substance
In the vicinity black

I'd apologise
But he doesn't love me
He's just in love with
The idea of being with me
Lust so rich,
Tracing the curves of my body
He leaves no inch
Unexplored leaving his
Fingerprints all over my skin
Watching him turn to ash
Wouldn't be such a bad idea
Then he'd know
Where I'm coming from

"I'm sorry, forgive me"
"I'll never raise my hand at you
I swear"
"I love you"

These bruises on my face that
I tried to conceal are finally
Wearing me
Not all the make-up in the
World can beautify the tallies
Of your anger that adorn my
Skin

Your heart beats anger
And it courses through your veins
Pulps of blood I tried
To hide with layers of clothes
Have finally stained
And I can't lie anymore

You call this love?
Is love the purple bruises
Plastered across my pale skin
That have been left behind
By the velvety hands I used
To yearn for?

You love me
It's okay
I should not be afraid
You were just blowing
Off steam
You love me

I've been swimming in this
Pool of denial long enough
To know that I can't really
Swim, I'm drowning
And my feet are firmly
Fixed on the ground

I am afraid of
The monsters lurking
Behind the iris of your pupil
The demons that lurk
Behind your shadows

I haven't seen my mother
In a few months
I'm scared she'll see behind
The facade I put on
She'll tell me
"Baby, you need to leave"
And I don't want to leave
He doesn't want me to leave

My head has been banged
Across the kitchen walls
More than it has been raised
These walls have been repainted
Repainted, and repainted
My scalp has been snatched
More times that I've cared to
Admit

I'm ashamed to say
I've traded parts of me
For shambles of trust,
A lot of bruises,
Rough ***,
Infatuation,
And called it love

You are deckled with stars
My crystal habitue of the night
Not even my greatest
Lines give a glimpse
Of the light you are

Your touch is the fire
Within me that burns
The bright yellow that is
Not even a wisp of
The flame that's in your eyes

The quintessence of my night,
Your shadow sparks perhaps
What should be left dead
The essence of my night
Stands beside me
As the orange glows
And illuminates his face