I confess
My head’s a mess and
Your ways are merciless
I count the seconds
And when it reaches a minute
I will admit
I sent you flowers that turned into hours
Two dozen in a day
Which started to rot
Eventually decay
And crumble into weeks
Of trembling hands and salted cheeks
Multiplied by four makes a month
With more to follow
Of empty nights and broken bottles
Just another wasted year
Another year of getting wasted
You're the only one I see in a crowd of Faces
Let's face it
I could never find a replacement
It's hard to erase this
We write on different pages
But read between the lines
Our hearts are adjacent
Don’t expect me to pretend
All we could be is "friends"
When it's clear
I will love you until the end

I woke up crying last night.
I'm no longer safe.
I fear the one place that used to be my haven, no longer carries the comfort that my subconscious mind seeks throughout the day.
I used to be able to slip into the darkness and be covered by its blanket of serenity.
But I'm no longer safe….
You followed me into the dark with intentions so ill.
You ripped off the clothes that it provided my soul with and took great pleasure in staring at my ******.
You  mocked my vulnerability and laughed at my sensitivity.
My head swung down in shame, and my brain spun with confusion
This was my safe place and you trespassed it.
You really never knew your limits...
I felt a hot tear sting my cheek and watched it glisten as it hit the floor in slow motion
I wiped it with my foot quickly so you wouldn't see, but it was too late
You used it as ammunition, fuel to keep your wicked ways running.
You brought back memories that I stored so far back in my brain, memories that I never wanted to relive.
You engraved them in the palms of my hands, using my blood as ink.
You whispered them in my ears with a haunting laugh.
I stood there.. paralyzed, unable to fend for myself.
My body finally felt movement as I dropped to my knees in defeat
You won and you knew it.
I laid there in the dark.
Drowning in a puddle of my own luke warm tears.
My hair was soaked and my eyes burned.
There was no more happy, none. I couldn't stop the tears from coming…
I heard your footsteps as you finally started walking towards the exit.
The click clack sound of the heels of your shoes scraping the ground made my insides churn.
When they stopped, I knew you had reached the door.
With one hand on the door ****, you turned around and shouted at me,
Actually, more like a hiss.
You told me that you'd be back.
You said that every time that I closed my fatigued eyes, you'd be there waiting for me.
Then there was a slam. One with such conviction, a slam unlike one that I'd ever heard before.
My tears slowed down because you were gone, but they certainly did not stop.
I suddenly felt myself clenching bed sheets, and cold air flooded my nose.
I let go abruptly and gasped, wanting more of that precious fresh air.
My face was raw from tears and my pillow was drenched.
I can't hide in the night anymore.
I woke up crying tonight..
My dreams are no longer safe…