I know that today is just another day.
But to me it's the most important day of my life so far.
I know, I know.
I'm being over dramatic.

But really.
How many times will I turn 16?
Sweet,
Sweet,
Sweet sixteen.

I wished for a day full of love and fun.
And what did I get?
Rejection from my friends...
Awesome.
I just want to feel something other than loneliness.
I don't think that will happen though.

I want to be loved,
And hugged,
And sang to,
And kissed,
And held,

Like how I was forever,
And he was my always.

The perfect match.
On the perfect day.
But no.
That's over.

I just want to be loved...
I just want to have today to make my wishes come true...
Just today... That would be nice..

This place with its walls like a polymer that only heat destroys.
And there is no heat here.
There is no love to create heat and **** those oppressing walls.
Just knock them down.

Forever and always fitting together like the hands of a mother and her new born baby.
Made perfectly, to bond instantly.

Sweet sixteen isn't sweet at all...
It's bitter.
Like the bitter bite of this everlasting cold,
In this place with no heat to beat the walls.
Down.

I'd like to know what everyone thinks of me today.
Just for today so that I can know who to stay away from so I don't get hurt.
Again.

The old one said mean things about me.
I once heard that when girls get bad comments about things like their hair,
Or an outfit,
They will NEVER wear it again without thinking only about that one comment.

He said "that girl" like I was a disease he'd found on the handle of his car.
He said "yeah the one with her hair always messed up."
She said to him "It's naturally curly and I like it."

I can't believe that he would say that.
I can't believe that he is the boy who was always and I was forever.

There is this other boy now.
He wants to go to far with me.
I want to ask him,
Do you even know me?
Do you even know my middle name?

I miss being loved.
I miss no drama.
I miss especially,,,
Oregon.
Even if i don't get anything i want out of today,
I really, truly love Oregon.
No doubts about it.

But it's my sweet sixteen,
And i just want one thing.
To be loved.

The heel of my hand can yin and yang
your cheekbone's hollow, thumb and finger tease
that ear lobe's cushion plush; can probe so lang-
uidly along this niche beneath your knees.
The luscious clutch of flesh holding your hips
to ribcage-harp strums slowly with each sigh;
those shoulders twitch how doves shrug, as my lips
trip jawline, neck and collar, waist then thigh.
I swear your skin tastes sweet between my teeth.
I dare you, close those eyes and let me brush
against each giddy iris underneath -
their flickers quicken, blossoming through blush -
I must touch every vertebra in turn
before your sternum curves the arc I yearn.

In fact
I will be
Back after
school gets
out
I watch
my own
boots as
I walk
down the
Street how
oh how oh how
they are laced
i traced
my finger
from
your
middle
toe
to
your
******
until
You said
You didn't love me
I'm tough though
I can let it go
and I can
be Oh so easily
the one
who forgets
the scent of
your bedroom
and the weight
of you against my
side
at least I tried
at least I
******* tried
to remeber
the shotgun barrel
pressed to your
breast in my dreams
it was a long
night and you were my moon
I never cry
but I sighed
when you told me
How his parentsmoney
really love you.=  
I
don't need anyone
who has intentions
just someone who
lives
just someone who will
like
My inventions

How do you always work
And still don't stop you clock..
How do you always shine
And still so divine you sun..
How do you always reflect..
But still so correct you mirror..
How do you always advice..
And always so wise you father..
How do you always care..
And always ready to flare you mom..
How do you always cheat..
And manage to win you liar..
How do you want to be happy
When people consider you  sappy
How do you always want to love
While people hate you you heart
How do i always write..
May or may not be satire you writing..

apples and oranges
are what you've given me
I am in misery
and for the life in me
what do I do that is right or wrong?

I'm hanging on every word
from everywhere
that I can hear
there and here
just what will you say next?

my ears, heart, and eyes are open
searching for words unspoken
why is it unclear to me
what am I missing here?
what am I missing, dear?
what am I doing here?

I'm thinking up every time
and every line
to say to you
the future is mine
so what am i to do?
would someone tell me what to do?

Silhouettes of perfection
mirrored in the moon's reflection
As they dance across the plain.

Sheets of grass are crisp with dew
From the condensation
caused by the concentration
of their gaze.

Blind to the life they draw
they are stopped only by thunderous applause
from the voyeurs of their strain

Horns shattering the silence of an intimate exchange.
Excited by the very motion of the living.
The color of their exsistance change.
Any misgiving and the other will find where fury preys.