She was like the air, you couldn't see her, but you could feel her,
And you knew that she was there.
She was like the moon, beautiful and brilliant, and so lightly for the moon walkers.
Also, she was like the darkness, deep and empty.
And her heart, god ! Her ******* heart was cold as an ice  & strong as a stone;but in the good hands that heart could melted just like the ice cubes melted under the sun:slowly and fascinating.
She feels like the ******* death but also she was like a shot of life.

I've lost my self again,
I've lost it between the hope and the fatih,
Between the past and the future,
Between my soul and my body.

I've lost my self againg, i wanna found it
But how can i found something that i don't know?
Where can i looking for?
Sometimes i try to search it through my memories,
But that only make it worst, make more painfull.

I've lost my self again,
And i've been lost since i don't recognize who i'm,
And that happens over and over again.

Here i'm, freeze looking at my cellphone screen.
Reading each word that you wrote,
Hearing my heart falling in pieces,  
Trying to keep my mind in calm before someone notice
That i'm getting crazy.

Take a deep breathe, count 1,2,3, 1,2,3, 1,2,3, 1,2...
Stop, is just another human in the world,
I repeat that words to myself around 100 times
But of course even making this calming process
I can't hide my anxiety every time that you send me
A message after a long period without talking.

It's always the same thing, the same game, the same words
"I miss you", "i love you", " i've been thinking about you"
I don't wanna trust that words anymore but a part of my heart and
a part of my emotional disorder tells me that you still in love with me
in a deeper part Of you cold heart, that you feel something strong for me,
something real...

But the other part of my heart and my awareness  
shout me that they had enough Of this game,
that they're hurt and that they're tired
because this is the 5th year that This game happens again,
that you play with me again and i really don't wanna play this anymore.

I'm here alone again,
Thinking about all i've lived,
Thinking about the good times and the bad times,
Thinking about you, thinking about me.

I'm here alone again,
Infront the mirror, looking at me,
Looking my destruction,
Looking that i'm a mess.

I'm here, but not alone,
Because I found a place confortable,
between the darknes and the sadness,
So i don't have to feel alone again.