Who I use to be
will forever be a part of me
there's nothing I can do
Its who I am Through and through.

~

She use to be oh so bold.
Never had a care in the world.
She stood tall with her head held high.
Confident walk with an atittude to match.

She never let her self fall
Never let herself be blinded
By.. All.. The... silly.... things in life.

~

Who I use to be
will forever be a part of me
there's nothing I can do
Its who I am Through and through.

~

A child of the darkness
A child with no mercy
Her heart frozen solid

Not caring who she hurt
leave bodies in her wake
She.. didnt... care.. about.. anyone

~

Who I use to be
will forever be a part of me
there's nothing I can do
Its who I am Through and through.

~

No matter what I do
She will always be lurking
in the deepest shadows
of my heart

She will
try to
claw her
way through

~

who I use to be
will forever be apart of me

~

Who I use to be
will forever be a part of me
there's nothing I can do
Its who I am Through and through.

Who I use to be
will forever be a part of me
there's nothing I can do
Its who I am Through and through.

You don't see just how badly
You hurt me.

Replaced and abandoned
Forgotten.

Ive cried my tears
And screamed my rage.
But it didn't bring you back.

So I give up.

Im done.

I wont let it hurt me.

I wont let you hurt me.

Ive made my peace.

Every cell in my body is screaming at me
You Need To Sleep!!!

But I have things to do!
I have a job to go to!

My body rebels trying to fall asleep without my permission
It doesnt care that I Am WALKING!!!!!

Head pounding, Eyes gritty and heavy
Yawns ripping from my mouth unwillingly.

Barely functioning, a walking Zombie.
going through the motions like I'm on auto pilot

This is only day two.
I can't imagine what the rest of the week will be like.

There is NO
Good
Or
Evil
In this world

Just
Shades
Of Grey

So what if I'm being a *****
So what if I'm acting rude
Right now I think I am allowed

I dont care anymore
I dont give a rats ***
I'm sooo past done

Just going through the motions
not taking anything in
Not caring about anything

I know its mean
and I know its not right
But trust me
right now its for the best

Its either that or a mental break down
My emotions are bubbling up
and I cant stem the flow

I need to remove myself from it all
so I can quietly and calmly
pull my self together
I'm sorry If that hurts you

I'm not trying to be mean
I'm not trying to push anyone away

I just need to do this for me
I hope you understand

I'll give you the moon at night
I'll give you star that lights your eyes I'll give you the sun that made just one more dawn
So another day may come
I'll give you my heart and soul
I'll be there to catch you when you fall When you ask me what I give to you Girl I'll give it all

Look into her eyes
And you'll see her pain

Look into her eyes
And you'll see her fear

Look into her eyes
And you'll see pure love

I normally keep it hidden
With a joke and a Smile
But if you look closely
you might be able to see

My eyes all shiny
with unshed tears
my body tense
to keep it from falling apart

I just want to cry
break the dam
and let the tears flow

Every day
all day
I just want to cry

Its the shadow
That haunts her mind.
The one who
turns her friends
Into enemies
Her fear.
**Her Nightmare.

What I want
is to have a family
that isnt scattered across the east coast.

What I want
is to not have this feeling
Of Being out of place.

What I want
Is...

Oh hell I dont know what I want anymore
My thoughts are to tangled to decipher my feelings

My heart woke up
the day I met you
your name is whispered
through it beating through it
My heart
it beats
only for you

My soul came alive
the day I met you
It met its other half
connecting so perfectly
no longer
broken
completly repaired

My being started living
the day I met you
It hums in anticepation
when ever your around
it craves your touch
dancing across
my skin

All these things add up
to one  little thing
do you want to know what?
its simple really

I love you
With my whole
Heart
Soul
and
Being

I've tried to fix the cracks
That snaked throughout our relationship
But the fights
and the digs
made them grow
Now they are as big
as the great caynon.

I give up
I'm done trying
I'm done with the fights
and the tears that do nothing.
I'm tired of the stress and the anxiety.

The only reason I stick around
Is because I made a promise
to someone that means the world to me.
I promised my sister I would never abandon her.
So I will stay here, Its so worth it.

But I'm done trying to fix us
I'm done trying to get close to you.
Mother I will always love you .
But Our relationship is just
To broken to ever be repaired.

You have Cunfuzled
the cunfuzled
in the cunfuzlment
Art of cunfuzlism

if you dont understand
then you just arent
as cunfuzliness as we

My thoughts
up and down
side to side
in every which direction
zooming around to fast
for me to pull them
and examine them

should I just stay here
And leave everything
and everyone behind
and in my past?

should I cling to them
for dear life
and pray I get to them soon?

should I just run away
from this place
and start over completly new?

a new me
that no one knows
make a new life?

OR........

Should I take this knife
and plunge it into my
blackening heart
and crush my soul?

I just dont know
anything anymore

When I am having a long
and frustrating day at work
I just look for a message from you
and my day gets a little better

Never thought we would become friends
But I'm glad we did.
You're a listener when I need to vent
But just know I'm here for you too

And just to show how much a great friend you've become
I've given you a nickname.
I only do this for the people
that have become a part of my life
to the people I hope stick around for a while.

So hey Seshy?
Welcome to my crazy
hectic life
Thanks for being my friend!!!

:-D :-D :-D

I wish I could see myself
the way you see me.
Because when I look in the mirror
all I see is the imperfections

Life without your love
Is no life at all

All it is is an empty existance
deviod of all emotions.

Without your love
my life is meaningless

Just a hellish life,
worthless.

No matter how small
Or un important
you think you are

You mean something to someone
even if you don't know who

It may be a stranger you pass every day
It may be the girl at the coffee shop
or the boy with the hoodie you see on the bus

You are IMPORTANT
Even if you don't believe

You
Are
Important
Someone
Cares
About
You

Just thought I'd let you know

Fear is your worst nightmare coming to life.
It's the thing that's gnawing at your imagination
waiting to strike.
when it comes your breathe falls short
and your hands go cold.
your brain says run
but your rooted to the spot
you wonder whats happening to you
fear.
fear is whats happening to you.
once your in its grip
your stuck for life.

Have you ever been sick of yourself?
Lay awake at night
staring at the ceiling.
Going over who you are as a person.

Have you ever just hated your life
Lay awake at night
Too hot out to sleep.
Wondering how it became this way.

I'm so sick of me,
and who I've become.

I cant stand who I am,
And what I've let my life
Fall into.

I
Hate
Me

Bite my lip
                                giggle
                                                     slice
                                                                                                         A little piece of heaven dies

Never forget
who you are.

Never say something
you'll regret later on.

Never do something
you know is wrong.

Never miss a chance to tell someone
you love them.

Never tell a lie
you cant undo.

Never cause harm
that's damaging forever.

Never steal
when you have the money.

Never fight
when it can be done differently.

Never do something poorly
when you know you can do it better.

After all
you only live and have
one life.

So I dont know exactly how this website works except for posting poems reading others like and commenting and sometimes reposting. SOOO when I saw in my notifications that one of my poems started Trending I was like HUH? I still dont know what it means other then I guess now its so EVERYONE can read. I dont really know. But I went back through all my notificatiosn and realized its my ONLY poem to ever start TRENDING.

I believe it must have something to do with all my followers liking it or something? maybe?
But if that is the case then I want to say this

THANK YOU FOLLOWERS!!!!
you took a poem that meant alot to me and made it even more special.
I am forever grateful to each and every one of you :-D :-D

From the ashes
of a Shattered mind
I rise Anew

Every time I see you I light up
because I know that in a few seconds
I will be in the arms of a guy
that is soo amazing.

who treats me with so much respect
that I don't know how to comprehend
sometimes...

someone that I love so much
that I can't even express it fully..

someone that I know I finally realize
I can turn to when I am in trouble
because he will be there for me
and will know just what to say...

Someone that gives the best advise....

Every time see you I get butterflies
even after a year

And every morning when I wake up
I can't wait to get to the college
so I can kiss you and wrap my arms around you...

I have to restrain myself
from tackling you every time see you

Never dreamed this would happen
Never dreamed I'd be talking to him
Never thought I would consider him....
..... A friend

But I guess he is.
Huh Who would have known?

How do I know when it's love
I can't tell you but it lasts forever
How does it feel when it's love
It's just something you feel together
When it's love

I guess you cant see
the pain in my eyes
Or  hear
the pain in my voice
or the pain
I hide in my text

Where are you
when I really need you?

I need you now
I need you to be there

Where are you?

Let the unspoken
truth be heard.
Let the words
pass by my lips.
I love you.

The girl you see everyday
is the girl I want you to see

The true me

Is a scared little girl
whose heart and soul
has been damaged
beyond repair

Please.
Please whisper in my ear
that you care.
Hold my hand
and tell me you'll always be there.
Walk with me
and never look back.