Fenix Flight

Fenix Flight May 2016

Sometimes Letting go
Hurts less then the burns
you get from Holding on.

But what if the burns
never heal?
What if the pain
Never fades?

Then wouldnt the letting go
Hurt more in the long run?
Why risk that pain
when False hope is so Comforting

False hope
tells you everything you want to hear
False hope
Gives you everything your heart desires

But when it shatters.
The letting go.
It hurts like hell
it hurts more then the false hope
of holding on

Fenix Flight May 2016

Sad Little Girl

It was staring her in the face.
Laughing at her as her tears fell.
It taunted her with its cruel reality.

She wasnt special. She wasnt anything.
She was just some throw away girl
that nobody ever gave a second glance at.
Used like a door mat then tossed away when finished with.

She knew that was all she was.
She never tried to stop it.
She figured "At least she got some attention right?"
Even if it was toxic.
Even If it was just use and abuse.

She smiled on the outside,
made people laugh and made their days.
She was like the court jester to life's sadness.
It kept everyone at bay.
No one looked to closely at the smiling happy child.

No one saw the pain in her eyes silently screaming.
No one saw the marks covering her thighs.
NO one saw the tears at night
or heard the agonizes wails that only her pillow heard.

She just bit back her pain.
And went about her day.

Fenix Flight Apr 2016

Heres The Thing

Heres the thing

I broke down
And fell to pieces

But heres the thing

Im still here
Im still smiling

My heart is shattered
And the jagged pieces still hurt

But heres the thing

Im healing
The scar tissue is toughing

I still shed tears
I still long for old memories

But heres the thing

I can listen to our song
And its just a song to me now

We're never getting back together
This is the reality

And heres the thing....

Im finally ok with that

Fenix Flight Mar 2016

The Titanic Promise

Remember our promise

If you jump
I jump

But what happens

If I jump

Do you jump too?

Or do you get on
The nearest life boat
And leave me here to drown
All alone in this vast ocean

(This poem was inspired by two things.
One is the wuote "You Jump I Jump" from the movie titanic
The other was the promise my ex promised me when we saw the movie. He said that he would never give up on me me that he would follow me to the ends of the earth. Basically that if i jump he jumped...... He broke his promise)

Fenix Flight Feb 2016

Hope kills

Hope kills everything good inside
Clinging to me like silent death
Latching on and whispering in the back of my mind

Everytime im ready to move on
It drags up all the sweet memories
Pointing out the connection we had
Reminding me that the love was real

With its whipsers and illusions
I think to myself
Maybe theres another way
We were to strong to just disappear
We'll get throughr this we'll pull through

But days turn into weeks
Weeks drag on to months
Our four year anniversary passes by me dead
And I am suddenly brought back to reality
You're never coming back to me

And just like that I am heartbroken again
The pain as fresh as that first day
And everything good I built up inside
Withers and dies under hopes mocking laugh

Please please take away this hope
Because its killing me
And everything good inside

Fenix Flight Jan 2016

The demons playground

As night descends upon my world
I lay awake huddled in my bed
And my demons awake and start to play

Their poisons seeping through my veins
Their icy grip clawing through my mind

My eyes their telescope to the outside world
Weaving their dark magic and changing it to their own delusional perception

My ears their static filled radio
Catching only the darkest of
words

Their cruel voices whisper in my mind
Telling me the truths i knew in my heart all along

Their inky web holding me tight
As i cry into the starless night
Holding me promising me to never let me go.

But as the morning rays appear they scatter back into the depths
But not before they kiss me goodbye
With plans for the next sleepless time.

Fenix Flight Jan 2016

For You

Your plane is boarding, got to cross the ocean all alone
My heart is stone
You need to figure out the things that plague you here at home
I'll carry on

Sometimes, it's one thing
And next time, it's nothing
It's more than mistrusting
It ends up just crushing me

Stop with the fighting
I know it's the right thing
I won't let you do this
We have to get through this

So, say something, I'm not holding back
Before the scene we made goes and fades to black
‘cause I can't wait while you think this through
We don't have endless time, remember who left who
‘cause I won't wait, won't wait for you

Your lifeless eyes don't hold the
Same desire anymore, I can't ignore
So long I've wondered, but I think now I know
You're not coming home

Sometimes, it's one thing
And next time, it's nothing
It's more than mistrusting
It ends up just crushing me

Stop with the fighting
I know it's the right thing
I won't let you do this
We have to get through this

So, say something, I'm not holding back
Before the scene we made goes and fades to black
‘Cause I can't wait while you think this through
We don't have endless time, remember who left who
‘Cause I won't wait, won't wait for you

Put my heart in your hands
Committed my whole life to you
And all you had to say
See you in a few days
But days turn into months
This isn't what you promised me
I've gotta let you go
Or just find another way

So, say something, I'm not holding back
(I needed time to work it out alone)

THIS SONG IS BY ALL THAT REMAINS! All rights belong to them

(This is the song I dedicated to my ex Matt, It has helped me through this break up a lot)