People are always leaving
Leaving never staying
Walking out of my life
never to return again

friends I thought were there forever
Turned out to Be false hope
should have fought harder
Should have clinged a little tighter.

Family members I thought were golden
Faded away from sight
Words barely spoken
memories turned into dreams.

people are always leaving
leaving never staying
walking out of my life
never to return again

Sitting there quietly
trying to watch TV.
Flash Flash
lights going off outside.

what is that?
is someone playing with a Camera?

Open the front door
******* its a down pour!

Thunder crashing
Lightening streaking

Perfect Maine Summer night

Thunder rumbling
down to my bones
Shaking the house.

Lightening so bright
I could read by it
like candle light.

Rain roaring
droning in my ears
Like a soothing lullaby.

What a perfect
summer night.

Have you ever been sick of yourself?
Lay awake at night
staring at the ceiling.
Going over who you are as a person.

Have you ever just hated your life
Lay awake at night
Too hot out to sleep.
Wondering how it became this way.

I'm so sick of me,
and who I've become.

I cant stand who I am,
And what I've let my life
Fall into.

I
Hate
Me

Nine years ago I met you
You were in rough shape,
Strung out on *******,
A merc for Hire.

I was 12
you were 15.
Living your life in the shadows
hiding from the world.
The blazing sun could not reach you.

You were a monster
A deadly creature
Not to be messed with.

Living your life
On the wrong side of the Law.
A question that always plagues me
how the hell were you never caught?

I strode up to you
A fire in my hands
Reached out to you
And let the fire spread.

You are so much more
then you realize.
You mean so much
to so many people.

Me
Twittle
Kaityln
Arianna
Sophia!

and thats not all

Angel
Pop
Java
and
Mags!


We all love you!
in all your
"****** up" glory.

You may have been a bad person then
But now you are such a good man.
The way you raise those girls
the way you look at your beautiful wife.
The way you are always there for me.

You had a ****** 23 years of life
I wont argue that
I know whats in your past.

but Guess what?
its a new year
A fresh start.

Lets make 24 and on
Be filled with light
chase away those shadows.

Shadow man
Shadow Man
Come out and play
In the warm sun light.

She hurts
and she cries
but you cant see the depression in her eyes
Because she just smiles

She smiles at you
With big blue eyes shining
tell you
everything's fine,
everything's great

She smiles
but all she wants to do is cry
She pretends to be happy
But everything is crumbling inside

Every breath is a struggle
Every day is a war
and lately it seems like
she isnt winning it anymore.

But she puts on her smile
She forces out a carefree laugh
her upbeat perkyness.

But behind that smile
is a girl in pain
Behind that laugh
is a scream of sadness
Behind that perky
is depths of sorrow.

But
She hides it well
behind perfect
*smiles

At work
where I am nothing
but in the way
I dont fit in
Outcast.

At home
A place where I'm
nothing but a buden.
Third wheel
outcast.

At work
toyed with, looked down at
treated like a child.

At home.
Never good enough
Always saying the wrong thing.
Trying to fit into my family
that grew up without me.
It's to late in the game
For me to even try.

Tears spill out,
drama Queen
Over and over again
I am reminded that
This isnt where I am suppose to be.

I just want a place
To call my own.

I want a place
Somewhere To belong.