Fazurah: Favorites

Feb 2014 Fazurah

Rebekah Elizabeth

Sigh no more, for your breath would be wasted.
You had all the answers, or so you thought.
You brought us around and showed us off.
And here you are, telling everyone some made up lie!
You *******!
I have bruises to prove to the world what you did.
I kept all my tears to prove all the memories to be true.

But i have to admit I did enjoy the times when I did triumph.
Like the time when you hit my sister, your own daughter, in the ribs and
I came up behind you and hit you in the head with my baseball bat?
Oh, you were always so proud because I was a sure shot.
That was such a good memory!
P.S. I still have that bat.

But you know what just save your breath.
I always thought that I needed you, but now I don't.
Did you here me?!
I. Don't. *******. Need. You.
Just hold your breath and do the world a favor
and die... just stop.

In fact, why don't you just **** over and fall over.
Look I even dug you a nice little grave!
For every layer of dirt I throw on you,
I want you to remember all the lies you told.
And how much fun I am going to have as you fall from your thrown.
P.S. I hope you fall on a bed of nails...

When I am stomping on your grave
I want you to think about all the black and blue bruises that are on display to the world.
You killed that little girl that I should have been!
You killed all notions of her ever coming back!
P.S. I hate you because of that.

Do you understand that what you did to me is wrong?
I am your ******* daughter.
I was so young and frail...
You destroyed me!
But I must admit.
Every time you pushed me down, I did get back up.
You taught me how to stand up for my self.
P.S. I still hate you.

You do understand that the older I get, the more I have against you.
I am going to throw all kinds of **** your way.
I'm not going to stop until you snap in two, until you beg me to stop.
Not even I made that much noise when you hurt me...
******* Wimp

But you know what.... I really don't want any revenge.
I just want you to know that because of you :
I cry myself to sleep
I don't know love
But what you need to know that i am over what you did.

I just wanted to know :
Why?
I was your daughter.
Your first born.
I loved you, and i thought you loved me.
And to tell you the truth... I want you
Dead
Gone
Destroyed...

P.S. I still hate you

Love,
Your ex-daughter

Dedicated to my no good father.

Feb 2014 Fazurah

Tears of The Sky

Feb 2014 Fazurah

Adel

Tears of The Sky

He asked me why I fall in love with the rain
and I said,
I fall in love with the melodies of rainfall
that comes through like the waves
that are collapsed from the sky
and I fall in love with the rainfall
because it reminds me
that the blue sky can be weak and becoming pale
and it can cry hard enough, too.

Feb 2014 Fazurah

Anxiety

Feb 2014 Fazurah

Denise

Anxiety

when I say that people make me anxious
I don't mean it in an I don't like public speaking way
or in an I'm nervous around groups of people I don't know way
both of those are very true
but my anxiety encompasses more than that

it's when 3 times within an hour I texted my best friend, who had assured me 17 times previously that he loves me, and he didn't text back and the fear that he didn't love me anymore because I am too clingy became an all consuming ache in my stomach
it's when after spending ten hours talking with a girl who'd told me that she avoids people she doesn't like and saying 3 stupid things in those ten hours that I couldn't fall asleep for hours afterward, not because of the residual butterflies of our interaction but because the weight of my sheets was the weight of those 3 things and I was trapped as my mind fluttered over them, over and over them, I convinced myself that that beautiful person would never want to spend time with me again
it's when I spoke one poorly worded sentence in class and my face burned like a forest fire and for days I smelled smoke every time I thought about how much my classmates must abhor me for speaking at all
it's when I chewed the inside of my cheek to shreds while I didn't tell my brother that his misogynistic jokes weren't funny because I thought that criticizing his humor would remove me from the spot of favorite sister even though I'm his only sister
it's when I'm afraid that cutting my hair short will make me too gay for my mother to keep loving me despite the fact that drunk texting her on thanksgiving about a crush I have on a girl did not
it's when I don't wave at people first because when I do wave at people and they don't wave back I assume that they didn't wave back not because they didn't see me but because they don't like me
it's when my hands shook as I apologized to my doctor for being sick all the time
it's when I did't tell my therapist all of my problems because I don't want him to hate me for being so weak
if I were rain I'd apologize for falling because I apologize to everyone for everything that I am

people make me anxious because I love people and I want them to love me back
people make me anxious because I feel that I am too much and not enough
people don't make me anxious because of people, people make me anxious because of me

Feb 2014 Fazurah

Who Said That Love Was Fire?

Feb 2014 Fazurah

Patience Worth

Who Said That Love Was Fire?

Who said that love was fire?
I know that love is ash.
It is the thing which remains
When the fire is spent,
The holy essence of experience.

— The End —