if you’re not my partner in crime
how can i continue to fight
this illusion called life

and it’s concept of time
only trying to do what’s right
in a world
stricken with strife.

im the flower on the other side of the garden
the one that your neighbor forgets to trim and so weeds grow around me and
soon’ll choke me out of existence
all you do is feel sorry for me from your side

never mentioning my name..

i make sure to kiss my mother
every night
every morning and
twice more in between..
just so she could know it wasn’t her
fault that i
passed.

do you mind if i
trail my fingers along your collar
and slowly undo your bow tie
(being that it’ll take me a while).
i’ll attempt to be seductive being the nerd that i am
and you kinda just sigh
shake your head and roll your eyes
wondering why..
i bought the socks that are thigh-highs
that are irresistible to you
i don’t know why
but hey if it gets you going
i’ll give it a try.

.
and it seems like the only time
we speak our deepest thoughts
fears and
wonders..
is when one of us knows the other won’t remember
the next day..

i got home in hopes of hearing
your voice,
until i heard some lady in
your voicemail saying that you’re not available
stating your number real slow.

i got home and took a long *** nap
no one came till an hour ago
and i was ok, not in the greatest shape but yknow
i was relatively calm.

within a 2 min conversation w my father and mother
i feel like peeling my skin off my skull
and sautéing it on a pan.

i really just don’t have the brain energy to
make sense
but

whTs new amirite

keeping money is like vanity
my mother says with a cider beer in her left
as my father deals the poker chips.
texas hold ‘em, you ready?
he says brushing past my mothers routine complaints..

its useless- a waste..
i watch my mother eye the stack of bills from across the room
like seeing your friend tell the same joke for the third time waiting for your reaction,
everyone gets two cards and you can look at them
and get rid of the card you find the least valuable
he says

the tension in the room is unbearable like a thick cloud
so i sneak away
to avoid being asked my opinion.

i feel useless when
i’m you-less..
i can’t help however that she’s
the one he chooses.
when you kiss her and watch me
it cuts me and you know
you’re ruthless.
in the playing field of love
i’m always the one that loses..
and to think the cutest would be
the truest
but really just the most
clueless.