i had a dream about you last night.
you touched me endlessly,
and you told me stories about
the places you've been.

i don't think i will ever understand
how you could possibly tell me you love me,
and yet you left.

i don't think you will ever understand,
that i promised i would run away with you,
and yet you left.

her mind is twisted
almost as much
as the roots of
the tree in my backyard.

the tree that we named,
carved our names into,
and laid against.

the thing that i miss the most,
is the moment
that never even happened.

I can't ******* write
over all of this smoke.
I can't sing anymore,
because I've inhaled too much.

Your hands tried to undo the buttons on my plaid blouse,
and I couldn't help but sob.
I told you that I felt *****;
you shushed me,
and you held me close.

Blood rises to the surface of my flesh
whenever I'm cold.
Just like the heat blurs your windows
whenever you ****.

1.** Calloused hands reached out to intertwine with my own.
Once soft, baby hands,
were now nothing
but rough.
I can't say that it bothered me, though.

Especially whenever they were on my own flesh.

2. My favorite time to be with you
is on Sundays.
We lay in your bed,
forget the world,
and smell each others' skin.
I've found my own bed to become foreign.

3. I can't help but notice how much you remind
me of someone I don't know.
Every time I look at you,
it's like I'm staring into a face I don't even know.
Whenever your hands run though my hair,
I'm almost frightened.

Will you hurt me?
I'm starting to memorize you.

4. Whenever you first began to notice me,
I was obviously nervous.

And now that you love me,
I can't stop scratching my hands.

5. If you could,
would you give me the moon?
Or would you continue to
sit in your car,
and scream out
meaningless lyrics?

I can hear you laugh,
and I know you expect me to
place my chin in the hollow of your shoulder.
Today, I can't seem to bring my skin
to connect with yours.

Put the cigarettes down,
get in the ******* shower.

Don't ******* carry you into the shower,
and bathe you,
because I will if that's what you need.

I'm not going to sit here
and watch you
waste your life away, ok?

I'm going to try to help you no matter what.

I have absolutely
no inspiration
without you here.

**The end.

There's a boy in my band class.
He wears a white mask that covers his whole face,
with the exception of his mouth and eyes.

He watches every female that walks by
with open eyes
and a perverted mind.

He's scratching his head,
and all I can think about is feeling
his nails raking through my own hair.

Or his hands gliding all over my warm back.
****.

You told me that if I was going to hate myself... I had to hate you too. I couldn't do that. What did you mean?
-backspace

Hey! I can't get your smell out of my mouth. Your taste is in my nose. Oh wait.. that's backwards.
-backspace

You hate whenever I drink, so I just want you to know that I'm drunk.
-backspace

I just took 27 pills; I love you.
-SEND

I can't stop staring so you,
and I hope you don't mind.

- By the way, you're on mine.

He's writing down everything she's saying. I only wish he were writing down what I am thinking.
2. I seek comfort in your eyes, but I find pleasure in the way your lips move when you ask me for a pencil.
3. My long legs just want to entangle themselves in yours.
4. ****** ****. Ghetto *****. Plaid shirts. Blonde dye. Cheap perfume. Beautiful boy.
5. The 2 ordered pairs are you and me.
6. I want to run my hands through your hair. I want to place my mouth around those long, slender fingers.
7. My study guide is your angular face.
8. Numb as the spot on my bruised hand. Blue as the veins transporting blood. Wet as the spot between my legs.
9. As my fist connected with your jaw, I felt your jaw bones relax. My simple touch caused you to be calm. I find shelter in that.

I just want to have a picnic with something in the woods.
I just want to run my hands through your long, brown hair.
I just want to hear you call me, 'Kitten.'
I just want to be in your reach, again.

Maybe,
if I beg you to tell me you love me,
it'll all of a sudden become true.

You were a lullaby,
and I knew that you hurt.
You're a song
that is way
too low for
my range.

I tried to sneak out once.
My stair case warned my mother I was trying to leave.

I tried to get drunk once.
I didn't even get buzzed,
but I played along.

I tried to fall in love once.
You grabbed my hands,
and you held tight.
I didn't even feel anything.
but I played along.

I told him,
"If I could, I would gouge out my eyes,
so that you can see what I see.
I would rip out my heart,
so you could see who it really beats for."

He told me,
"If I could, I would chop off my hands,
so that you could touch heaven.
I would peel off my skin,
so you can be warm."

We traded our bodies,
and we learned where we stood.
I had the smell of his skin;
he had the beating of my heart.

She smelled of hate and abuse. I can recall her stringy, brown hair thrown across my pillow. Her mascara was finding its way down her ghost face, but she didn't even try to fight her tears. She was just as hollow as I was.
"How do you know me..?" she inquired. "I probably shouldn't have come with you. I'm sorry; I should be going." I turned my head at this, and I tried to hold back my own tears.
"It's me." I sobbed. Why had she forgotten about me so quick? Was I nothing but another **** to her? I remembered it all so vividly. Her bony body bouncing on my own.. Her beautiful lips, pressed so tightly together, while she rocked away.
She was my angel; she was my sanctuary.

With hands full of barbed wire,
I squeezed as hard as I could manage.
If anything,
I'd bleed to death.

A fate,
I could live with,
so undeniably horrid.

You frantically tried to clear out your backseat.
I sat there, staring at you.
Was I supposed to start?
I told you I was experienced with consoles.
- You told me my ******* were so pretty.

I'm bruised from your large hands crashing down on my backside.
You told me my ******* were so pretty.

To me,
you're the whisper I find in snow.
You're the emphasis on my "T's"  
You sing me stardust.
You scream me the sun.

Loving you is like trying to explain
dark burgundy of the wine you drink
to the blind.

Letting go of you was just as
easy as realizing my life
was ending from my own self termination.

"I love you so much,
and I'd rather die with you
then without you."

You put your prayers in my hands,
- but you leave your sins in my mouth.

Inside of my mind, you'll find a vast part of it is full of repressed memories of you.  I can remember the way your teeth would grab your bottom lip while saying the first letter of my name. Do you remember that time we were in your backyard, and you told me that everything would be okay?
Why did you have to tell me that? I didn't want everything to be okay.
  -We were supposed to be a **** up in a room full of perfections.

"If you look closer, you can see my scar. It's a tiny little indention on my right cheek. It's the most flawed thing about me," I told him.*

I was with my best friend, Samantha Jayne. It was her birthday party, and everyone was invited. You could call it a lot of things, but we just said it the best best birthday party ever.
We left school, and a limo pulled up. I swear every girl almost fainted. I tried to make my way next to Sam, but I knew this was her one chance to talk to the popular girls. So, I sat down in the back next to the school loser, Miranda.

The whole limo ride was awful, and I was hoping Sam would pay more attention to me as the night went on. We arrived at Sam's soon, and everyone stepped out of the limo. She was still next to the girls that wanted nothing to do with me.
As the night went on: we danced, sang, and ate.. a lot. Here's where the scar plays its part.

We were all dancing. Almost 40 girls were crammed into one small shed. I was having the time of my life. That was until the lights wen out. I t was all right. We had the strobe lights.
I went to go sit down, and a huge girl bumped right into me. I tried to move out of her way, but she just wouldn't quit dancing. I remember her turning around, and I saw a flash of metal on her teeth. She dove straight for my face with hers, and her braces came clawing through my cheek. Blood instantly began pouring down my face.

*He looked at me, concerned, and said, "Faith, you're beautiful. One tiny scar won't make any difference to me. We could say my baseball hit you. We could say you tried to kiss me, and you fell."
I laughed, and I ran my hands through his brown, curly hair.
"Hey, I love you forever, ok?" I said.
"Forever. It'll always be you and me, girl. Just you and me."

I hope you're having a good day. I am. I'm going to take a nap.**

How many times do I have to beg you to talk to me.
To show an ounce of something
that could be taken
as affection.

She wants to be ******.
- but not in the way you're willing.
She wants you to take the time to learn
every ******* curve
of her lips.

I could call you Sir until the day you were dead,
- but would you notice how my lips moved whenever I said it?

I could bring my hands to rest upon your lap,
- but would you notice how my fingers curl up?

I could say goodbye,
- but I'd never notice how you wouldn't care.

It's the times like right now that leave me wanting more.
I know you're leaving,
- so I cling onto the thought that you don't even exist.

Maybe I made you up,
just as I did with her.
You're nothing to me.

You told me that you'd feel guilt
- but I can feel your words against my skin right now.
I can feel absolutely everything you've ever promised me,
being ripped out of my smile.

I puff out the poison,
and I inhale the smoke.

I think I am screaming,
yet let out a croak.

I can remember the way the sunlight bounced off of you hands.
I wanted to believe you controlled the world.
You were my God.

He kisses my lips,
and he ***** my soul.
"There's no one else here," he tells me.

He holds my hands,
and he abuses my heart.
"Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me." I beg.

Riding in the car brings back so many old memories.
When the car hits a bump all I can think of is your body writhing under me.

As we turn the corner,
I remember the endless curves on your body.

When we get out of the car,
I can almost feel your arms reaching for me to come back to you.

I caught you staring at my hands the other day.
I don't know if I should be happy or sad about it.
You could have been thinking about how they used to play with your hair,
or maybe the fact that they broke your bones.

You gave me a topic,
and you told me to go from there.
If only you knew what I thought of whenever you said 'legs.'

How can I possibly go from here,
whenever legs take me back to there?
If only you knew what I thought of whenever you said 'legs.'

It's 7:14.
Seven plus seven is fourteen.
Why do I notice the little things like this?

They drive me insane,
but I'm constantly finding them.
You used to do the same thing.

Her face is strong,
but her hands are giving way.
She refuses to cry towards me.

I can hear  her yelling out to me. She's inviting me to come closer, to fall into her trap. She's got the eyes of the devil, and the lips of an angel.
She tries to find ways to entrap my body; to really get under my skin. Her hair falls in brown curls down her spiny back. Her bony hands reach up to hold my own, and I'm stuck.
I'm stuck between two worlds. I can't find out what is reality and what is made up. My mind is set on the girl in my mirror. Her red lips gnawing my neck. Her fragile legs around my waist.
She's screaming my name. Mine! She's pulling my own curly, brown mane. She's locking those beautiful lips onto me own.
I blink, and she's off of me. I look at my mirror, hoping she's staring back at me. All I can see is her from behind. She's turned her back on me, and I'm desperate to know why. I reach my hand out to her, but all I can feel is solid glass.
She turns, a smile tugging on her lips, and vanishes.