This is how I love. I barter what I own and exchange it for your happiness, hoping it's enough to make you full.
The worst part about having mental health issues is that you're seemingly required to have a breakdown in order for people to understand how hard you were trying to hold yourself together.
...I was a child. I didn't need to be strong,
I needed to be safe.
I don't want to see stores looted or even buildings burn. But African Americans have been living in a burning building for many years, choking on the smoke as the flames burn closer and closer. Racism in America is like dust in the air. It seems invisible - even if you're choking on it -until you let the sun in. Then you see it's everywhere. As long as we keep shining that light, we have a chance of cleaning it wherever it lands. But we have to stay vigilant because it's always still in the air.
I want your kiss, upon my lips
I want your hand, gripping my wrist
I want your heart, beaten apart
So you can feel how you left my soul down to rot.'
And with each tear
that crossed my face,
the person I once was
slowly washed away.
you are silent about your pain, they'll **** you and say you enjoyed it.
'..I did it because I know that revenge is a meal we prepare for someone else...
..and somehow the chef always ends up starving..'
"is the drunk guy at the party who tries to fight everyone.
America says nothing and pretends they didn't ride in the same car."
when you have a persistent sense of heartbreak and gut-wrench, the physical sensations become intolerable and you will do anything to make those feelings disappear. And that is really the origin of what happens in human pathology. People take drugs to make it disappear, and they cut themselves to make it disappear, and they starve themselves to make it disappear, and they have *** with anyone who comes along to make it disappear, and once you have these horrible sensations in your body, you'll do anything to make it go away.'
The same boiling water that softens the potato hardens the egg. It's about what you're made of, not the circumstances.
#currently in quarantine with a box of potatoes
She loved him the same way that she learned how to ride a bike.
is like a sandwich: no matter which way you flip it, the bread comes first.
The version of me you created in your mind is not my responsibility.
The thing about masks is that someone always sees the string behind your head.
Being a survivor of emotional abuse is fighting daily battles in your head with a person you no longer have contact with.
#Mental abuse is much more painful than physical abuse because you are consumed by your own thoughts. I think that after being hurt so many times I created a shield where I don't allow anyone to get close to me. I love being friends with people and I enjoy having friends. But, to be close friends with someone for a lifetime and to share each other's secrets, wants, needs, etc. sounds like a complete nightmare. If I had one wish that could be granted it would be for me to have never been born. My ultimate wish is for the all the people who have met me to unmeet me. Then I wouldn't be such a burden on anyone. I no longer wish to die, I wish to have never been born. If I had the power to turn back everything I would give my parents a better child and give my friends a better person.
...and long after I have given up,
my heart still searches for you
without my permission...
'We are the daughters of men who warned us about the news, and the missing girls on milk cartons and the sharp edge of the world.
They begged us to be careful, to be safe, and then told our brothers to go out and play.'
You wanna how I got these scars?
I ripped every last piece of you out of my smile
'Suicide is the only thing, you can control in your life.
And that's why it's considered a sin.
Because you're beating God
At his own game.'
The fear of trusting someone.
We raise our boys the same way we raise our guns.
Somehow we are confused when they grow up to be rifles.
Some say don't burn your bridges.
I say, if necessary, let the kerosene kiss it on the lips & watch it turn to ash.
There's always more than one way to cross the water.
"When she broke your heart, did she also CRACK your spine so you would always fall in her direction?"
I always feel like I'm second best when it comes to friends. Like I always feel like I'm not as fun or outgoing to be around.
She wasn't even asking for happiness, she was just asking for a little less pain. But, you couldn't even give her that?
She felt like crying but nothing came out. It was just a sort of sad sicknees, sick sad, when you can't feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. But I think I have known it pretty often, too often.
Some people aren't good at asking for help, they're so used to being 'the helper.' Throughout their life they've experienced an unbalance give and take, so their instinct is usually "I'll figure it out on my own". The self-reliance is all they've ever known.
I'm learning to love the sound of my feet walking away from things not meant for me.
We take secrets to our graves that are no big deal to anyone but ourselves.
is how souls learn to ignite fire.
Eye contact can be the source of how souls catch fire. It'll either be in burning passion, or chard remains of an inevitable defeat.
And just like that, I realized that my old scars never truly healed,
because they bled again at a single word.
In maths: an equation
In chemistry: a reaction
In history: a war
In geography: a place
In life: everything
I like doggies
they are tasty
She greatly disliked emotion, not because she felt lightly, but because she felt deeply.
Sometimes I wish that things could get really bad, so I have a reason to **** myself.
Sometimes I wish that nobody cared for me so that I could **** myself without feeling guilty.
And sometimes I wish that I wasn't this type of person, but I am.
I really am a bad person...
'-And if it did,
that didn't happen.
because it wasn't that bad,
and you're just overreacting
it's not a big deal
and if it was,
it's not my fault
and if it is,
I didn't mean it
and if I did mean it,
you made me do it.
It's your fault, not mine,
I'm the victim here,
and it's going to stay that way.'
I'm walking on a tightrope that's between giving up and seeing how much more I can take.
-trust a man that tries to destroy you when he's mad.
"is just a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptionally well."
Someone once told me that: "Only the people who care about you are the ones who can hear you when you're quiet."
Everyone speaks a silent language and it's rare to find someone who speaks yours.....
Have you ever gotten in a fight with someone because you told them what was bothering you and instead of them apologizing they find a way to make you feel bad about it so you are left regretting even saying anything?
#"an apology without changed behavior is just manipulation...
will prove who someone is
whereas words merely prove who they pretend to be.
It's no longer "new year, new me"
Instead, it's "new year, slightly improved and better me"
is not to dwell on what went wrong in 2019
#Happy new year everybody!
I have days where I don't even feel like speaking.
I ruined so many things (for myself and those around me) that could've been amazing because I was sad.
Slowly learning that sometimes you have to make peace with the fact that you are the villain in someone else's story even if you thought you were doing the right thing. You don't get to tell them how to narrate their experience....
Stuck between overemotional and emotionless at the same time.
When I was little I cried about one thing that hurt me.
Now that I'm older, when I cry, I cry about everything that hurt me and it's never one thing.