A Darkness in My Soul

F J McCarthy on May 29, 2009
Inspired by a line in Don Mclean’s song “Vincent”.





It seems to me there is a place that lingers in my mind.

A dark and dreadful kind of space, that I dare not try to find.

Emotions I have kept inside, dredged from a deep dark hole.

I can’t escape, I cannot hide, from the darkness in my soul.

Like a mongrel dog it follows,always close at hand.

Beware it’s rabid bite,it will consume you if it can.

Violent angry hateful place, filled with darkness and despair.

It tears at you to take control destroyer without care.

I cannot run away from this, it is there just out of sight

Lurking like an an ambusher, to cut me in the night.

I wish that I could find the light, to somehow make me whole.

Til then I wage my private war, with the darkness in my soul.

A Simple Man
F J McCarthy on Jul 15, 2009


I am a simple man.

I have traveled near and far.

I have what I need and that’s not much.

For I am a simple man.

When I write a poem it comes from my heart.

Don’t check my grammar or tear it apart.

The meaning is given in plain sight you see.

A simple poet, That’s me.

The words that I use they are small.

But I understand them all.

I write of my life,

My kids and my wife.

For I am a simple man.

Beautiful Muse
F J McCarthy on Feb 13, 2009


You are my beautiful muse.
You fill my mind with bliss.
I long to hear your lovely voice.
Through lips I long to kiss.
Your eyes of crystal green.
So bright. they are ablaze.
They look into my aching heart.
And heal me with their gaze.
The words you whisper softly.
Of the two of us as one.
The thought this does inspire
More brilliant than the sun.
To swim inside your ocean
To lie upon your beach
To hold you close each day and night.
yet you stay just out of reach.
My love for you keeps growing,
Like a dream to me you are.
Inspiration just starts flowing.
From you my brightest star.
Then when I get downhearted,
and can not shake these blues,
You shower me with love.
My lovely, beautiful muse.

Beauty
F J McCarthy on Jan 11, 2009


I saw Beauty walking.
The sun gleaming in her hair.
I heard Beauty talking.
In a voice so soft and fair.
Her eyes a crystal green.
That sparkle like the sea.
And when she smiles, I dream.
That her smiles are just for me.

Cardboard Box
F J McCarthy on Jun 10, 2009


Starring across a sea of souls

I cannot fathom how vast.

Still I feel so very lonely.

As though I am the last.

Walking through the city streets

Being pushed from all their mass.

Never once though do our eyes meet

No recognition as they pass.

Life it seems will run it’s course

So many rivers fed by streams.

The old man living in a cardboard box

Was a child once, filled with dreams.

So quickly life can pass us by,

Take a moment just to think.

The possessions that we hold so dear

All we know gone in a blink

So please my friend look me in the eye

I was once a child ,it’s true

Just say hello as you pass me by.

That is all I ask of you.

Childhood Lessons

F J McCarthy on Jul 17, 2009


We learn to crawl we learn to walk.

We learn to run we learn to talk.

We learn to take we learn to give

How do we learn the way to live.

We teach our kids what’s wrong and right.

We teach our young to stand and fight

We want them to be strong and brave.

We tell them just how to behave.

We learn to work to earn our pay

We learn that’s how we make our way.

Then something happens along that road.

To many bumps on our moral code.

We learn to cheat we learn to lie.

We teach ourselves to justify.

We know whats wrong and still we do it.

At least we beat the other guy to it.

The things we tell our children no.

Become Ok for us to do.

We learn such lessons and call it life.

Say this is how you deal with strife.

Innocence of youth now long forgot.

Pushed aside by life’s dreadnaught.

There is still hope though, if you care to see.

In our childrens hearts still pure and free.

Childhood lessons to learn again.

Remember the children, and dream my friend.

Creation Haiku
F J McCarthy on Jul 28, 2009


A single cell splits

the universe has meaning

Gods plan, or just luck?

Deeply My Love
F J McCarthy on Feb 9, 2009


The words come much to fast.
My love for you is infinite,
All futures and all pasts.
My love it has no limits.
That time or space can hold.
A brightly burning sun.
When the universe was cold
When stars were born into the sky,
To shine throughout the night
And when they fade away and die,
My love will be the light.
Always with you my darling,forever I would stay
No deeper love I’ll ever know ,Then this love I feel today…

Dragons
F J McCarthy on Jan 8, 2009


On wings of gold and silver.
To heights unknown to man.
Of legends to deliver,
The dragon is at hand.
With fore-claw and with talon,
With teeth and flaring breath.
The enemies of Dragon-kind.
Consumed in fiery death.
The fear and persecution,
To **** this noble beast.
Never was the invitation,
“Oh Dragon, join our feast”.
It seemed they’d  fly forever,
Above the land and sea.
Yet their fate had been decided,
And who the hell are we!
Now dragons are no more.

Dreaming
F J McCarthy on Jan 27, 2010


I am drifting around in my dreams.

With visions of you by my side.

How beautiful everything seems.

I wish to never get off of this ride.

We float hand in hand through the clouds.

We kiss and the sunlight shine through.

Flying high up above all the crowds.

I could stay here forever with you.

Then suddenly I here the bells.

As the alarm clock ends my dream.

Tears me from this wondrous place.

It just makes me want to scream.

I toss and turn and open up my eyes.

Try to wake my fuzzy head.

That’s when I laugh when I realize.

It’s you beside me in my bed.

I hear the patter of little feet.

Then the kids burst through the door

I watch as you pretend to sleep.

Like a thousand times before.

So please tell me am I still dreaming?

When I wake you with a kiss.

Me and you and our little ones.

I always dreamed it would be like this.

Empty Inside

F J McCarthy on Jun 17, 2009


Empty, hollow, nothing left.
The way I feel inside.
No substance there I am bereft.
With nothing left to hide.
Barren,stark, like windblown sand.
No purchase to be found.
Tossed about like a tumble ****.
This world has worn me down.
Dried out ,hardened,like a stone.
I’m ready for the fire.
Burn me up till I am gone.
My soul can now retire.

Excalibur
F J McCarthy on Jan 5, 2009


Forged in the dragons breath.
Sharpened on it’s scales.
The sword that made the legends,
told in many tales.

Of bloodshed and of battle.
Of heroes brave and bold.
The sword of shining metal.
The powers yet to hold.

Tales of Arthur, Knight and King,
and how he wields the sword.
Of noble knights all in a ring.
With Arthur as their Lord.

Of magic and deception,
to win at any cost.
With Modred and his evil.,
and how the sword was lost.

Yet time will come again,
when magic starts to stir.
When out of mist it rises.
The sword “Excalibur”!

Far Away Love
F J McCarthy on Jan 15, 2009


I have never loved someone,
as much as I love you.
And though you cannot see me now.
Someday I hope you do.
And if we never join as one.
If that’s what Heaven deems.
I’ll cherish all my memories,
and love you in my dreams.

First Love
F J McCarthy on Jan 4, 2009


If there were a flower?
Your beauty to compare.
It would be a rose.
So lovely and so fair.
Yet a rose is just a flower.
My love, it can’t receive.
It can only wilt and die.
As though a fallen leaf.
Be my rose, my fallen leaf.
But never wilt or die.
And to you I’ll give my love.
Til in my grave I lie.

Fishy Haiku
F J McCarthy on Sep 8, 2009


Swimming in the sea.

Through day and night, calm and storm

Swimming endlessly.

The sand drenched in blood, sword arm aches.
Yet another foe approaches,soon he to shall die.
I am the gladiator, battle is my home.
Pain is for the weak, I feel it not
Cut off my limb I shall grow another.
For I am everlasting,I am immortaL
Cry no tears for me, I am the hunter.
The one you fear and dare not speak my name.
Come and vanquish me if you dare
I WAIT FOR MY END

Goodbye and Good Riddance
F J McCarthy on May 28, 2009


Conversations play inside my head,

Remembering every word you said.

Wishing now the words I see so clear,

Could have been said when you were here.

Feeling regret since you have gone,

I will never forget what you have done.

Angry words seem to burn so deep,

Replaying in my dreams,I’m losing sleep

Now you’re gone and our love is through.

You are done with me,and I’m done with you.

Goodbye Dad. Please be at Peace
F J McCarthy on Jun 16, 2010


My father, John McCarthy Sr. passed away this morning,at 1230 am June 16 2010. this is my attempt to honor his memory.





This morning I got the news.

That you had passed in the night.

The first thing that i thought  of,

Will mom be alright?

It really hasn’t hit me

,the fact that you are gone.

Through thick and thin you’ve been there.

Yet now that time is done.

I pray that you have found the peace,

That life could no longer bring.

An end to all your pain filled nights ,

and days of suffering.

I hope that God has held you close ,

and eased your troubled heart.

When you look down from that place on high,

Know this Dad, we will never be apart.

You are a part of me ,

and you flow in the veins of my sons.

The life that you lived may be over,

yet your legacy shall never be done.

I Am the Wind, You are the Sea
F J McCarthy on Feb 24, 2009

I am the wind , I drift across the world constantly moving.
You are the sea, you carry life inside of you ,maternal and loving.
I sail above the beauty that is you, I long to wake you from your calm slumber.
To draw you up to heights unknown and merge with your cool waters.
Yet you resist my tender strokes,you splash waves against me ..
I buffet your calm waters until they are churning and swirling.
Finally we become one,we are the cyclone, the hurricane,
Unstoppable force of nature. Together we become greatness.
Slowly we come to earth where we must part once more.
For I am the wind and you are the sea.

I Burn for You
F J McCarthy on Feb 4, 2009


I am on fire for you , my body burns from it.
The heat radiates out, turning my breath to flame.
I run along the beach with thoughts of you in my head.
Looking back at the glass footprints smoking behind me.
You come to me and my clothes burst and flash into nothing.
I stand naked before you, engulfed in flame which you fuel.
We collide with such passion that stars are born in our wake.
And when we are through, our love making lights a thousand worlds.
I am a meteor crashing into the sun , to burn with you forever…

Ice and Flame
F J McCarthy on May 24, 2009



Cold blue eyes, like frozen sky.

Reflections of a heart untouched by love.

Standing in your crystal tower alone.

Overlooking the frozen tundra that is your life.

Stark white world that you live in.

Untouched by color,pure and clean as snow capped mountains.

You are unreachable in your solitude,at peace with your cold emotionless world.

Yet I know better than that, like a sparrow crying in a hurricane your soul calls to me.

So faint your plea that you do not hear it yourself,”Come to Me”

I am coming my love to break your icy tower and release you with my love.

Riding through the blizzard that protects you, beating down your frozen walls.

To your tower I climb ,to find you in icy slumber.

Like liquid silver your body moves,breathing crystals from your icy lips.

Awake my love, feel the heat that I bring to you,I am the flame to melt your frigid heart.

You try to run but your world melts before your eyes. You feel the heat I bring.

I move closer to you and our lips meet,the steam arises from our contact.

Cold frozen glaciers melt into warm tropical seas as I kiss heat all over your body.

I draw you out of your frozen shell,casting it aside to feel the warmth inside you grow.

The blush of your skin as your blood turns hot, a flame to match my own.

We have become one, Ice and flame no more, we are the sun,burning brightly with our heat.

Below us hot burning sand to tell of our *******,free at last our passion burns. til eternity ends

Jake the Snake
F J McCarthy on Jan 9, 2009


Jake was a snake, who felt incomplete.
For all of his friends all seemed to have feet.
Jake had no feet and it made him so sad,
As he watched his friends run with the feet they all had.
The raccoon and the squirrel had big furry tails,
But all that Jake had were leathery scales.
Jake watched the birds flying up in the sky.
How wonderful indeed to know how to fly.
Jake watched the fish as they swam in the lake.
Swimming was one thing that was easy for Jake.
Sometimes he would swim, then lie in the sands.
He’d think how he’d look with feet or with hands.
One day he was laying in the sun on the sand.
When he heard such a noise he could not understand.
I must see what is wrong , Jake said with a frown.
For something is troubling the whole Forest town.
He saw all of his friends by the rocks on the hill.
Then he saw mother Robin and she looked very ill.
He asked his friend Mr. Rabbit why Mother Robin was crying?
“Her baby fell out of the nest while she was out flying”.
“How is the baby, was he hurt by the fall.?”
“the baby is fine, but he’s trapped in this wall”.
Jake studied the wall,and looked at the crack.
“Has anyone tried to get baby bird back?”
The chipmunk and squirrel said the crack was to small.
And not even the mole could dig through that wall.
Mr. Field-mouse said “I could fit through the crack.
But the bottom is deep. How would I get back?”
Then Jake started thinking and in the blink of an eye.
“I’m the thinnest of all so I’m going to try.”
Jake asked Mr. Raccoon to lend him a hand.
They climbed up the wall and Jake told him his plan.
Mr. Raccoon held Jake’s tail and lowered Jake down the hole.
Just then baby bird let out a wail, for Jake had found his goal.
“Climb on my neck ” Jake said to the bird “and hold on really tight.”
Raccoon pulled them up as the whole forest watched this wonderful Marvelous sight.
First came up baby and afterwards Jake.
Then everyone cheered what a wonderful snake.
He’s saved baby bird and everyone knew it.
Of all the forest animals only he could do it.
The chipmunk and squirrel and even the mole.
Had not a hope to get down that hole.
Yet Jake with his body so long and so thin.
Saved baby bird from the fix he was in.
Jake felt so happy, he didn’t need feet.
Or a big furry tail to make him complete.
“I am very complete”cried Jake. “I’m so happy to be just a snake.”
Then baby bird said in a voice rather small.
“Don’t make that mistake, your not just a snake.
Your my friend and a hero, your Jake the Snake.
The very best snake of all!

Love Should Not Hurt

F J McCarthy on Jan 25, 2009


I always thought that’s the way, it’s supposed to be.
Love lasts forever,until the day you die.
Love makes you happy, it never makes you cry.
The love that we made when fresh as morning dew,
Was the way I Thought true love should be,with you.
No-one ever told me,how could I ever know.
That the love you said you had for me was only just a show.
Taking all that I could give, yet giving little back.
You have cut my heart more deeply, than any heart attack.
The coldness that you show to me ,I’m so easy to dismiss.
Is so far from the heat I felt the first time we did kiss.
Tossed aside like garbage, thrown down in the dirt.
Didn’t any one tell you, Love's not supposed to hurt…

Meeting Lisa

F J McCarthy on Jan 8, 2009

I wrote this to my girlfriend, now my wife. She must have liked it, she still married me.

My heart was a deep dark well,
And at the bottom only sand.
Then you came, and I could tell,
That my love could flood the land.
Jealous was the morning sun,
When he saw you through my eyes.
For then he knew, the love in you.
Could brighten midnight skies.
Fields of roses, perfect all,
Could not bear to show it.
For in thier midst,you’d pale them all.
And the world would always know it.

Naked Haiku

F J McCarthy on May 14, 2009

A humorous Haiku.



Running naked free

Across the golden cornfields

Stumble could be bad

Nights Children
F J McCarthy on Jan 4, 2009


The suns glory has faded into night .
Born again are the children .
They walk the streets, just out of sight.
Who among us knows their pain .
Images born in legends of bygone days.
The hunger so strong in each of them.
Mythical beings born from twilight’s haze.
Who knows from whence they truly came.
Long have they walked with man.
These nocturnal hunting beasts.
Yet no one seems to understand,
Their ****** nightly feasts.
As dawn approaches, their hunger stilled.
They find they must retire.
To dream of all the blood they have spilled.
Such is the life, Vampire!

One Kiss
F J McCarthy on Oct 27, 2009



Every time before I leave please kiss me.

Let me know with your sweet lips you’ll miss me.

Kiss me when I’m tired and feeling low.

Kiss me and my troubles all will go.

I did not know what magic you could weave.

A kiss from you I have no strength to leave.

All of love rolled up in just one kiss.

Eternity I’d linger in this bliss.

Passion
F J McCarthy on Feb 20, 20o9

You don’t even know it,
you haven’t got a clue.
The passion that you stir in me,
whenever I”m with you.
The way you move your body,
the fire in your eyes.
It sets my heart to thumping
My temperature to rise.
And when I kiss your lips,
It’s more then I can bear.
I long to touch your body,
Run my fingers through your hair.
To pick you up and carry you,
To a bed of soft desire
Take you from a burning candle
To a roaring , raging fire.
Making love to every inch of you.
As our bodies join as one.
Take you to  heights of ecstasy,
Till your blazing like the sun.
And when this night is over ,
and we lie there in our bliss
I will swear my love forever,
And seal it with a kiss.

Pickle Haiku

F J McCarthy on Jul 17, 2009


Green fresh cucumber

Drowning in spiced vinegar

Reborn a pickle

Poetry

F J McCarthy on Aug 9, 2010
What poetry means to me.


Poetry is the music that plays in my head,it is the beat  of my heart when I see beauty.

Poetry is two lovers walking hand in hand completely alone as the world rushes by.

The wind in the trees ,a bird in flight, a childs first step,these are poetry.

Tears of joy at a loved ones safe return, the birth of a child.

Every day of our lives are filled with poetry.

If we are lucky we can somehow translate the love and the sorrow, the joy and the pain,into words.

Words that stir our emotions, words that make us happy or sad, that bring tears to our eyes.

Sometimes raw and unpolished,sometimes beautifully balanced and flowing.

Words not to be judged as right or wrong,just to be read and perhaps to be felt.

We call those words poetry, I call them my heart, my soul, and all the things I long for.

All my hopes and my fears locked within the pages of my poetry, just waiting to be found and set free.

She Smiled
F J McCarthy on Jul 15, 2009


She smiled, and the world just slipped away.
In her eyes I saw saw eternity today.
Forever in a moment the two of us this way.
She smiled and I lost my heart that day.
She speaks, and Angels gather near.
Like music, her voice a melody to hear.
So sweet and pure, like Heaven in each word.
She speaks, the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard.
When she kissed me, I knew she felt it too.
We found each other,no other one would do.
Years fly and we both grown old and gray.
But when she smiles, the world…still slips away.

Sirens
F J McCarthy on Jan 11, 2009





I have heard the Siren’s call.
And it filled my heart with joy.
Yet after came the fall.
For my love she would destroy.
The call so sweet around me.
It filled my very being.
Yet little did I realize.
It prevented me from seeing
Deception in a woman’s guise.
So beautiful yet flawed.
She sang to me her lovely lies.
Her songs had left me awed.
Doomed was I by the Siren’s call.
Always longing to be free.
Only you knew how to end it all.
When you gave true love to me.

Softly Given This Heart to You
F J McCarthy on Jan 24, 2010


A quiet night,the two of us,the lights are turned down low.

The music plays ,the song we know,we dance so very slow.

You look at me,so beautiful ,a word was never said.

I kiss your lips, you take my hand and lead me to your bed.

We share our love for the first time,our bodies become one.

We linger in sweet ecstasy, until the morning sun.

I feel desire grow ,as sunlight plays across your skin,

With kisses and caresses we make sweet love again.

So pure and true our first night together,our love was so brand new.

You had always been my love love, so softly given this heart to you.

Spiderweb Dancer
F J McCarthy on Jan 18, 2009


Dancing lightly on the air she weaves her silver thread.
With natures pure perfection, no hesitation in her tread.
She dances to and fro, on her lovely silken net.
Eight legged ballerina, whose dance you won’t forget.
The spins and twists and turns, they seem to draw you in.
She beckons you come closer, I’ll take you for a spin.
So beautiful she dances, what harm could come of this?
One dance, a chance perhaps , to steal a little kiss.
You fly without regret, to late to realize.
The dancer you won’t forget, has changed before your eyes.
Trapped by her seduction , she dances round and round.
Encasing you in silver lies, soon never to be found.
So as you lie there helpless, she feeds on your cocoon.
Then wait for her next dance partner,  who’s flying in real soon.

Storms
F J McCarthy on Jan 6, 2009


The thunder and the lightning.
Dark clouds in many forms.
The thunderclap, so frightening.
Yet still I love the storms.
The wind whips through the branches,
and bends the mighty trees.
The lightning bolt that breaks them,
Somehow this seems to please.
The rain across my face.
That soaks me through and through.
While others search for a dryer place,
Thats something I wont do.
Some think that I am strange.
For taking such delight.
But I really love a raging storm.
Especially at night.

Tears I Have Cried
F J McCarthy on Feb 28, 2009


I have been happy , I have been sad.
I have seen things so joyous they made my heart glad.
I have had my heart broken more than once through the years.
I could fill up an ocean with all of the tears.
Some tears of sorrow, some tears of joy.
A death of a friend ,the birth of my boy.
The pain I have cause, the guilt I still feel.
I can’t change the past, but it saddens me still.
The people Ive trusted and those that have lied.
They’ll never know the tears I have cried.

The Air
F J McCarthy on Jul 23, 2009






Take a breath and let your imagination wander.

Think about the air inside your chest.

Was this the air that they breathed before the ship went under.

Or the last breath of a hero before he laid to rest.

The air has said I love you,over land and sea.

How many times did it say I love you too.

The air has been in those that fought to make us free

Is that the air you have inside of you.

Great people with great speeches that taught us right from wrong.

They breathed the same air, that we take in everyday.

The poets and the scholars,the ones who sing your favourite song,

The air inside of me,is the air inside of you,is the air inside our children when they play.

So take another breath and slowly ponder.

Are we really that much differrent you and I?

When you think about the air it’s just a  wonder.

Could this be from my baby’s new born cry?

Now let your breath go out, to go find somebody new.

Let it float above the oceans, let it soar where eagles fly.

Let it say a prayer to God above,with hopes it will come true.

When it fill the lungs of a stranger may it lift his spirit high.

The Anger Inside Me

F J McCarthy on Feb 12, 2009


Where does it come from, this anger inside.

It washes over me like a tidal wave.

Makes me feel like a caged beast.

Ready to strike from out of my cave.

Try to control it can get so hard.

When people are pushy and mean.

Sometime I feel I could rip off their heads.

reach down their throats and rip out their spleen.

I feel like something has taken me

and nothing can calm me down

I look for my antagonist, there’s no-one here  but me.

So I scream yet I can’t hear a sound.

Inside I boil from this rage.

That Just comes to me like the wind.

So I hammer my anger onto this page.

Til my sanity comes again.

So long have I searched, on high and below.
Yet the truth that I seek does elude me.
I hear hints of it's laughter as the blackbird does crow.
In the whispers she sends to delude me.

Is my ego that frail to be bought by her voice.
When the words are said strickly to please.
Am I just her toy puppet without any choice.
So easily brought to my knees?

**** you truth come and show me what's real.
I have waited as long as I might.
Shatter the mirrors and take down the veil.
I'm no longer afraid of the light.

The blinders are off and my soul is laid bare.
Judge me for all that you see.
The elusive truth is finally here'
With the knowledge to set my soul free.

Look in the mirror and know who you are.
Except all of your faults as they be.
You are a being as bright as a star
With a soul as deep as the sea.

Yes you are the one, you have finally seen.
That the truth was inside you so long.
And where ever you go ,or wherever you've been.
You decide what is right and what's wrong.

The Letter

F J McCarthy on Apr 24, 2010

This kind of sung in my head like a country song,I hope you like it.





I looked at the letter,turned yellow with time the paper so fragile and old.

I couldn’t hold back the tears as I read every line, the words  made me lose my control.

From the date on the top it was twenty years old, I  would have been about ten.

That was the year that my father passed , and this letter ,I knew was from him.

It said “Son I just don’t know how to tell you, you’re so young and you might not believe.

The doctors you see, have found something in me ,and they don’t give me much longer to live.

I don’t think it’s fair,to take me from you when there’s so many things left undone.

Who will teach you ’bout life,how to drive your first car,I thought I would be the one.

So I wrote you this letter,so someday you will know, that your daddy didn’t want to go.

I am missing you now as I write down these words,missing the boy and watching him grow.

Missing the boy becoming a man, and all of the things you will do.

But I’m telling you son as the years roll on by I will always be watching over you.

So take care of your mama and make daddy proud, be a good boy and good man

I love you so much, and I’m telling you son I would be there if I can.

So please don’t be sad cause I had to go, and one more thing I have to say.

God has his plan, for this simple man, and I’ll see you in Heaven some day.

The Pitfalls and the Pebbles
F J McCarthy on May 3, 2009


Wandering through life,uncertain of my path.

Just stumbling my way across this world.

Wanting to be more than what I am.

Just not sure how to get there.

So many bumps along the way.

I trip and fall and bleed,but still I’m here.

Does this road have an ending?

A goal that I can reach and call my own.

Like a blind man in the forest, I just keep walking.

Hope against hope, I will see the light.

So long on this journey beaten ,pushed ,passed by.

Others on this road moving so fast they barely notice me.

Perhaps around the next bend my goal will come in sight.

The reason I have come so far will be clear.

Til then I just keep walking, watching for the pitfalls and the pebbles.

It seems they both can make you fall.

The Rain
F J McCarthy on Jan 21, 2009


My friends and neighbors think it’s strange, the times I chose to walk.
I go out late when it’s dark, and hardly ever talk.
I walk for miles without a goal, not going any place.
I come home , pass out on my couch and drift out into space.
I never walk on sunny days,  the world is just too bright.
I like it when it rains, especially at night.
At night no one can see me, or how I’m filled with pain.
They only try to keep themselves  dry ,and get out of the rain.
Myself I just keep walking,not caring if I’m wet.
Maybe if I walk enough I’ll finally forget.
But the memories of you keep haunting me, torturing my brain.
And the tears keep streaming down my face, so I hide them in the rain.

F J McCarthy on Apr 5, 2009
A four part Haiku.




Deep sea creatures swim

Never knowing we are here

Existing apart


Worlds unknown to us

Cold dark sea,  home to many

Life beyond our own.


Careless in our haste

Spilling poison in the sea

Killing precious life


Mother of all life

Forgive us our foolishness

blessed is the sea

The Soldier
F J McCarthy on Jan 6, 2009

I wrote this after serving in the Army in the early 80’s. I had heard how the Vietnam vets were treated on returning home,and how I felt about being a young soldier. I was 17 when I enlisted.


The battle nears, and the soldier prepares.
Forget the fears, the enemy beware.
With uniform and weapon, and boots polish black.
He goes forth to battle,perhaps never to come back.
Not searching for glory, not wishing for fame.
He fights every battle, and they all seem the same.
his hands soaked with blood, his heart turning cold.
So young in his body, yet his mind is so old.
The friends he had made, lie dead there beside him.
Is this wrong or right, he needs something to guide him.
And when he gets home, to the country he loves.
Will they call him hero. or toss down the glove.
Will they call him foul names , as they spit on his face.
Will they call him a butcher, to the whole human race.
Now all of these things have happened before.
But he’s still just a soldier, to his duty he’s sure.
For freedom he fights, for he’s heard his countries call.
When you sleep safe tonight, remember the soldiers who died to keep our flag waving tall.

Thin

F J McCarthy on Jan 8, 2010


I am thin, stretched to far,waiting for something to break.

A drum that has felt too many beats,a heart too many aches.

I am the trampoline you dance on with joy,never notice the tears that you rip.

I am the burro that carries your load,never flinch at the sting of your whip.

Time and again I pray for release, from the pain of this prison I’m in.

While you go on oblivious to the anguish you cause me within.

Faster harder the drumbeats sound as you dance upon my soul.

Grinding me into the hard cold ground with a heart that is black as coal.

I feel myself fading, you have pushed too hard,the skin is about too burst.

Of all the mistakes I have ever made, loving you was the worst

Times
F J McCarthy on Jan 4, 2009


Time to dance and time to sing.
It seems theres time for everything.
Time to watch the stars above.
I hope theres time to fall in love.
Then came the day when I met you.
Now in my heart I know its true.
To live to laugh, to dance by streams.
To sing, to wish for lovers dreams.
Everything we’d ever need,we’d find the time to do.
For what a life we both could lead, if you love me like I love you.

To Jessica

F J McCarthy on Jan 8, 2009

Dedicated to my niece, who is a little beacon of joy.


The most beautiful soul I have ever met, Is my sisters first born child.

Her smile is one you cant forget, So innocent,yet wild.

Her eyes so bright , they fill your heart,With gladness overflowing.

For Jessica is a special girl, That your better off for knowing.

If your filled with anger, And feel your ready to burst.

The best thing you can do. Is talk to Jessica first

She’ll sit on your lap, She might sing a song.

She’ll tell you a story, But before very long,

You’ll smile,and you’ll laugh, and your heart will be glad.

And you would not believe you could ever get mad.

Someday I’ll have a kid of my own, or maybe two or three.

If they have half the heart of Jessica, Then a happy dad I’ll be.

Twilights Lone Companion
F J McCarthy on Nov 30, 2009





Barely scratched this heart of mine.

Like polished granite dulled by time.

Hard and black with speckled flecks.

A cold stone island strewn with wrecks.

A fortress tower strong and old.

No shelter from the icy cold.

A lonely monolith no warmth to find.

Barely scratched this heart of mine.

Echos play down these halls of stone

It is just the wind in the catacombs.

Pale ghosts of winter chill my bones.

Remind me that I’m still alone.

So many lost to times cruel  hand.

This single rock is left to stand

Eternal vigil without sleep.

So cold inside no tears to weep.

Immortal creature outside time.

Barely scratched this heart of mine.

Two in the Morning

F J McCarthy on Jan 13, 2009


It’s two in the morning, I should be in bed.
But I’m on this computer, with these words in my head.
So I pour me some coffee, while the house sleeps away.
Guess I’ll get an early start to my day.
Can’t say what I’m writing, I’m not really sure.
A poem a ditty, An insomniacs cure.
My brain thinks the words, and my fingers tap away.
Will I remember this tomorrow, I really can’t say.
So if your like me, staying up late at night.
Type out a few poems, don’t care if there’r right.
It helps me to write, clears the dust from my head.
But it’s two in the morning, I should get to bed.

Two Souls
F J McCarthy on Jan 11, 2009


Two souls searching for love.
neither Knowing where to look.
So close it seemed a step away.
The only step that no one took.
Too many times they passed.
their search  was so intense.
They could not feel the love so near,
Just waiting over the fence.
Left alone they could not wait.
The need they felt was just too great.
A summer fling to quench their thirst.
For surely soon their hearts would burst.
And then they met, by luck or chance.
They heard the music and felt the dance.
So hard it had been to finally meet.
At last they knew love, their souls were complete.