to hide, to lie
to string dangling participles
along on metaphors

use poetry
where lips won't work
and mind can't find
The Way

let crystal crimsom flow
from serrated wrists

obscurity allows for
solshimmers of the ineffable
so don't eff it in the a
like a persie Snap channel

in the event that may potentially be a thing possibly occurring perhaps I dunno and I don't know what I don't know but it sureasshit would be nice to because me and truth are like this [crossies] and on occasion it comes and knocks on my door so the Uni bringeth and I laugheth all the way to the wet sodium facepalm speaking of which I don't like the taste of that **** I like my truth rare and still mooing would you believe I'm a vegetarian tho but still **** ******* like it raw crunch munch nom noms even though I slurp soup like there's no phoking tomorrow also down af for digressing and running onward and sideways stories from where the sidewalk never ends and I really don't think ours does plus it sure is the weirdest neatest thing ever did you bring the proper shoes darling I sure hope you can keep up in all the ways and FYI my door is not blasted off the hinges it's wisened and slightly ajar and I'm standing over threshold with eyes wide and slightly red because I waved goodbye to sunsets left for mf good but never got to see our light rise so just know that these wrung hands are actually open palms crippled from reaching and being singed on handles that seemed oh-so cool from my limited optical view like a mountain of honeycombed Dixie Crystal dust knees that you had been on yours praying for but gave the **** up on long before he walked in and changed EVERYTHING and I am so grateful but I am sad and I am hurt and I am confused but I am not scared like I once was of you and All our tea leaves foretold but scared I am of never really knowing you and the accompanying truths so please give it to me dagger deep I meant what I said and I said what I meant I like my men sharp and penetrative 100% and if you can't handle being earnestly struck by your own syntactic constructs direct in the ******* whinging outta my sometimes salty sacrosanct then me and you just won't do since that happens to be my forte as it were and maybe you're not up for the uphill to heaven with this mystical inferno but if you think perhaps maybe your life will never be the same without me in it someway somehow then let's fill the grey unnamed with a foundation of friendship where all is safe and found and all that means to me is everything so if you trust me to know the things about love a.k.a. the holy mystery which you ahem did as I recall with glowing warm curled around my formerly shaking cold then don't worry about getting back to it there's no such way to a thing it's there - always was, is, will be - it's just we're having this hooded entourage over for dinner first and honey I don't know if we have enough chairs but I'll sit on the floor with you and we can laugh and cry and eat sixteen courses of humble pie until the holy ghost enters the room which she undoubtedly will do and leave periodically only to return when we get all cozy and still or maybe upon the exodus of tears when all the walls have been torn down and we finally see clear through that one room has indeed been forged from two

or whatever

he made me
stand still

that was
THE thing

not adrift on passé
or futuristic projectings
not jumping rope
on hyped-up think strings

all of me
paused
to feel all of him
every inner switch
flicked on forever
KC lights streaming
yepyepyep

wired spinefire
warming its way
to burst through skin
invisible firecrackers
jumpstarting the air
revolt from suffocating

we were
whereverthefuck
together

(+ think we dropped pins in)

all molecules at ATTN
his lip blueprints existing
eternal in my synaptic tracks

beyond the say breathes
the evermore of listen
eardrum heartstrum
empathic rhythm

his brainfire ringing
my threshold doorbells
syntactic turrets spitting
direct hits beyond ramparts
into unshuttered windows

bizarro blurbs
wrap me uppers
10,000 suction cup tentacles
asphyxiating the cloak of me
skinning and bonding me
to particles of matterthings

self-conscious and judgment
marked absent
we resounded here!
but no hands in the air
to Be seen

sensory nonsense pitterpatters
into where All is found lost
to hallowed delights

except for the realies
don't ******* that ****
it's my cryptonite

sinks
leaching into
my hollows

immobilized maybes
orbit the shatter
of our halos

until
it doesn't

and light shrapnel
starts accreting

this is purge
toxic upchuck sludge
rigorous rigor mortis decay
it's not pretty, but it's real

wish I had cupped hands overflowing
with moon rocks and pixie dust
but I'm plumb out at the moment

these words are septic
and the valves rusted over
to get it running again
you gotta let flow

stomach sores fester
bloated bile gurgle
sloshing esophageal shores
the unsaid brimming ruefully

on the cusp of all that was, is
or doesn't even matter anymore
**** if I know

it's all stagnant murky

and when I thought
perhaps I was
undead in bloom

felt so unsure
what to do
what to do...

dropped to knees, praying
for cosmic signage
like I do

and when I walked in
to my parents' house that evening
the very first thing my dad says to me:
we're watching this tonight

in his hand, a DVD
Pride and Prejudice Zombies

I can't make this **** up...

we defied
societal op orders

usually it goes hello
then eons of pretense
merry-go-round
exquisitely painted masks
marveling at each other's *******

but we tripped
some secret passage switch
falling through corridors
landed abruptly
in the phosphorescent core
and tagged the pulsing walls
with lines visceral

it's a backwards procession
and we keep eating asphalt
imagining simple things
seems rather inconceivable
like tea...

and when I do imagine
it's usually a pantomime
of exaggerated expressions
giggles and holding back tears
from all that can never be said

it's safe to say
I'm lost
and confused

somewhere between

me
and you

he was always
wanting, waiting
to take this walk with me

back turned at the edge of the woods
I called to him, said I was coming

and when I arrived at his side
our feet synced and tongues entwined
in stride, aligned and winding along
this colloidal ladder of a path
inside vines climbing into curls

we were so green

verdant bloom mouthing heartbeats
in synchronic lightstreams

remember when
we stepped into the clearing
where treetops parted for the sky
we both looked up, then laid down
inside the other's mind
neither push nor pull
but stilled

entranced
by backlit rhythmic ribs
arising and ebbing harmonic
bathing in the shores of soul
they dive deeper, you know...

it didn't matter
when the rains came
because you stayed with me
even though you bemoaned
the falling wet charcoal
I tousled your ashen hair
and listened

then I straddled you
and spoke of rainbow spectrums
visible only
after the clouds cry

and you
you let me
crawl inside your ear
with whispers of black-lined blissings

and in that instant
the sky vibrantly bowed
arcing prismatic across rays
bestowing halos on us both
imperfect beings
perfectly seeing