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allergens tickle in
like snorting
Pop Rocks

respiratory passages
closing up shop
relegated
to mouth-breathing

until I summon
pseudoephedrine
to bomb the ****
out of my face
Liquid Plumber
of snot

side effects may include:
scrambled brains
traces of ether
floating a foot off the ground
perhaps the sexiest poem ever written
and tmi
and streaks my heart walls inky
intermittently

I don't want to keep
grieving the passed
it hijacks the now

it's all we have

just a string
of fleeting, fragile moments
with zero guarantees
at some point
I just have
to laugh

or else cry

and I've already
drowned
my eyes

pacing sordid circles
with rambling feet
shot off the curve
of this smoking hip

behind me
an errant path
of scar-let tracks

it's so silly
really

all the things we did
and didn't do

all the things we said
and meant to follow through
you were
the biggest folder
in my Evernote
labeled Prolix Ranter

because I got sick
of scrolling your ****
and wanted precise
dosages

I deleted it
then swallowed
my tongue
and for so long

no words would come

then you trickled in
iridescent thought bubbles
with minds and time
all their own

I don't know
how to pop them

but they sure as ****
know how to find me

and make my fingers
crave

the pen
I get jacked
on the +

my habitual needle
pumping somedays
into my veins

it's how
I stonewall
this tsunami of pain
I was so mad
I forgot to be all my sad

survival gremlins work fast
packed most of it up
behind my back
stowed it in the attic

in a dust-draped corner
next to a heap of tangled wires
and a vintage Smith Corona

and now I see
your name permanent, on repeat
a cardboard Sharpie-scrawled
nonlinear timeline
stacked precarious

I keep questioning
why I'm up here
when I crack boxes
they siphon me in
to a grip of whys and ifs
that pin me horizontal

I think I like it
when they topple

pointy perpendicular assault
trying to impale inside
and paper cut

so pulpy marrow
can pry its way back
into my hollow bones
things never come out
quite the same
in ink
as in mouth

especially:

Thank you.
I love you.

and

I'm sorry...
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