We did so much together, but when her time came to enter  through heavens doors , I was stopped. As she walk through the doors I watched the softess glowing white feathered wings form upon her back , and a glistening halo of gold instantly appeared , floating above her head , just as she floated into the majestic kingdom. As she turn to face me one last time , I saw my friend, the way she used be , before the ALS ravaged her body and soul. I saw not one sign of pain and no tears falling , but a smile of love and pure peace

Written by E. M . Rushton
Aug 31, 2028

I really don’t know what to say.
She is going to tell me is dying
My words are  stuck in my throat
And my tongue is tied in knots
I really don’t know what to say

ALS has grabbed her body
To the point of no return
She’s my buddy, she’s my friend
The only one I chose to trust
I really don’t know what to say

On the wings of butterfly
I rest my soul
In it I trust
With all I have
My mind is weary
It needs a break
Reality is harsh
As I enter insanity
I know no worries
Everything is right
And normal to me
You may laugh
But the laugh is on you
For I am at peace
Something you don’t know
So I think I will stay
On the wings of my butterfly
And be happy in my world
Unlike you in yours

Written by E. M. Rushton

Im crying inside for my friend
Yet write beautiful with paper and pen
Am I of one or two or three
Sometimes not sure of Who I be
The fear of letting you see me
Doesn’t allow me to be free
Some day I hope I Of how I feel
And I can show and be me for real

Written by E.M.Rushton
August 16 th 2018

Yes I wear my heart upon my sleeve
Its tender as a peldal from a delicate flower
I needs to give , it needs to believe
Like grass of spring needs rain shower

Sometimes  it cries like a new born child
And other times it’s light just like a feather
Sometimes it’s mixed up like plants of the wild
And even  gets angry like nasty weather

Broken today like glass hitting rock
Yet singing tomorrow like birds in the spring
My heart on my sleeve , I never will lock
It flutters with love, like a butterfly’s wing

Written by E.M.Rushton
August 16th 2018

The moon sits high
So full of light
In the darken sky
On the clearest night

Like a king on his thrown
It reigns its land
What it sees isn’t known
But in the sky ,it takes command

As I walk it follows me
Giveing light to my way
Never alone I will be
With its light as good as day

Written by E. M.Rushton
August 16th 2018

As I sit under the tree , it’s leaves canapy above
As if a spy blue sky peeks through the gaps
The song of breeze takes me away to places I love
In distance I hear ,maybe birds I think perhaps

The old dog lays at my side, snaping at Flies
I try read his mind, and he blinks as if to hide
Then with a moan he shuts his eyes
And into dreams he’s gone with pride

Below the hill I hear the stream trickle past
And I imagine all of life’s upsets
On a line and out I cast
Away they go, no more to feel or to fret

Written by E. M. Rushton
Aug 16th 2018

The darkness has grasp my mind
and the searing pain cuts deep into my soul
I scream silently in a non verbal language
Please release your grasp on me

I force my walk
with steps that weigh
the weight of hells iron gates
I try to stand , but am forced downward
by the heavy black fog
of this hideous monsters breath

I try to find my way out
Through eyes sewn shut
with absolute despair
My chest swells like a tide from
the jack hammering pounding of my heart

My bowels twist and coil
like a boa constrictor
killing its prey
My ears explode from within
at your words of ignorance "Be happy , "
Unable to rise to your demands
I sink deeper into this blazing
infernal of torment.

written by E.M.Rushton

I can not see
what's in the bend
a head of me
No paddles I have
I can not stop
I take deep breaths
to calm my fears
The bend is sharp
And swiftly I move
My balance is weak
And over I go
In the water
and under I am
my eyes I keep open
to find my way
One last struggle
and up I rise
from the bend
and all is calm

written by E.M.Rushton

In my mind, I must walk
Alone and scared, I can not talk
About the crash that killed a kid
I tried to help, I really did
First on scene of that terrible sight
I cant forget that awful night.
People scream and yell at me
he's in the car, cant you see
The car is fully engulfed in flame
They curse at me, and me they blame
In my mind I know he's gone
But where's the driver, I must move on
I search the faces with the fires light
I yell above the horrific sight
Where's the driver is he alright
They point up ahead towards the road
He's lying there, injured I'm told
I take to running up the hill
I know I'm moving , yet feel so still
My lungs are burning, my heart pounds hard
Of that night , my mind is scarred
I reach the driver, in pain he lays
Go help my buddy is all he can say
Unable to tell him the awful truth
for he still too is just a youth
His clothes are burnt into his skin
My tears start falling deep within
The ambulance is here , to my relief
Their time on scene is short and brief
I help them care and load this man
I try to help, I hold his hand
In my mind, I must walk
Alone and scared, I can not talk
About the crash that killed a kid
I tried to help, I really did

written by E.M.Rushton
2016

I live my life like
A fish out of water
I see through eyes that are blind
I speak words I do not know

I take to give
I awaken to sleep
I crawl to run
I laugh to cry

I think not to know
I seek not to find
I hurt to be happy
I live to die

written by E.M.Rushton

When I was just a bitty baby
My momma said, I think she's crazy
When I was 20 and acted cool
People said she" just a fool
Now I'm older and nothing changed
Now people say , she's insane
I live my life and have some fun
so if you see me , please don't run
Come with me , and be my friend
we'll laugh and joke till the end

Written by E.M. Rushton

This is the story, of my very best friend
From the beginning ,to the end
The people that had you, left you tied
They moved away, you nearly died

Your fur you lost, and down to bone
You were so frighten , there all alone
In the pound I saw your face, I had to get from that place
I brought you home , with me to stay
With me you are, still today

You are so loyal, and so true
What would I do without you
On my darkest, and longest days
Your at my side , and there you stay
When bad dreams come in the night
You gently awake me, and calm me from fright

Now in the grass , you play so free
While your ears are listening for me
You greet me when home I come
With wagging tail, and kisses for mom

Your paws have tread upon my heart
I knew I loved you from the start
Know matter where I am in life
Your in my heart , and mind alike

Written by E. M. Rushton

You walked with me
For several years
Then one day
Came my tears

To let you go
Broke my heart
Today I know
We're not apart

For in my mind
You walk with me
But to others
They can not see

In the silence
Your voice I hear
It hasn't changed
From way up there

At night I look
Up to the stars
And see a twinkle
For there you are

When life is hard
I think of you
Then I smile
For you helped me through

I know again
Someday we'll meet
At heavens doors
And Jesus's feet

Written by E.M.Rushton

Tonight I’m talking ,to my heart
As it was hurt time and again
It acted deaf ,from the very start
Then weeped remembering the all pain

I tried to sooth it , best I could
And even though it’s broken
If it wanted fixed ,I would
And Truely meant the words I’ve spoken

Then it started feeling hope
And I could feel it too
Now it felt like it could cope
And my heart I did renew

Written by E, M . Rushton
August 15th 2018

As the trees sang
The wheat fields waved
The Berry’s , they hang
Alone and unsaved

As the brook flows
The clouds sail by
The bees on the rose
Resting to fly

As the warm days end
And fall arrives
The colours ascend
Such a sight to our eyes

Written by E.M.Rushton
August 14th 2018

In words I live
They give life
Peace they give
Free from strife

They make think
And let me sleep
They come in a blink
Or in they creep

They take me away
Or bring me near
Sometimes I play
With words right here

Written by E. M . Rushton
August 12th 2018

As I walk ,in the cool dusk air
A shooting star, falls to my feet
It dances with grace , and with such flare
As if to say ,  “I’m happy to meet “

Across the field , and away it goes
Time stands still, I’m so entranced
How long we were friends, no one knows
But I’ll never forget, the star of the dance

Written by E.M.Rushton
August 11th 2018

In the night ,of my darkest day
I walk awake within my dreams
On twisted paths , my hopes do lay
For me to grasp ,in rainbow beams

The light of stars ,shine on each hope
And with a twinkle, they beckon me
While drops of dew , they form a rope
And as I climb , I fill with glee

I grasp each hope , and hold it tight
And to my heart ,I tuck them in
Then in the dark , I shine so bright
And now my life , it can begin

Written by E. M. Rushton
August 10th 2018

If you are the wind that blows sand in my eyes
The least you could is provide the rain to wash it out.

Written by E.M Rushton
August 9th 2018

Butterflies and birds
Turtles and snails
Horses and donkeys
Then there is you and me

Each can relate
Some of the same
Yet differently too
Not just by name

Cars and trucks
Brooks and sea
Apart from the other
Yet family in life

Written by E M Rushton
August 9 th 2018

My head is  so full
But of what I don’t know
Like that of a dam
Ready to over flow

To many thoughts
Fighting for space
Like weeds in a garden
That are out of  their place

I just need to sort them
The good from the bad
Like screws from the nails
To keep me sharp and not sad



Written by E. M, Rushton

May I sing with onlymy heart
While my voice stays silently still
With my eyes open
By closing my ears

May I dance with only my eyes
While my body stays still
And open my mind
By stilling my thoughts

May I smile with actions alone
With my back to your face
See with your heart
While closing your eyes

Written by E. M. Rushton
Aug 8th 2018

The fear of failure is the cause of my failure.

Written by E. M. Rushton

I want to talk
But Only in thought
I want to be there
But no where near

I want to see
But not all that I should
I want to feel
But not right now

I want to give
But hide it away
I want to receive
But say no each time

I want to be free
But pass you cuffs
I want live
But live to want

Written by E.  M. Rushton
August 7th 2018

Does fear really exist
Or is it a delusion
Or just a nasty trick
To blind you to the truth

Is it a sibling of doubt
Or a parent of painful worry
All a family within my head
That should be jailed for life

Written by EM.Rushton
August 7th 2018

I wonder through each day
Like a fallen leaf in the wind
My mind it swirls up and down
Feeling caught like a fish on a hook

Inside I scream like a wild hyena
Outside I look calm like the dawn
Yet on I go like a flowing brook
Wanting to normal like nobody else

Written by E.M.Rushton
August 7th 2018

Flying up high  
Like that of a dove
Feel the air of the sky
A feeling I would love

The silk of a flower
So clean and so pure
With the mist of a shower
I’d love to endure

To sing in the wind
As the birds in the tree
My soul it would mend
My heart heavy with glee

This is my dream
For each and to all
Let the light of you gleam
May your sorrows be small

Written by E. M . Rushton
August 7th 2018

As I walk alone
With in my mind
The seeds you’ve sewn
Are so entwined

The doubt I think
Of who I am
Ashamed I shrink
Your words did slam

You will not win
I’ll fight with all
Someday I’ll grin
Walk proud and tall

Until that day
You laugh at me
My heart you slay
Until I’m free

Written by E M Rushton
Aug 6th 2018

The raging beast ,across it sweeps
Up it roared ,in smoke and flame
Now running scared , none now sleeps
We fight for life , the beast we tame

The sun is hot , our bodies weary
For days on end , this is our way
Its not for all , for most its scary
In soot of black , for rest we lay

My helmet for my pillow
And black soot for my bed
I dream of shade from a willow
But the forest , it is dead

Of twenty four , eighteen we spend
Our faces black , our feet so sore
We know no stop ,until the end
The firey one, you live no more

Written by E.M.rushton.
Aug 4th 2018

I fly up high on wings of man
And see below, the beautiful land
My job's to fight the firey beast
From North to South , West to East

I love my job and I am proud
But the fire is fierce , and its rage is loud
The sky is grey and thick with smoke
I pray to God I make it out

I dive down deep ,to drop the load
I hear the pop , my wings expload
My job on earth is now done
My life in heaven has begun

My sisters and brothers , please dont cry
For With wings of God , Im still up high
The firey beast has not won
For me eternity has just begun

Written by E.M.Rushton

As the lighting flashes in the darkness of night  , the war in side  her head is intensified. The metal barrow she uses for shelter wraps her loneliness around her with suffocation . Then again , comes the load roar of thunder and mixed with the growl in her stomach from days of hunger , it spits deafness into her soul.
Written by E. M. Rushton

From where she stands, the lay out of the land is different in so many ways,
yet the same in one. The week has been extreemly stressful, with what seemed like
everything going wrong. With her sanity at stake, she stands , looking down off the hill,
to the field below , when Deja Vu  fills her mind. Then the thought of , "Someday, I will
be older and will look back at today.  Then she see's the small child of 8 years of age. The
child is crying and standing on a hill looking down on the farm fields.The woman then shivers
as she hears the the words the child speaks, " Someday I will be older , and will look back at today.
Then with a blink of the womans eye, the child is gone, and woman and child become one. 42 years later, the wisdom
of a child , still gives the woman stenght , when life seems unbeable .

Written by E.M.Rushton

If you awoke upon this day
Arise and shine,
Like the suns own rays
Let your steps be light,
And you heart be bright
Dance like the leaves,
In the warm summer breeze
Speak words that are kind,
And you will find,
At the end of the day,
You will have peace of mind.

Written by E.M.Rushton

The tortured mind
in darkness sits
As voices bind
the fear now hits

Are they real
are they not
my life they steal
I kid you not

They say to ****
they say to hide
against my will
I must abide

This curse I have
Upon my soul
there is no salve
to mend to hole

The hell in me
from day to day
no one see's
and I do pray

Upon the bridge
My screams I shout
I'm over the edge
I want out

To jump I choose
the pain is gone
But my life
I now loose

Written by E.M.Rushton

As shadows kissed upon the wall
They stood in love, proud and tall
My head I felt ,that I should turn
But in my heart , Their love I yearned

Across the ceiling, they danced their way
The music they hear, I wish i could play
He lifts her up, and twirls around
Then on her head, He sits a crown

Up off my bed, I start to dance
Without knowing, Im so entranced
Their orcastra , I now can hear
But when I look, they disappear

Written by E.M.Rushton

Hidden behind ,your so called smile
I torture your mind ,all the while
Some say that, i am a coward
And by your fear, i am powered

I take refuge ,in your mind
And steal your happiness , so you cant find
Then make your days , as dark as night
And at night , youll feel my bite

I know your time , that I take
You cant get back , you cant remake
Your such an awesome ,living host
Your isolation, I like the most

Your secrecy , it helps me thrive
With it I breath, and stay alive
Your friends, they have a fear of me
Cause your not, who you should be

Written and copy right by
E.M.Rushton

I am me
and you are you
you want to be
just like me

I cant be you
you cant be me
you need to be
unlike me

I'm one you see
why cant you be
more like you
and less like me

so now you see
we're meant to be
unlike you
and not like me

Written by E.M.Rushton

I have been there for a first breath
I have been there for the last breath
I have been there to save lives
I have been there to make lives better
I have been there for tears
I have been there for joy
I have been there in the light
I have been there in darkness
I have been there , when there was nothing I could do, But be there.
Today I cant be there, because Upon awakening this morning, although my eyes opened ,I was blind
The awful creature of darkness crept in through the night and stole my vision, my happiness, my being. This creature is called depression, I am Still me , but not myself.
I have been there, will you be there

My love for her, an aunt to me
From a different family tree
Our roots are different , yet so entwined
Family is a state of mind

Our daily struggles, God does see
You need aunt Bertha , he said to me
Upon awaking, upstairs I walk
There at the table she sits and talks

A stranger she was , yet in my heart
I felt connected, like never apart
Her kindness wrapped my soul in ease
And to my heart, she had the key

My dear aunt Bertha, your heart it shines
From different roots ,our lives did whine
I thank the lord , he gave to me
My dear aunt Bertha, forever you'll be

Written by E.M.Rushton

After being sick for several days
The sun now shines.
She puts on her music of Bob Seger
Someday You'll Accomp'ny Me
The music puts rhythm to her feet
She grabs her dance partner
and outside the moves start.
They dance and sway together
around the shed in rhythm with the music
She twirls her partner around and the grass is flying
Then down around the garden they go.
The dance moves are becoming stronger, her partner is smoking
and up around the front of the house they move.
Oh what a beautiful day.
They then make their way around to the side of the house
when all of a sudden
her dance partner stops !
Not understanding why her partner has stopped,
she throws the stupid wipper snipper to the ground
and walks away cursing.

By E.M.Rushton June 25 2015

A brush of Autumn

Autumn feels so far away
Yet in my ear it whispered today
As it brushed by, I felt its breeze
Fresh and cool, It set me at ease

It is my favorite time ,of year
To wait for it , I can not bear
The frosted ground, so crisp and white
The sound of crickets , chirping at night

With leaves of yellow, orange and red
Upon the ground, they make their bed
My breath I see , in front of me
Alive I feel , my thoughts so free

Written by E.M.Rushton

Tear stain cheeks
from eyes that leak
Of news today
my heart it weighs

In two weeks time
My aunt will climb
The steps to heaven
so high above

She lives so far away from me  
To her I want to go and see
to hold her tight
when comes the light

I know she wouldn't want me sad
but the pain, it hurts so bad
My dear Aunt Bertha, please take with you
All my love, forever new

written by E.M.Rushton

Four paws walk
Through veins of
My heart with soothing
Whispers of love
      
Two eyes melting
All pain away
Speaking silently
Removing life's  gravities

Licks of a warm
Pink panting tongue
Gently Washing away
Stains of the day

Waging tail brushing
Hope deep into the
Recess of my soul no
Human can touch

Written by E.M.Rushton

Among so many
We stand alone
So much alike
Yet so disjoined

Our worlds so different
And one we share
Alike we think
with different thoughts

You like, like me
Yet hate my likes
We hear the same
Yet hear things different

Through life we walk
down different paths
But at the end
Its all the same

Written by E,M.Rushton

My heart is my shield
Through life as I go
To love is my art
And hope to bestow

My hands are to give
When nothing is there
To reach to forgive
And lift from despair

My eyes are to see
Your light from with in
Through storms they will lead
And shed tears when you win

written by E.M.Rushton

With hands of love
At work or play
They go above
To help each day

Mouths they've fed
Tears they've wiped
Sometimes they've bled
But they never gripe

Like lead in pencil
Creating beauty
With out a stencil
And always on duty

A child they raised
With love they gave
A firefighter today
A life they saved

Written by E.M.Rushton

I'm still just me
why cant you see
blind eyes by her
away she lures

A falling star
with an ugly scar
I've shown so bright
Now dull despite

Away you walk
I want to talk
to ask you why
You eat her lie

I'm still just me
Why cant you see
Blind eyes by her
Away she lures

Written by E.M .Rushton

Trapped like an animal
In a cage of words
With barbs wrapped
Around my mind and soul

The barbs dig deceitfully
As I try to defend myself
They slice with deviance and claw
At my heart as tears bleed out

After severing my heart
The barbed words encompass
A corrosive attack on my nerves
And assault my state of mind

un be knowing to the villain
its barbed words mutate
leaving the unsuspecting villain
open to an attack from its own creation

Written by E.M Rushton

The tears of my heart have gone unseen
Deep down within they flowed as a stream
While on my face a smile did show
The pain I felt no one did know

My heart was broken and blind you be
To the pain that lived deep down in me
In time I learned to it hide it so well
While like an ocean my tears continued to swell

I act like you want , so happy and free
You ask if Im better , and yes I agreed
When you turned your back to walk away
I wished for the truth if only I could say

Alone again I'm was better to be
Nothing to hide I could just be me
Another chance the truth to tell
Is gone again in anger I yelled

I lived my life telling this lie
Day after year, I just wanted to cry
In time I learned to hide  it so well
while like an ocean  my tears continues to swell
written by E.M.Rushton