I don’t fuss
For once
I let the wind blow my hair away
I let myself look like a fool
I let my skin feel cold
And I enjoy it
Today, I am not in a hurry
For the first time
The rain touches me like a mother

It’s my last day for this race
I do not pull away from the night
I do not draw back from the moon
I let the world push on,
Push over me
Leave me
behind

You are autumn to me
Orange brown and burgundy
A breath between the heat and the freeze.
Warm enough to melt me into softness
But cold enough to keep me quite alive.
You are a falling asleep,
With the intention of a new awakening.
You are an icon of style,
Effortlessly thoughtful
A medium of practicality and luxury.
You are a narcotic spell,
Spices from a native blend
Something I breathe in,
And it completely changes me
Before I breathe it out again.
You are a season to me
And I click over a bead,
Counting.

We circle around you in absolute awe
Adoring your every murmur
Loving you so completely, almost jealous
Wishing we could be so fresh.
I gather you in my hands, an infant saint
You embrace me with innocent reciprocation
Finding sleep easy in my trusted arms.
Not by genetics, but by love, I guard you
Playing mother for the needs you cannot speak.

Now is your beginning, the slow decline of your novelty.
More perfect now than you ever will be,
Rolling around softly in your untried possibilities
Smiling laughing at nothing, everything
You stare out at us whole hearted with wonder.

But one day, you will no longer need to be mothered.
You’ll stretch out your limbs to leave,
Learn the words to wish me goodbye.
We’ll ship you out, a predestined bundle of reeds
Out to float the river, and find a wife to replace me.
It stings to imagine you then, heavy with age.
I wish you would forsake tradition
And remain a tiny ornament of this family
An emblem of purity against the contemporary.

I know you will outgrow your nurturer
But someday I will be the one in need, helplessly tired
And then you will be to me, what I once was to you
The child will become the giver, the plant become the seed.

A man who drives like he’s mad
A mirage in the summer,
And a ghost in the winter.
The air is epileptic with heat
Going on like a rippling curtain
I let go, and reattach myself
I am here, maybe there
Somehow, I grew this bitterness
Ashamed I let myself submerge
Whole hearted and light headed
Into this handsome revolution.
My lips are a clean slate,
Perhaps I have returned.

I tire so easily, falling into a conscious sleep
A painted face in front of a quiet void
I can feel you running up behind me,
Bringing with you a gush of fresh air
You exhaust me
Between loving and loathing you
Bitter that you are a trophy to this earth
I cannot resist the need to worship you
Enamored only because I cannot escape you
I synthesize all my energy into speech
Straining to choose words you would like to hear
For when I despair in you I seem to fall out through gravity
Who am I if not your faithful solar system
You are a pulsating warm body, and I am just your reflection
The bitter and the sweet pump through me like an icy burn
And inflate me till I stand once more.
You and your laurel,
You exhaust me.

With light feet, you trace the inside of your home
You forget that you are there to stay, and wander
You look up doll eyed, and wonder
Your head is so empty, completely floating
You lose yourself in the dreaming world.
You are so flighty, taken away on light a breeze
Your only aim in spoken by the heart
You know nothing of solid things
You have no idea of anything
You girl, you girl
Nothing is real in your world.
You've baked too long in the sun
Mind soaked too long in smoke
All is soft where you stay,
All is painted up and just to keep your concentration
You do nothing but feel and use your eyes.
All you can do is look, look, look,
Look on and smile, with a helpless little mind.

I looked up at the night and saw the stars
All waltz down in a resigned unity
Falling slowly as if in a rain
Stars set in motion like ships in the sky
They were planets, dendrites
They took the shape of many things.
Disastrous, graceful, but I was unafraid.
I beheld an effigy. Endless, proud, and floating
Sheer and illuminated in the gleam of it all.

Stationed from my watch, I wondered.
I appraised my worth against this sight
Taken by the hand, I was pulled away
And realized  I am completely helpless.
Unimpassioned, I let the days melt away
Time stood still, but was all used up
I watched and watched, it was the end.

I could hear the bombs and feel the flashbacks
I was a fighter, but the battle was stale.
The moon was neon, teased and stretched like elastic
Bitter with the competition,
He was desperately pleading with me
Saying, go to bed.