I leave the door open
I make plans for you
An imaginary correlation, an absent importance
I revel in the moment I catch your eye
And lasso it in like a blue rose in the desert
We smile
Reserved, empty of ambition
We silently say,
I know your there.
And I know your there.
I acknowledge that you exist

Even from far away,
I can tell you smell like fresh air
Time beneath the western sun
Has contoured your face, and lit up your hair
You sit back as if you’re a portrait,
A wild horse I would never restrain.

The little fact that you exist excites me
Please stay somewhere on this Earth
We leave space in between us
Somewhere for our thoughts to go
You send me waves through the dry air
Wordless pronunciations
I will never touch you
I just like to know you’re alive
Indifferent, yet completely saturated in your image.

Eyes, spotless prisms of
Refracting light.
Hands, immovable columns
Of ageless stone.
Soul, a simmering hearth
Of softly beaming heaven.
I make you out to be,
Something so eternal.
I love you yet to be,
Anything less than enthralled.
Your novel florescence
Is never ending intrigue
For a washed out girl
Like me.

Suspended in a dusky spell,
I wait for all my worries
To come collect my night.
I look them in the eyes
And entertain their every possibility.
I accept them as my only friends
Frightening, yet so familiar.

I draw a lukewarm bath,
And let all things pass.
Chew on a mouthful of rotten fruit,
And consider the naivety with which
I labored away all my days
With sweat in my palms and bare feet
Rooted in dry, hopeless dirt
All for nothing.
An infinite, hollow, hateful nothing.

And to hear myself admit it,
Is like a quiet crushing.
A step in the snow
A fist full of foil
That undeniable sound
In absolute silence.
For nothing, for nothing, for nothing.

I let myself go,
And sink backwards into the mud.
“You have to do what you love.”
They say with a belly full of blood.
I'm disgusting.

I have an insatiable need
To be young.
I have an unquenchable thirst
to be thrilled.
I don't want to change the world.
But I'd to love lay upon its lawn,
And feel it spin beneath me.
An insignificant baby blossom
On its timeless rotating face.

I'd love to sleep through the freeze
And emerge in July.
A born again sun child
With soft skin and fresh eyes.
I 'd aspire only to simplicity.
Tell them all to go on without me
For I only aim to abide aimlessly
In the warm womb summer
Out of touch, and abandoned by time.

I've spread my roots across these panels
Lived a life within these walls.
I can make no movements,
But my eyes are wild.
Solitary and unspoiled
With nothing to need.
Until one day,
You rose in place of the sun.

I grew to live for the moment
In which you shone.
In this freshly sun soaked room,
I come apart.
I watch you bloom
Your a warm yellow,
And I can see straight through.
In that short second,
I become uncontrollable.
I reach so far I break,
but I have no arms.
I writhe and beat,
but have nowhere to burst.
I can do nothing, but die of wanting.
I am glued to this wall.

As you set,
I can not restrain your leaving.
There is nothing to cover the hole in which you fall.
As you set,
I let my eyes pour over you quickly.
Flood you over for that last moment,
Forcing myself between every tiny thread
Of your uncharted, bottomless mystery.
Wallflower, gaze while he flies away.
Wallflower, you lost your chance today.

Tangled coral finger
Disappear and reappear at ease
Playing with the thick silk sea.
You are so charcoal and gray.
But some day, all yellow and blue to me.

I know you are so clean-
I tell her to come into me.
Braid your beating green to life
Intimate and innocent
Arches and Arches of endless
Green.
You have always been so clean,
Lukewarm sea spray queen.

Call me home, and I wonder how
I always forget.
I disappear, but you endure.
Growing and revolving
Dying for my eyes to arrest your motion.
So you can rest, a still life.
Arches and arches of endless
Green, surround me.

Estates within the woods, serene with sun.
Warm air, and white prim rose dresses.
Secrets dropped between blades of grass.
Hidden, lost in summer.
But, if asked just right,
Politely and precise,
They will bloom for you.
Quaint little used to be's.
Who used to beat
My heart.

Memories.

Back yard lawn chair, of crisp yellow and white.
Which once upon an unknowingly historic time,
Embraced the body heat
Of that King.
And his miniature kingdom,
Within me.

Lovingly.

It was Summer at the Racquet Club Estates.
His last Summer,
A chance to breathe alive.
Our Last debate,
A heart's final try.
Quaint little used to be.
Who used to beat
My heart.

Goodbye.