a soft shirt hangs loosely from your soft back
uninhibited
your fingers, magnetic
become rooted to your instrument
and your body shades the music you create
like a tree leaning over a galaxy of moon-soaked water.
your breath is a metronome
that fills the tiny silences with life
and adds punctuation to the melodic sentences you speak.
with what is left of its windy consciousness,
my body absorbs the urgency of a dangerous crescendo
like a slow, sweeping wave pushing me under
a blanket of warm water.
Then your stoic face pulls me back in
and i feel safe under your focused serenity
with each whispering note that comes after,
breathing sleep back into my eyes.
and, again, i'm washed away
this time, to paradise.

don't you be sad little little cigarette
i can shield from the cold snowy rain falling on your face
i'll keep you safe little little cigarette
from that rude gust of wind rudely biting your fingers
i'll keep you warm little little cigarette
i'll wrap you up in scarves and warm downy jackets
i'll nurture you my little cigarette
your toxic love fills every corner of my lungs
i'll be there for you ma petite cigarette
i love to get lost in your tiny ember glow
don't you be sad
don't you be sad
little little cigarette
i'll keep you safe til the very end
safe til there's nothing left to keep safe

your passion is a mountain i've climbed
time after time
but i can't make it to the top
your desire is elusive
it slips through my fingers before i can think to grab on
i want to study your design like an architect
but your lips take hold of me
and i forget my purpose
we venture, nervously, but willingly
far from home
with a sleepy, silent return
the line between brave and utterly stupid
has been erased
so we're living on a diet of syndicated jokes
and liquid courage
to the point where none of it seems real enough to comprehend
where the honesty is almost trite
where i can't tell if you're afraid or sad
or happy, or maybe you just don't care
or maybe you're too afraid to care
because you know that i'll be missing the feeling of you beside me
that security of your body in the crowd of my thoughts
i haven't gone far enough to miss you yet
but i already pine for you when i sleep
the great wall of your shoulders makes me feel safe
the map of your skin guides my need
but in your world, i feel like a little girl
trying to convince kings to raze cities

pieces of you scatter
shower me
surround me
you've left me a puzzle of poetry
words in every corner of the room
left for me to put together
and my heart swells on its own
your essence clings to the sidewalks
which connect our neighborhoods
two planets with a city block between them
waltzing through space
spinning across the kitchen floor
and a kiss lands between them
orbiting like a satellite to its cosmic mother
no longer aimless
in a storm of starlight

it's the morning
after the morning
wake up in my sheets
and only wish for more time to dream

the cold air is rude
and mocks the soft clothes that cover me
that kept me warm in bed
i'm too young to face this cruel world

so i'll just smoke this last cigarette
right till the very end
till the sun's warmth escapes my body
till the ashes fill my lungs
where haven't i been leaving ashes these days
when hasn't everything i touched burst into flames

i guess i'll just wait for the nighttime
cause i can't bare the infidelity of sunlight

when my thoughts are alive
and the stars calm a mind in motion
let's stay in the cold of the twilight
i'll use my flames to keep you warm

with jealousy,
the water memorizes the embezzled sky
and copies it with every spark.
the insects have awoken
rising from their grasses and bark.
with a pulsating surge,
the night breathes.
smitten with the silence, the birds
are sighing, killing the quiet.
this is where the night lives,
this is where it waits.
with the joy of a child, the twilight
bursts across the horizon
killing the fear of darkness.
wildflower fumes intoxicate the air,
vanquishing inhibitions and disguising them
for romance.
the night is wild with static,
but there's nothing to fear.

in the doorway
the floorspace between
your feet and my
jumbling path
i've become deaf to
whatever ways of love i used to know
in all the terrain that surrounds me
the only way is up
up towards your eyes
up towards the stars

i'm lost in the electricity
of each clever sound sliding from your
lips i can't quit
wrapped in your arms i become
mesmerized by your heartbeat
your chest is my pillow
your skin is my lullaby
you are the peace
that sings away my anxiety

your soft shoulders hold
a freckled galaxy
i love to find constellations
as you slowly breathe
i love to kiss each speck of soft pigment
and press my cheek against
all my favorite parts of you
i'm smitten with your skin
and up towards
your smiling moonlight eyes
i love to catch you watching me
i love to watch you loving me

placing all our trust in
a little metal box tumbling through the air
looking down on
farmers' fields like checker pieces
huge rivers winding like sunken paths
through sandbox terrain
and glare from the sun shields
terrible mountains
slowly sinking back in jealousy
as we touch an even higher sky
layer upon layer of grey curtain
eventually folds back on itself
to reveal an even greater expanse
of tiny shiny buildings
grids upon grids of humanity
cutting through the planet's skin
leaving tattoos of asphalt
only the sky-dwellers can see
relying on cotton clouds
relying on the breath of the atmosphere
with a soft blow, we're pushed
straight across the sky

Delved into the souls of others
my energies, my brain power,
aimed in the opposite direction.
I am the mountain
upon which the clouds sit.
Settling for worn floors,
my feet secretly crave bare earth
and revel in conquering the victory of height
standing where planes fly.
I've been feeding on the concept of hospitality
while the home within my guts slowly shrinks.
My body craves another force of breath.
I find myself lost
in the corner of the room where I sleep.
Watching the work of angels
in a level of atmosphere I've never known,
my posture has been compromised
and I walk with a lean.

warmth begins to set in and the air smells like wood and grass and growing things
you say that I radiate heat
but I think my body is releasing all the love I can't hold inside
the summer energy vibrating in my skin
breeding optimism deep in my soul
the positivity of growth and breathing and survival
sunlight showers me with inspiration until my skin burns in revival
my fingers twitch at each fruity breath of the flowering mother
a tiny desert city's mighty contribution to a world of drought
dry air crackles through my capillaries, always reminding me where I am
surrounded by the muses of the valley
cold, dark, alluring peaks line up on all sides
protecting us within the walls of tireless sunshine

land of gold and silver
birds with bright feathers
burning wild with sparkle and shine
spit plastic to the waves of red faces and grasping fingers
these hands reaching for anything close to home.
land of bursting hearts
front doors open for warm breezes
to come in and sit for a while
begging for a brass line, a mild conversation
never sleeping, for fear of seeing that nightmare of rain.
land of waterlines
spray painted symbols on abandoned walls
tags of sadness
and across the street, the greenery demolishes vacant lots
as if to **** the emptiness.
land of human sacrifice
since Napoleon's footprints covered each corner
since ships baring human cargo made port
since walls were built only to be tore down
by mother nature herself.
land of the broken
land of the lost
land of the free.
land where beauty rises through the storm
music begins and ends with the single loudest note
voices are not quiet or harsh or unkind.
land of peaceful noise
land of burning passion for courage
land of pride.

your sweat reminds me of rain
the scent is deep and strong
you breathe a warm wind on my face
your lips touch my ear with a secret that isn't there
nothing is held back between us
the strings pull away the suitcases
and somehow we're free
you're studying my skin
as if your fingertips long for new territory
and mine has yet to be explored
but that gaze you lay with me
leaves me reminded that you've always needed this
and i've always needed this
you waste away
as my imagination wastes me
and we go back to our daily demons
grasping at the corner of a smile

you may as well have driven her to madness
never there to touch, just out of reach
that warm skin you hide,
she needed it
it was so close beneath her fingertips
but you flew away before she could hold you
so now the word "regret" appears
and she's so far gone
there's nothing she can do
she cradles your words
and aches for what could have been

The spark in the eye of the mentor
keeps the student curious and hungry
and a grin of hope sends electricity
towards the feet of the weary.
Don't let weakness of heart
catch on to other muscles.
With a road that's so unforgiving ahead,
strangers must become teachers
and vagabonds must become friends.
In a world where the irony of each beautiful day must be forgotten,
the only thing left to believe in
is the love in each human eye.

there were weeks there
where all i wanted was to be in my childhood home
amongst my books and pictures and comfortable nostalgia,
but the winds are changing.
my world is changing while i am still.
the mountains are calling for me,
"why haven't you returned?" they query.
who couldn't despise the cold any more than I,
yet now all i long for is the shivering embrace of the north.
somehow my heart becomes solid,
frozen and invincible, like the river that rushes beneath me
as i take my place along the train tracks
and feel the earth singing to me.
the time has come to run away from home.
my ears miss that howling whistle,
my skin yearns for that long gust of far-traveled air.
that rush of vibration, that ache for forward motion.
i need to be back at that spot on the tracks
to slow my pulse and make me feel alive,
shake open my lungs, shake open my heart.
i see myself as that winding train
sprinting along the river, waving goodbye to that deep city below,
running away from each frozen station
never looking back, but always coming home.
i want to come home to my mountains.

the alarm clock slaps cold confusion against
my chest
my teeth, they grind
and a flock of birds, in a chorus of flapping
and screeching, take flight in my stomach

the ground lurches under my sore feet
as they recall the miles of tread they've laid
these days
but each step will always be more misguided
than the last

and there's no fear on my face
only pure determination to make these miles
mean something
serenity and childlike curiosity, grounded
and naive

these strange paths carry me with cold force
for i have continued choosing to walk
amongst my demons
following that pale, bright ribbon of
passion and peace

a perpetual force
some kind of factor
my reaction
will always be fear
cost means consequence
consequence means shattered dreams
slow motion second hands
throwing off the whole
clock
a minute costs a dollar
we'll never get anywhere
coffee goes in the gas tank
gasoline runs through our veins
everything breaks
and there's a cost
for every second that's repaired

the moon was shining bright over the exit sign
the halfway point
the meeting place
the music drew me in
your ghost haunting me over the radio
or was it just the smoke i'd just inhaled
telling me i was thirsty

i felt my heartbeat through my chest
my tire treads pressed against sacred ground
for a first kiss warm with laughter
but cold with memories
i couldn't think straight in that parking lot
i couldn't think straight in that convenient store
i was lost in my skin
and alone with my thoughts

so i left that lonely diner to the freezing rain
i let my engine carry me towards the other halfway home
i'm drowsy and ******
but i hit the ground running
away from the haunted convenient store
away from angry memories
but still thirsty for love
in all the wrong places

cloth- the placement of fiber upon fiber
it holds warmth
not living, but surviving
you remind me of autumn
when the mountainside is ablaze with
passionate warmth
es geht mit mir
it goes with me

With heat at my back
and cold on my path,
I'm alone.
There's faces
and a blinking orange light
with question marks
and the door is closed.
The hall is empty.
The glass is cold against my knuckles,
but I just keep breathing,
trying to forget the emptiness.
Somewhere behind me I dropped my soul.
I'll have to go back,
go back, go back.
I can't go back to that place,
that dark, creaking staircase
with blinding sunlight
and short goodbyes.
I open my mouth to speak,
but I only remember two words.
I'm feeling things that aren't there.
I'm waiting for messages that will never appear.
Numb to the weather,
I'll just walk home,
'cause there's nowhere else to go.

her hands are calloused and scarred
from reaching too fast
and hitting all the hard places.
her voice is brightly hoarse and beautifully pained
from singing too loudly
like the tree frogs after a rain storm.
her skin twists and softens
like a stream with the smoothest stones at the bottom.
her face smiles like the moon in summer
and cries like the withered leaves shivering in the cold of winter.
her eyes match the color of the sky when it holds the stars between its fingers.
and sometimes, when the sunlight touches her hair just right, it mirrors the bark of ancient trees.
her wisdom is young.
her love has been murdered,
yet her smile holds the secrets of naive infatuation.
is she a child, or is she a ghost?
is she afraid, or is she jaded?
her body has been thrown from the sky,
yet her bones have never been broken.
she will always know pain
and laugh as it passes under her feet.

I find myself needing to put to paper all the mess that can’t organize itself in my brain.
I’m not quite sure where I’m going with this
It’s nothing poetic, let alone inspiring. Inspired, perhaps.
Yes
Inspired by moonlight
My tired eyes can’t seem to find a way out of the sadness they held for too long. But they’re slowly learning to fall in love again, the same way my heart is.
I’m trying to learn to be strong, baby. I’m teaching myself to be strong for you.
I’m teaching myself to play a song
For you
The lyrics forcing themselves out of your speakers know exactly what to say. They speak our feelings for us. They know what’s in our hearts.
You told me that you feel things. Baby, I think I have that same sickness. It’s the kind that lives in your heart.
If it’s what I’m thinking of, be prepared for trouble. For aching. For longing. Be prepared for words I can’t even begin to remember until they’re there on my lips.
Be prepared for joy. For unvanquished optimism. For the kind of longing that aches in the most beautiful way.

i'll do anything for love
i'll sleep in every bed i find
for the chance to stay alive
i'll wear those blankets proud
i'll cry when i wake up
and scowl at the morning sun
as i walk out the front door
onto the frozen streets
it's a tale as old as time
wherever love is dead
passion for recklessness prevails

i need some arms to fall into
i'm starting to lose my balance
i'm starting to think i'm thirsty
when i've already had too much to drink
i'm waking up in the wrong places
and walking further and further to get home
scowling at the morning sun

knuckled extensions on the fingers of trees
rattle like rain sticks,
their crinkled counterparts scurry across the grass
disguising themselves as field mice
fleeing from the grey clouds.
warbling from the sparrows in the hall
distract me from the television of paned glass.
and meanwhile, back where focus should be solid,
language is used, and wasted, and lost.
understanding sits on a fine, fragile line
where you'd rather be sipping on the freedom of understanding
than feasting on that which is wisdom.
the trees understand that reaching is their only goal
and the dried leaves of yesterday know their role in reincarnation,
but each is also aware of the demise of the other.
and all the people in all the houses,
sheltered by the scabbed and scarred hands of their ancestors,
remain focused towards the scattered, schizophrenic bright light
of the screens in their living rooms
and are completely blinded.
be aware that your senses are the most holy of gifts.
while outside, the planet continues to breathe
and the trees keep reaching.

my mind is at the boarder of two places at once.
one half twists and writhes like smoke in a glass,
the other is still and rigid and heavy.
i walk alone under a canopy of cornstalks
smelling my childhood,
bewildered by the way i've changed.
it feels as though i've been shifted to the left, just a few inches.
nothing looks the same
even though it's just like i remember it.
all i seem to do is wish for things the way they were.
i can't remember how to love anything other than dreams and faux realities.
i can never have my only desire
as long as i keep killing my own ambition.
i can't figure out how to feel anymore,
still just learning how to hide from the connection.

something is wrong. everything is acting so strangely. all i wanted to do was open the window. all i wanted to do was make a pun. say that you believe. we're all floating. on the ground. scream and cry so that everyone can hear. they need to feel your pain. they need to write the words you love. you need to give them words.
something tells me that something is seriously wrong. the liquid is in the wrong can. the surface is too warm. the skin is too warm. that long body is too close. it's too soft. it's too hard.
the music is too happy when i'm not happy enough. the notes are too short. too syncopated. the sun isn't even up. the moon isn't even bright. the sky is heavy with sadness.
my eyes don't like being awake. my ears can't live with the silence. where is the music. where is all that sad music?
my friend has a few more colors than most. but something is very wrong with his mind. he loves to be caught. he loves to be stuck. he loves himself too much to live.
i'm a pen with ink on solid white paper. i'm the background singer. i'm the tapping of fingernails on wood. my noises are unappreciated. but they're so beautiful when you hear them quietly in your sleep.
i'm so sad. i wish crying didn't hurt so badly. i wish i had more pride. or maybe less. my brain is so sad. my body has depression.
that's only if i were you.
i'm in love with skin. i'm high on the way it feels. i'm high on your skin. so please talk to me. and tell me where i should go when i finally meet you. time is so long. where did my balance go?
all these faces are living in my brain. making beautiful music. using their bright smiles to lure me into their beds. why didn't i say no? i have no willpower. i have too much willpower for my own good.
why does it lure me so. there is something wrong with this music. it's getting me high. is it supposed to do that?

my moon is covered in a lacy veil of clouds
but her smiling glow still lands softly
so the pavement sparkles back
with happy songs of glassy light

my moon keeps watch over a sleepy city
and the stray cats howl
just to be sure they're still alive
and the sidewalk rests under an icy blanket
but my thoughts are warmed by the orange glow of streetlights

my moon keeps me calm
as the wind blows away her grey veil
and her face, like that of an earthly goddess,
keeps still in my dreams
she never falters, never fades
and allows me to breathe in deeper than my own lungs ever would

the ground reflects the stars that surround her
as she rises over the spider-legged treetops
frigid air cuts at my face, like the frost under my feet
but each time i open my lungs
a warm rush of moonlight infiltrates my capillaries
and the stray cats call her by name
as she leads me back home
and sings me to sleep

Tied to a post in the ground
in the most particular way
the rains are coming hard
but there's no cover in sight
The sky is crying
as brightly as the moon shines
At rope's end, the air is thinner
Breathing has become arduous
the deeper the sigh, the less substance is left

Somewhere a mourning dove has conquered her stage fright
She's calling to her lover
through the downpour

A spec of blue sky escapes for a second
from its grey prison
but the wind strikes it down
This show must go on
the dreams must prevail
With closed eyes, the storm cannot exist
Without fear, there is no hope

Unable to feel grass beneath bare feet
unable to run until your legs begin to refuse
you curl up like a dog
and the rain bears down
with unruly tenacity

after the sweat has dried
and the sighs have lost their breath
she waits for him to look away
so that she can watch him think
and somehow find her way
through his maze
as the world turns around them
she stumbles, dizzy

vertigo has set in

like the second hand, she spins
like a candle flame, he flickers
wherever they roam,
they always remain

your breath doesn't come steady
soft, like the slow ebb of the sea
it's not gentile
sliding up and down in an unplanned beat.
your chest pushes
your stomach lurches
your breath is calculated and produced.
In your eyes, I see you standing proud,
I hear your heart pleading for freedom,
grateful for the crowds of love pushed upon you,
desperate for peace without words.
In a world where communication is both necessary and impossible,
I can only hope you hear the smile in my eyes
and take its strength.

i think of you, and my memories begin to wrap around me
each breath gives me less air as the python of my anxiety squeezes the life out of me
you toy with my heart
you see these emotions that decorate my sleeves
yet when you speak, your words are cold and swift
as if your eyes have been tightly shut
any kind of tears i could produce would be lost to the ground before you could begin to care
and you let me go on burning
you let me go on, stifled
you go home to your girl
and i'm left reading your words over and over,
pleading with them
begging them to change
i'm left begging you to open your eyes

it's too heavy of a day
to look, with a smile, towards the future sun
when every hour adds weight to the one before
and the moon is rising before the night
hard earth breaks apart under worn soles
breaks apart the silence
and the clouds are stifling the second hand
holding it in place
everyone seems stuck in their sadness
and it takes all the strength of stony muscles
to push through

celebrate the sweet small victories of life
breathe them in
and sing them out
drink up this passion
let it intoxicate your soul
each staggering step towards the end
let yourself be moved by the words of a stranger
feel the embrace of their poetry
meet each challenge with grace
challenge your grace with experience
we must fight!
for pleasure
for pain
each moment is a donation from the universe
we must not let it be abandoned
we must not let it be unlived

you are my
first cup of coffee, warmth in my belly, waking up my veins
you are my
sunset drive home, purple mountains surrounding, clouds heavy and smiling
you keep my
nose warm when i bury it in your chest
you meet my
sudden anxious entropy with a calm triumphant smile
you wear my
favorite smells and softness all over your shirt
you make my
nerves tingle when your breath washes over my skin
when the sun brightly begs through the window
for us to come out and play
you're what keeps me wrapped up in contented sighs
an excuse to be covered in you
when the trials of the day hit me from all angles
and all of my helping power is depleted
you, standing tall and strong,
recharge me

my heart rushes like a waterfall
i'm falling
full speed toward soft grass
tasting its moment as it breathes
the mountains huddle close around me
protecting me from the end of the world
while my thoughts ascend and float
above my head like smoke
and into the nests of the little birds in the trees
the future is upon us
hiding in the trees
when the wind carries it into my hands
i'll put it in your pocket for safekeeping
i'll follow that river that sprung from your waterfall

the mountains close in
their rippled arms wrap around us to embrace
our bodies seem to find each other
pressed against
through the dry air
the dust
the thickness
the strong beacon of your face
shines
anywhere in this desert i can find it
in the sun:
with its passionate heat
its heart bursting for the life below
in the moon:
calm and gentile
serene and wise
in the trees:
sparse but strong, they hold truth
standing tall and silent

i've been asking the sun about love
i've begged the moon to share her wisdom
but those trees keep their secrets and
they've taught me
to see words in your silence
they've shown me to search
every branch
every beam of light
search for the beacon that leads me to love and wisdom
and when the time comes for it to be found
i'll see it in your face

was it clear when we kissed?
Did something in my eyes say: 'Run away'?
when I grabbed your hand,
did you decide then that I never would again?
was something I said too honest or true?
Is my attraction too naive?
Are my feelings too new?
was the flower too clean?
was that penny on the train tracks too flat?
was your journey so far
you were afraid of not finding your way back?
when I sang you my song, were the harmonies off?
when you touched my skin it must not have been soft.
The train still hasn't come
and there's an empty spot on the floor
and the phone doesn't have that happy ring
that it had a month before.
How could it hurt? I know you're asking.
All these inadequacies keep a person alone.
watching you leave,
no more words on the phone,
the bruises are nothing new.
But come clean.
Please, dear, tell me truthfully-
was it my skin? my eyes? my heart?
when was the final scene where it was meant to fall apart?
I may seem strong, but I fell apart.

The birds cry out
for the clouds are stained with the orange glow
of the populations beyond
The dusk grows heavy
and the forest begins to move in on me
It slides in closer, leaning it's shadows over my head
In the pastures beyond, the horses search the dirt with strong lips
for that sweet green grass
But out there, the wind bites
Here the trees protect me and keep me warm
They hug me with wooden arms
and wrap blankets of leaves around my shoulders
And even though the darkness is thick and alive
i feel nature breathe and i feel safe

she sends wishes to the rooftops below her
with a nod and a sigh
This tiny city seems so big when she's stuck in the middle
tall on a mountain of concrete and asphalt
while thick little raindrops kiss her skin
and she breathes in the air she misses every afternoon on the way home
She inhales the wishes that settled from the rooftops
She feels a gust of peace as she passes the cathedral door
and catches a glimpse of the sad riot of color that paints the windows
The solemn  composition of a prayer carries out into the air
but then softly diminishes among stone and steel
She sighs as she recognizes the harsh beauty
the sad revival
the colorful cold
She sees the world with eyes for beautiful sadness
She loves what surrounds her with hard comfort
and for all it's worth
she knows this isn't where she belongs
So she leaves the concrete behind
and leaves her wishes to the rooftops

with everything that's happened
i hold this still to be true
i am like a tree
steady and strong
vulnerable and sad in the winter
my imperfections exposed
i drink too much coffee
i drink too much wine
i shiver and shake and let the wind push me around
and when the sun comes out
there's a strength that shines down on me
so that i can bloom and give and thrive
and you would never know the pain i've suffered
even if you chop me down
every bit of me has life and purpose
you can use me to mold and create
i will not cry, i will not mourn my own demise
for i have not yet met any such thing
i am like the house the tree created
unwavering, immobile but without roots
overflowing with memory
overwhelmed with nostalgia
anyone under my roof has become my brother
everyone who sits at my table is my mother
the world grows and crumbles around me
and i slowly decay in my own time
silently strong, i let them decorate me
they carry my comfort as their own
and i smile as they use me to the bone
i am like the operating table
i am like the flower that opens to the moonlight
i am like the paper upon which they document their dreams
all of these things provide strength through the darkness
i cannot falter

numbers numbers
i'm gathering information!
is this a bad time?
of course i'd love a cigarette
no i'm not selling anything
i just want to pick your brain
and ask you about any diseases you might have
just gathering some information, ma'am
ma'am?
hello?
please don't call here anymore
ok, we'll try back another time

the corners of glued pages
are turning brown with age
years have grown the children in the pictures
life has aged their eyes
time has hardened their hearts
to the beauty of a back yard
the serenity of a home surrounded by trees
there's enough money for everyone to share
but fat cats keep us from being free
and our focus is on green
money
not grass
oh to be a child again
to be completely oblivious
to the entire outside world
beyond the safety of the fields and farms
and the rolling hills
as real as the pictures

hundreds of minutes have passed
thousands of ticks from the second hand
photographs
empty glasses
empty classrooms
empty dreams

what happens after starting over?

you're so warm
I don't want to sleep
for fear of losing you
to the night.
you're so comfortable
I don't want you to leave
my bed will grow cold.
if you were mine
I'd never sleep
to keep you safe from the shadows.
you help me burn brighter
my smile just can't go away.
and even as the autumn winds chill
you stay warm for me.

I can see so clearly through my window
that the lights are playing games with me
but your hands don't play games
they get straight to the point.
And our mouths meet
and you become serious and determined
and my breaths are jagged.
Your shoulders are home to constellations
your eyes are home to some kind of emptiness
and I am left wanting.

the neighborhood dogs
disguise themselves as packs of wild animals
they're singing the songs of their ancestors
giving in to that primal urge
to scream of their conquests
the dull, breezy spring starlight
is unimpressed
the city is overcome with sleep
resting hard
waiting for warmth
and the beasts return from their battles
to curl at the feet of their masters
and dream of a savage bloodline
they'll never know

I smoked a cigarette in Times Square
The streets seemed light as day
With the full moon joining in on the neon party above
I made my way underground
And the subway rattled and swayed its way to Queens
Then I emerged to see your bright silhouette
Your fingers touched the sky
And I could have held you all night on that sidewalk

I drank tea at your tiny kitchen table
The January skyline sat just outside your window
It was the first time the color grey made me smile
And your tiny frame continues to carry you through time
And in our worlds apart I’ve wondered if your city ever wonders about me
I wonder if you hold our short, quiet life together the way I do
Sometimes I wish it could have lasted
We could have hibernated
The skyline could have watched us from afar
As we held ourselves captive
Forever trapped in Queens

we ride to the edge of our destiny,
turn around, and flee.
we're fueled by reckless thoughts,
we despise being careful,
and yet we're so sensitive to the opinions
of all those other fish in this big blue sea.
we're good at what we do,
lying to ourselves to make due.
living with things we hate,
hating what makes us happy.
knowing that nothing ever works,
but settling for what happens.
keeping the tension, even though we know
it's killing us,
it's what we're good at,
it somehow makes us strong.

Oh what a mess you’ve placed before me
What a body I lust for
It didn’t take me long to get lost
And the danger you brought
Is only the beginning
Will the end come as hastily as the beginning?
Or will I always be bound to indecisive confusion
Stuck reaching for a perfection I’ll never find

We couldn’t so quickly hide from the cool evening sun
But the rest of the world was blind
To our blatant hunger for night
Yet since we had to settle in abandoned lots
We fed each other in quiet passion
And deepened a hole that was dug
One lonely night that never should have been
And so, in that hole, our quiet mess will sit

you draw me in just like you always do
and my skin begins to buzz
daylight shines and reflects in your pale eyes
your frailty hides behind the snarl in your lips
and i've never seen you so focused
as you watch the smoke slide away from its chimney home
as you watch my skin slide between your fingers
i breathe you in as much as i can hold
only you can give my body this freedom
you bury your face in my hair
and you slide your fingers across my chin and towards my throat and
softly, like a leaf cutting ripples through placid water,
they create a path in my skin
i'm silently begging you to stay here in this bright room
as you bring me back to those nights we'd lay together
awake in the flickering blaze of the television
lost in each others' skin
thank you for cradling me in your long arms one last time