It could almost be mistaken for
being in the same room
as we study the lines on each other's eyes
and sing to each other the harmonies
of pain and lust.
I could have sworn, just the other day
we were using fingertips to study the way
our cheeks rise when we make each other smile
and the creases around our mouths
are heavy with thought.
It's almost as if I'd give anything
to press my forehead against yours
as if to transfer some kind of light between us.
But instead, it seems, I'm doomed to be trapped
in the two hours of space lost to the thousands
of miles from your body to mine.

something is wrong. everything is acting so strangely. all i wanted to do was open the window. all i wanted to do was make a pun. say that you believe. we're all floating. on the ground. scream and cry so that everyone can hear. they need to feel your pain. they need to write the words you love. you need to give them words.
something tells me that something is seriously wrong. the liquid is in the wrong can. the surface is too warm. the skin is too warm. that long body is too close. it's too soft. it's too hard.
the music is too happy when i'm not happy enough. the notes are too short. too syncopated. the sun isn't even up. the moon isn't even bright. the sky is heavy with sadness.
my eyes don't like being awake. my ears can't live with the silence. where is the music. where is all that sad music?
my friend has a few more colors than most. but something is very wrong with his mind. he loves to be caught. he loves to be stuck. he loves himself too much to live.
i'm a pen with ink on solid white paper. i'm the background singer. i'm the tapping of fingernails on wood. my noises are unappreciated. but they're so beautiful when you hear them quietly in your sleep.
i'm so sad. i wish crying didn't hurt so badly. i wish i had more pride. or maybe less. my brain is so sad. my body has depression.
that's only if i were you.
i'm in love with skin. i'm high on the way it feels. i'm high on your skin. so please talk to me. and tell me where i should go when i finally meet you. time is so long. where did my balance go?
all these faces are living in my brain. making beautiful music. using their bright smiles to lure me into their beds. why didn't i say no? i have no willpower. i have too much willpower for my own good.
why does it lure me so. there is something wrong with this music. it's getting me high. is it supposed to do that?

I simply cannot forgive
myself for the restlessness of my heart
for I have burned
and I have splintered
and I have crushed
the hearts of others
And so, exposure
brings back the demons of the past
and the hurt and the loss
I have caused
and I have endured

Keeping the pain close by
Also keeps the beauty of the memory from being forgotten
Remembering the electricity of the
Moment sends a shock through my concience
And all I can do is learn and grow and be

be the pain. be the memory. be here now.

my body
had been recycled in this way
and I was too eager
for ****** revolution
to even notice the damage I'd notice
in the future
as I'm thanking the universe
that my mind is still so free
and my body
is beautiful

my body
is a furiously perfect thing

my body is
undeniably forgiving

when I told my body a terrible lie
and denied it of it's true instinct
it remained graceful
it remained peaceful

for all the recklessness
all of the invisible pain
I have put my body through
it still loves me

and I am so grateful to my body
for somehow protecting me
despite myself

it is everything I need
to allow my mind
to feel beautiful

your breath doesn't come steady
soft, like the slow ebb of the sea
it's not gentile
sliding up and down in an unplanned beat.
your chest pushes
your stomach lurches
your breath is calculated and produced.
In your eyes, I see you standing proud,
I hear your heart pleading for freedom,
grateful for the crowds of love pushed upon you,
desperate for peace without words.
In a world where communication is both necessary and impossible,
I can only hope you hear the smile in my eyes
and take its strength.

it's too heavy of a day
to look, with a smile, towards the future sun
when every hour adds weight to the one before
and the moon is rising before the night
hard earth breaks apart under worn soles
breaks apart the silence
and the clouds are stifling the second hand
holding it in place
everyone seems stuck in their sadness
and it takes all the strength of stony muscles
to push through