The sun sets on sand castles
While the waves crash against my feet
Wind whistles past me, catching my hair
Playfully whipping it, tossing it as it does the sea

Last gold rays set the water on fire
Light rippling on every wave crested in white
Life around me quiets as the wind dies down
The only sound in the hush of the waves in the night

Some times the slightest touch
From someone you never knew much
Makes your heart go wild
With the pitter-patter
And nothing else matters.

Dark hair with a blond streak
Brown eyes that make me weak,
Dark brown eyes full of laughter.
You've stepped in my life
And now I'm falling, outta time

Gentle, strong hand on my waist
Pull me closer don't make me wait
To feel your lips on mine
To feel your body pressed against me
Feel your heart beat

When I'm with him
Everything else goes away.
The loneliness,
The insecurity,
The never ending feeling of
Loss.

Everything goes away
The drama,
The world,
The never ending feeling of
Worthlessness

Everything goes away
The crowds,
The noise,
The never ending feeling of
Confusion.

When he's holding me
I feel safe
I feel warm
I feel like life
Is finally beautiful

He makes my dreams
Into reality
He makes my life
Full of wonder
He makes me
*Whole

Waking up the next morning
The cross burns on my chest
Reaching, stabbing to my heart.

A one night stand
A single hazy passion
Now only a life without you

And I know when you find out
Your heart will break
And I'll break too

Maybe though,
You won't find out
Maybe...

But the skeleton hangs
Stark white in my closet
Waiting for the world to see

The cross burns deeper
As my cheeks burn, embarrassed
That I thought to lie to you

Then I see you
The chain tightens
Choking me

I can't stop myself
I tell you everything
Thinking maybe you'll forgive me

But no..
You just walk away

"Hey let's take a walk."
He's hesitant..
He won't hold my hand
But I guess I will just go along

"I'm not sure how to say this,"
Oh no.. not this...
"I don't think we should be together.
"I found out about him"

How...
I swear my heart has stopped
I grow cold, as if ice had stabbed me
A lump sticks in my throat,
Making it hard to breathe
But I refuse to let the tears out
I refuse to let him see the heart ache

"Erin?"

Right, I have to respond
"Yeah.. I guess we just..
Weren't meant to be together"
But we could have been
"I'm sorry"

One last hug
One last look
Then he just walked away
Leaving me with a feeling
I've felt too often

Alone.

I need the melody
I need the harmonies
But no
Somebody trapped my melody

They say if you're a poet at twenty
You're twenty
But, if your a poet at forty
You're a poet.

I feel like I'll never make it.
Some times I wonder why
I'm a poet,
Or more why I believe
I could be
A poet.

The only time I write
Are the days I cry myself
To sleep

Will I always have to cry
To be able to write
What's bottled up somewhere
Inside?

Will my words only come
When my heart feels broken
And my world begins to go
Black?

I hope not..

You say you won't come, but you never leave
Then say you don't care,
                                But I don't believe

Still promise a chance for me to see you soon
Just step in a dance to a song in tune
My song's made of words that lure you in
Every move filled with pure sin

You say you don't look, say you don't see
You say you won't listen,
                                But I don't believe

I join one hand with yours as the other lingers
Tracing your body with gentle knowing fingers
Listen to my voice sing a minor melody
Feel my eyes enchant you with the love you see

You say you aren't hooked, say you will leave
But you don't pull away,
                                 And I don't believe

Respond to the beauty you know you can't resist
My graceful harmonies and taunting kiss
You can't pull away for a moment, always come back to me
You might be refusing, but you know you won't leave

You said you'd never love
But you don't believe

I am not a girl in your eyes
I play basketball with the guys
I work on cars
I willingly get *****

But I don't fit in.

I am not a guy
I like dresses
I like to look beautiful
I willingly suffer in 4 inch heels

I don't fit in.

I can't cook like most girls.
I can't act like most girls
But I am a girl.. technically

I am a singer
Of any and every song that can be sung.
I am a writer
Of tales of truth and treachery
Of secrets and stories
Of love and loss
I am an artist
Or so they say

I don't fit as a guy
I don't fit as I girl
I don't fit in any one group
I fit as me

And I am the only one

And some times being the only one
Means being alone

Why are you going to Nashville?
"Business,
That's all I can tell you."

I hug tighter to his chest.
I know what ever it is
I shouldn't know.
I can pretend I don't.
But I know he won't be safe tonight

I look into his eyes
Endless blue skies filled with love
Gaze back at me

"Be careful, love"
I can barely whisper
"I always am, my angel.
This won't be the last time you see me"

I attempt a laugh
"It better not, I'd **** you"
I hesitate
"or rekill you."

One last kiss.
Before he leaves
"Be good" I tell him
"I know you can't keep that promise,
But I can at least tell myself I told you"

"I love you, angel."

I love you too my Hunter..

The wind whispers through the trees
Softly singing, trying to comfort me
But no song could sing me to sleep
On a night when the stars are so bright
That they look like the lights that were in your eyes

Before everything went wrong
Once upon a time the breeze sang our song
In the moonlight we would dance along
If I fell, I was always caught in your arms
We dared the world to tell us we had to be alone

Never make a dare you can't take if it's done
Your songs will turn to empty sound
Your love will decide to turn around

Your stary nights will turn
To whispering winds and darkening skies

I wish I could respond to what you write,
But it would all be the same.
You leave me breathless and curious.
You make me think and I love it.
I don't know what I could say
That would be anything
Worth hearing next to your words.

I hope the day reality hits me
Takes its time in coming
With the blow

I want to spend my days dreaming,
Wishing on shooting stars,
And believing the world is somehow
Beautiful

I hope the day I take off my crown
Takes it's time before I have to realize I'm not
A princess

I want to spend my days fighting pirates
And thinking happy thoughts
So I can fly to that place
Where my dreams really do come true

I hope the day I have to grow up
Is still only the day I have to come home
From Neverland

I want to dance in the sun
And play in the pool and pretend I'm a mermaid
I want to believe
I'm something more than just
Me

I hope the day reality hits me
Is a long time coming
Because the beautiful world I live in
Is all just make believe

What did you feel when you felt me up
The instant hesitation then growing infatuation
What did you feel when you touched my chest
The heart beat pulsing, all my nerves beginning to sing
What did you feel when you felt my skin
The soft warm canvas already painted with sins

That night you were chocolate melting against me
You were rough hands turned gentle
Caressing my everything
You were dancer, singer, poet, dreamer
You were deep brown eyes that pulled me in
Strong brown hands that drew new lines of sin
In poetry on my skin
You were the midnight sky,
I, the moon light and stars.

I made wishes on every star brighter than my scars
I wished to see you again
But again never came
It didn't matter anyway
You would have left me just the same
Sitting alone in the silence
Remembering the feel of your skin
Seeing the dark eyes that pulled me in
Tracing the lines of poetry
You drew on my canvas skin
Already painted with too many sins

A setting sun shines in his face
Lighting in his eyes
That are bluer than the bluest skies

From the moment his eyes meet mine
There's a flutter in my heart
I can barely breathe

I curl into his chest
His arms wrapped around me
My world is safe with him
I look into his face
Kiss his nose, teasing

His hands
Strong and large
Gently brush my hair
Barely touching as if I were a flower

Leaning into his chest
I feel his heart beat against mine
Strong next to my flutter

He lifts my face to look at him
His calloused hand soft on my cheek
His clear eyes hold my ever changing eyes
I lean in, hesitant

But when our lips meet it's so perfect
Impossibly gentle for the passion
My body goes weak, he holds me closer
A soft chuckle tells me he knows why
Only a few more kisses before he has to leave

"I love you my angel"
His voice barely even a whisper
"Always and forever?" is all I can reply
"You will be my angel, my love, my hope, until the day I die."

Glancing in the mirror
At her broken reflection
She says to herself
One size smaller...
Just one size smaller

But you can see the ribs through her shirt
But not how much she hurts
There aren't scars on her arms
Just scars on her heart
From endless days wondering
When will life start

She says to herself
Just dress in black
And I'll pretend to be a shadow
Or fly to the sky
And become the storm cloud
That unleashes rains like my tears
And my voice will thunder too loud

Still she is silent somehow
She whispers to the mirror
Just a bit more makeup
And I'll fit in with the crowd

But you only see dark rings
Around blood shot eyes
Only blood red lips
That once knew how to sing
There aren't scars on her arms
Just scars on her heart
From endless days wandering
Crowded streets alone
Endless days with no home

She says to herself
Just dress in yellow
And I'll pretend I'm happy
Or fly to the sky
And become the sun
Bright and full of life

Just one size smaller
Stand a bit taller
But no, she's gone too far
All thats left is a scar
On her wrist bright as stars
Except stars are seen
When they first come into being
And this child will never know
Anything but being
Alone

They are my life,
My soul,
My heart.
How do I let that show
They are my words
My creations
How do I let them go

I say I want to be heard
But do I want them to hear me
Do I want them to know me
Once I speak, it can't be unspoken.

Every word is a memory
A part of me
How many parts
Do I have to give away
How much beauty,
How much love,
How many words
Can I say

I say my voice is power
But I manage to remain silent
I say I want to be seen
But I manage to remain invisible

They are my life,
My love,
My hope.
How do I let that show
They are my breath,
My song,
My spirit
Everything of me nobody knows

They are my heart beats, my dreams
They are everything I believe
My words are everything
Nobody seems to see

              Still...
                    Do I want to let it show?

When you photograph a memory
You keep it for life
For tears, for laughter
For love, for hope
For remembering those golden days

But an image fades
And it disappears in that file
Alone in the dark
Till maybe one day
Someone will see it
And smile or shed a tear
To see your life
In that photograph of your memory

A clear blue sky
A mountain stream
The sunlight on the water
Beauty

A mother and a child
A golden ring of promise
An angel's touch
Love

A whispering wind
A bird cooing softly
The voice of nature
Peace

A baby's laugh
A brilliant smile
Joy

A comforting light
A rainbow overhead
Hope

They ask me who I am
But I can't answer in words
For I am the one to

Give you hope
When you are lost
Give you joy
When your world is dark

Give you love
When you need it most
Give you beauty
When your eyes are closed

Give you peace
When chaos reigns

I am more than words
I am life
I am music.

Not four letters,
Not even three.
Just two simple letters
Could change everything

So why is it so hard
To talk to you
To just say
*Hi

I just want to be invisible
To not have to stand
In front of the world
That criticizes everything

To not have to stand
Against a father
That tells me to just work harder
To not have to stand
At attention
As I receive every insult

But mostly,
I don't want to stand
In front of the mirror
And see my biggest critic of all

Some days I wish I was invisible
Nobody could hear me
Nobody would see me
It would be as it was
It was so much simpler then.

I didn't have to laugh
Every time someone made a joke
I could be in the shadows
And be alone

Its great to be heard
When I have something to say
But I don't want to talk
Just to fill a space

Its great to be seen
When I think I'm invincible
But I don't want to pretend
I just want to be invisible

Do you still think of me?
When the world seems
To have left me behind.
Do you think of me
When you smile and laugh
In the distance.

All I can think of is your eyes
How they use to look at me
With love and passion
Now they barely glance
For a moment in my direction

Do you love me as you did
When you wiped away my tears
When you held me
When I wanted to die
Do you love me still
Are you even still mine?

You held me in your arms
Yet still my tears fell

On the darkened floor
Full of swaying bodies
And flashing lights
Only this moment was still

I wouldn't look you in the eyes
But I knew you could see

In this blackened room
Full of pulsing music
And endless confusion
Only my love ceased to be

I looked away from you
Broke away from your arms

In the cold night air
Benethe diamonds in the skies
And endless beauty
Only my heart beat in the silence

I stood alone in the dark
As a gentle rain began to fall

Breath deeply
Close eyes
Touch the keys
Write what's in me*

Step back in time
Open my Eyes to the light

I see the glint of amber light
Flit from string to string
Warming the bow and arm

My Eyes cloud, blurring the memory

But I remember the sound
Not every note or line
But the beauty
From every breath and mind

My Eyes drift, begin to close
I sigh, I do not wish to open my eyes
To the typing keys, and reality

Close my eyes,
Breathe soft and deep.
Feel the music
Wash over me.

Release my worries
Step away from life
Sway with the rhythm
Dance in the light

Close my eyes
I don't need to see
The music surrounding
Shows the world to me

Music is my voice
When I cannot speak
Music is my sight
When I don't need to see

Ask me who I  am.
Ask me of my story
Pretend you care about my life
But ignore the scars on my body

I am but a shadow in the field
Haunted by those ****** whips I fear
Taunted by those freedom songs
Broken by tear stained years

I am a shadow of a human
No, not even human, an animal
I'm a number
A price, a nobody, expendable

Look me in the face
And know that only we slaves
Will die alone with endless scars
And empty eyes in our last days

You asked me who I am
You thought you knew my story
You see the broken child inside
Only now it's too late to say I'm sorry

I stood watching the rain
From beneath the shallow shelter
Of a ledge outside my doorway

They said it was nearly freezing
But the cold didn't touch me,
And the rain barely brushed me

I stood watching the world
From beneath the shallow shelter
Of my wealthy life

They said children were dying
But the worry didn't touch me
And their pain barely brushed me

I stood watching the icy rain
But the only thing truly frozen
Is the place where my heart
Lies sheltered beneath a shallow life
Of cold money and lies

Silvery flakes fall
Glittering in the pale light
Of the full moon

The raven flies
On silent wings
A silent shadow
In the quiet night

Only a quiet whisper
A single dreamer's voice
A single hopeful song
Echoes through the shadows

A silvery wish
Glittering in the pale light
Of the full moon

White weather falling
To glisten below
The sunlight reflecting
Crystalline rainbows

Tears flow softly
To freeze in an instant
Chilling my mind
Past so many walls, resistant

Sorrow hidden  
Carefully behind my smile
Not many have noticed
The pain in my eyes

White weather falling
To glisten below
But I'm all alone
In the beautiful December snow

My words will flow
Like the waves or a breeze
To touch every heart
I hope to put at ease

Though my breath is gone
And my body still
My voice is strong
Still here to help if it will

Perhaps a smile or laugh
Is all you remember
Perhaps thats all you need
To my love remember

My life will live
Through those hearts still here
My love will flourish
Through those hearts not tears

What happens if I meet your eyes?
Those dark brown eyes
I secretly love.

What happens if you meet my eyes?
My hazel eyes
That secretly long for you.

I'm afraid you will see,
See the dreams,
The wishes,
I wish when I see you.

What happens if you hold my gaze?
Will you see all the broken dreams?
The dreams shattered,
Shattered when I saw her.

What happens when you see my eyes?
My hazel eyes
That just want to see you.

I live behind a white picket fence
In the world of a wealthy child
I have everything I could want
Except the chance, or choice, to be wild
I live in a perfect brick house
With cobblestone drive and manicured lawn
I live in the perfect world
But I dream of what is beyond
My perfect white picket fence

Tell me you love me
Take me by the hand
Whisper sweet nothings
Tell me stories of far off lands

Write me a story
It can exciting or put me to sleep
It can be awful or a beautiful creation
But write it just for me

Tell me good morning
With a smile or "my angel"
Start my day with a little laughter
Tell me I'm beautiful

Draw me a picture
Of anything or everything
In stick figures or perfectionism
But draw it just for me

Protect me from harm
From people and broken hearts
Fight for my love everyday
Like you fought from the start

Tell me you love me
Till I know it must be true
Make me feel special
And I'll fight for you too

Like a life that is searching for that echo of lost love,
Your single soul is searching for truth in a hell of lies.
Too long have you waited, simply keeping silent,
Waiting to leave the dark that sings only shadowed songs.
Unlike dreamers that only dream of the dark called death,
Your single heart is dreaming of finding a breath of beauty.

A photograph of a memory, your only memory of beauty,
Reminds you always of the joy and pain of love.
Reminds you always how a breaking heart feels like death.
Reminds you always of how many times you believed his lies.
That photograph of your memory, reminiscent of all those country songs,
Is the reason your heart is still and your voice, silent.

But something inside is yelling, telling you not to stay silent.
It knows your pleas to find a way to believe in beauty.
Listen, it says, life sings the most discordant yet harmonic songs.
Listen to the symphonies in nature and fall in love.
Fall in love with waterfalls and the winds, not the one who lies.
Listen for the laughs of lives that have defied death.

For too many days you have seen only the black of death,
For too many months your world has been silent,
For too many years all you had been told were lies.
But it only takes a blink of the eye to see the light of beauty.
It only takes a moment to fall into the rhapsody of love
You only have to take a chance to be the melody of love's radiant songs.

Then again.. who are you but the sharp note that belongs only in forgotten songs?
Who are you but the smallest breath just waiting for death?
Who are you but the thorn on a rose given in love?
Who are you but the echo of a whisper, almost silent?
Who are you but the nightmare that breaks a dream's beauty?
And who are you to believe you are these lies?

You are a single soul searching to find truth in this hell of lies,
A soul fighting to leave darkness that sings shadowed songs.
You are a single heart dreaming of that light called beauty,
A heart refusing to dream of that dark called death.
You are a beautiful voice that won't be kept silent,
A voice singing with a soul that knows there is love.

You know there is more love than lies.
You can hear those once silent songs.
You know you can fight against the death of Beauty.

He smiled
That was all I remember from that day
That's all that mattered.
His hair feathered,
His eyes deep,
His body... sigh...
Incredible.
He might seem like everybody else
But there is something different about him
He has a gasp personality?
What an amazing thing.
Not something found in highschool anymore

But all that I really love
Is that smile
It takes my breath away
Takes my words away
(Annoyingly)
Its a real smile.
And its perfect

All I could ask for
Is that he would smile,
Just once,
For me.
Only me.

Clipboard oh clipboard
Oh where could you be
Right when I need you
Please don't hate me

Clipboard oh clipboard
I have homework to do
Clipboard sweet clipboard
Where are you!

A pheonix rises to greet the sun
Ashes falling from a life just begun
Against the hollow depths of the shadowed night
This bird rises in glorious flames to fight
With songs of the soul that can't be kept silent
He lifts his wings high into the darkening dusk
But the last rays of the sun turn this pheonix into dust
His shadow joins the darkness of the sorrowed skies
And the life and light in his eyes slowly dies

He seems to be lost, but as the sun rises to light
He flies across the sky sharing his fire of life
As he soars through the air, hope on his wings,
He vanquishs the midnight with the beauty he brings

Lonely isle in a deep blue sea
Like the lonely child
Deep inside of me

Searing stars in the midnight sky
Like the searing scars, white,
Where the blood has dried

Lingering presense in the darkened night
Like the linging essence
Of the forboding fright

Sinister whispers burn in the cold crisp air
Like the sinister embers
In my empty stare

Haunting screams in the abysmal deep
Like the haunting dreams
That terrorize my sleep

Eyes meet yours
No sound is made
Pain filled silence
Ever stayed

Hidden wonder
In your smile
Endless possiblities
Go on for miles

But I am seeing nothing
But mindless
Painful
Confusion

Broken hearted
Spirit killed
Future unknown
My heart
*still

The twilight sky is silent
The world for once at peace
Though only the brush of an angel's wings
Could give me final release

Then the dawn is slowly waking
With a breath of cold clear air
But the sun will warm me quickly
Knowing my angel might be there

Sun shining bright above me
But my heart has turned to ice
Too slow it beats so weakly
For now I know I have lost her twice

The tears fall from my heart
For I wish she was here with me
In all of my dreams, I dream of her
And forever with her I wish I could be.

I live in this world
But at night I live as stars
I sing in our language 
But in my voice hear my scars

I breathe the same air
But my lungs refuse its life
I sing the same words
But no sound falls on your ears

I create what you know
But what can you understand
I create what you see
But will you choose to look

I wish I could let you hear my memories.
Of the sound of a baby who laughs at a smile.
Of the sound of a tear as it falls.
The sound of a gentle hand wiping it away.
Of the sound of the tread of my shoes
Along a path in the woods
As I follow the sound of a waterfall.
The sound of the waterfall that was just out of reach.
The sound of a cello playing
As if a life's soul was being played.
The sound of a choir singing
With everything they have
Because they need to be heard.
I wish you could hear it.
I wish you could hear what I hear.
You would love it too.
I wish you could hear the music
In the whistle of the winds.  
I wish I could let you hear the way I do.
The crash of the waves against the shore.
The seagulls crying.
The whispers of life in the air.
I wish you could hear life like I do.
Everything in life is a symphony.
Life is the most complex yet simple,
Chaotic yet harmonic,
Discordant yet perfect
Song of the heart, mind, and soul.

As I am writing this
I wish these words weren't true
But I must say
I can not love you

You have broken my heart
And thrown it in the dirt
Thank you for showing me
How much love can hurt

I gave you my heart,
My love, my trust
But as soon as I was out of sight
Your love has turned to dust

The promises of waiting
And always loving me
Have seemed to disappear
To leave me in agony

I told you I would love you
Until the day I die
I have kept my promise
Even when you lied

No longer do I keep silent
You have caused me too much pain
I feel you have betrayed me
When I was only beginning to love again

I'm not sorry for loving you
Though I feel I shouldn't have
It seems my perfect angel
Is still waiting for me above

No more tears will fall from my heart
For the mistake of loving you
This much so far I say my dear
That from this day is true

I can't forget about you
But remembering is killing me
Goodbye my use to be angel
You don't have to worry about me

Stand brave my soldier boy
For your home and country
Stand strong my soldier boy
For my weak heart

Sing loud my soldier boy
So I may hear you in the night
Listen hard my soldier boy
I sang a song for you

Shoot straight my soldier boy
Protect me from harm
But shoot not, my soldier boy
When it need not be done

Let your heart beat my soldier boy
To the beat of a thousand hearts
Let your heart beat, my soldier boy
For your loved ones at home

I miss you my soldier boy
For too long you have been gone
I miss you my soldier boy
For home does not feel like home

Come home my soldier boy
When the fighting is done
Come home my soldier boy
To hear our wedding bells' song