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 May 2014 Erin Atkinson
Yasi
all the mugs of caramel tea
piles of thick, warm blankets
and romance novels
in the entire world
couldn't comfort me
as well as you can
In Somnia
     We don't sleep at night
So we tend to dream in the day
   Never fully knowing
If we're ever fully awake

Today
   I felt an earth quake
And it made my life shake
  & I wondered
        Is this
    My
      wake?

I heard whispers
    On the wind
Of a tornado
    As it spinned
& I pondered
   Are these my sins

A tsunami
    Came on me
And it calmed me
   As it thundered
& I wondered
   Am I really
A
   W
       A
           K
               E

           In Somnia
   We can't sleep at night
So we tend to dream in the day
  Never fully knowing
If we're ever fully awake
I miss you
But someday soon
My aim will improve
A girl named Karma met me on the road
She said, open your eyes when you’re through

Now burnt sage may erase a lover’s rage
And a pretty girl's face may seal your fate
One way or maybe two

We plucked flowers from her life like memories laid upon an open casket
Lowering ourselves into the ground, deep,
like a purple hue hanging on a spring time skyline
Now, I’m not sure why life lives on the edge of death
nor the reason why young people die
I suppose it’s just the way of things,
and that can only ever be the logical explanation for anything occurring here or anywhere,
physical beauty fades just as a sunset, and even if you capture a picture, nothing can replace that feeling of being there, standing,
baring witness to the all encompassing fruit of the immaculate conception permeating all existence,
like a deaf child struck dumb hearing his first sound
or feeling the wetness of rain
and smelling the earth after its fall,  
I am

Now Karma, she said something so interesting to me
She said, you may not be here tomorrow
That’s the way it goes I suppose
One moment you’re here, and then you’re gone
Its all a surprise, even to the dying, but of course we’re all dying,
just some of us live along the way,
young death be a thief of sorts,
stealing into your home in the dead of night,
taking you abruptly like a dark epiphany,
robbing vitality, corrupting the seasons,
injecting nonsense into the blood stream of our way of things,
yet nothing he takes he wouldn’t get
So I ask you
How many nights will you sit beside a fire
feeling a part of the realness surrounding you?
When that crooked deal passes your way, and its time to count the chips, cashing in, will you be able to smile at the dealer and say thanks,
your tires swerving into a dusty stop like a heaven bound jalopy
come crushing through the gates,
leaping four steps at a time

Now people talk about what isn’t fair, but there is no such thing as fair
Just like some days it rains and some days it snows
Some days it’s cold and some days you can lay in the sun,
we learn to live in the weather
And some of us talk about it
and most of us drink water
These seem to be the way of things.
The paradoxical nature of the observer unable to comprehend infinite scale, yet still experiencing it.  
We are names made of stars existing on a grain of sand,
our universe a droplet of rain in a spring storm,
yet boundless as an archer firing an arrow that never lands,
everything a larger version of something small,
everything a smaller version of something large

Within this paradox exists a search for meaning,
we all long to do things that speak for themselves,
the value being intrinsic,
like deeds of gold,
but after the funeral we realize the power of the word.
We promise every year to have a living funeral,
and be speakers for the dead,
detailing the reasons why we had love.

Now, I'm not sure what I like more
the taste of candy sweet or the view
but from her mouth I heard the sound
Don't do to me as I have done to you
So from this place I took a page
from the sinners oath of truth
kneeling down before barbed crown
feeling the subtle point slice through
Knowing what is said and done
will certainly cycle back to you
WIP, dedicated to Courtney Short's memory
Waking up feeling as if I were born tired
Missing the on ramp to the free way
lost in the alleys, back tracking

Rebelling against the Universe
I Slap away the open hand
and eschew greener pastures
for a land sewn with salt
I Lick the bitter taste spread across my cracked lips
and dream of loving hot sand
slipping through my fingertips.

I once bottled the wind,
and believed that lightning bugs lasted forever in a jar,
when the luminescence faded,
alone with an empty bottle and a jar,
I popped the tab open to release the wind,
a peacock feather flew from my brim,
away into the unknown.

I stared into the jar
and saw knives piercing hearts
My own heart began to bleed
one hundred barrels of boiling quicksilver
bathed in ache
contaminating my chest

exposed, naked in front of a mirror,
I took off my mask and stared into black shadow holes,
I held out my arms for 11 minutes,
index fingers pointing to Jupiter
raged with a primal yell and saw
the animal inside my face,
alive, quaking red,
a bulging flesh emersion of veins and teeth,
and shiny eyes that see into the night
breaking the bonds that tattoo our souls
Caged birds fly free
set ablaze the brown grass
where I used to lay

Lover, you lie
and the lie you deny becomes truth
because we are animals inside
and we want to feel loved all the time.
Prophecies fruit on the tree planted by forked tongues,
plucked and tasted
sweet,
yet are they hearty enough to fill you for years?

A fortune is left on the table,
there amongst the shattered pieces
of manilla cookie shell
It reads,
"In this destruction, see the meaning"
WIP
You're right.
I have things.

I need to
rid myself of them
so I can live my life.
If only we knew how tenderly
the Earth met the sky for the first time.
Now all we know of is their
happy marriage.

— The End —