Lying is
an irresponsible state
of comfort
that we hold very dear

I wonder
is your chair still in the corner
do you still sit there every Saturday
with your pepsi and bag of chips

I wonder
is your life still fairly solitary
do you still walk after the sun sets
with your hands in your pockets

I wonder
is your favorite band still Snow Patrol
do you still turn up the bass for Postal Service
with your fingers tapping on the desk

I wonder
is your life still playing out the same
do you still dream of all you used to
with or without me by your side

I sat there vomiting words like it would save me.
Nothing could.
The vultures came in record time, picking away at the cells that
I thought could protect me, turning me into a skeleton.
I would dance for the people, making my bones clink like china.
The shackles jingling around my ankles like Christmas bells.
I would destroy myself to meet their ideals.