Congratulations,

I’m laughing at you!

I know you like to speak in secret,

so I’ll just laugh.

Keep speaking in secret,

like I said,

I’ll be here laughing at you.

I used to laugh at those
that take their own lives
over lost love.
But look at myself,
having only lost
chances at love.

I'm still on the verge of tears.
But only on the verge.
I feel my sockets fill to the brim,
but not one tear spills out.
Can't I feel a rolling tear?
Can't I feel it down my cheek,
and taste it in the corner of my mouth?
I want a stream to run down the bridge of my nose
and watch them dangle at the tip.
Like that time I scraped my knee,
and you gave me hell for it.
I just wonder why I can't cry.

Eric,
Happy Birthday!
I love you very much.
May God bless you
& protect you
always.
I'll be dead in 64 days,
so make sure to wash the dishes
before your Dad gets home.
Let's see,
there are some frozen patties in the freezer.
Once those run out
you can usually get them on sale,
two for ten.
Here's my pin number. I know you always forget it,
5-1-8-8.
Make sure your Dad takes his medication.
I know you'll make the right choices,
even if they aren't the one's that I want.
Love.
Mom.

I used to imagine my mother was dead
whenever I wanted to cry.
It doesn't seem to work anymore.

I just let out a great big sigh.
May have been my biggest sigh yet.
Within reason of course.
I'm all alone tonight.
Again.
You get to do all your fancy things
like church and school,
and when you want me I come.
But how about when I want you?
When I want you,
you just don't answer.
Too busy with fancy things
like church and school.
But still,
when you want me
I will come.

I wish i could let a tear fall from at least one eye.
But when I try,
all I get is a puff of dust,
For I have not cried since yesterday.
Well actually it's been about a month,
but the sensation's been there.
I'm not sure why the tears don't come.
The sensation's been the all the while.
I'm always crying.