I've lost the courage to eat
And all I want is sleep
Where once I'd dream of you
Suddenly there is nothing
For me to do
Trapped in a waking coma
By a shameful persona
Why rise?
If all I will do is fall

I thought I wanted to know
I really thought I wanted to know
I thought you'd prove
My worst fears wrong
Instead you made
My nightmares seem
Like child's play.

Joy to pain
Pain to sorrow
Round and round
Goes the clock
Endlessly ticking
Continuously clicking
Mindless
Heartless
Symphony of tock
Today, tomorrow, yesterday
Time doesn't actually heal
An illusion of progress
As we march towards darkness
Slaves to time
In all, but our minds

I cried today
Not for the first time
Tears for you
Unfeeling man
I begged for a second chance
Why was I begging?
That should have been you!
You're the one who
Can no longer love
The one who built a wall
That I've been desperately
Trying to climb
I woke up today
Feeling foolish
There is so much more
To me than tears and pain
Yet I crave the mental anguish
That you so kindly deliver
For it means
On some level
Maybe
You might care
Eventually

You're not in love,
But I don't have far to go
Chasing a broken dream
Faded memories
I was so convinced
My faith
Unbreakable
Until you forced me
To see
In love you'll never be
So sadly wrapped
In shades of sorrow
To my hollow shell
I retreat
A weary soul
A broken heart
Who still clings
To a sliver of hope

Why do I always put you first
Whether or not you deserve it
It doesn't even matter
Who you are
The yous change with the times
Still I find
That I'm always working
Harder to be loved
Craving it, bleeding for it
But over time
This has made me
Unlovable, a monster
Driven into hiding
Frightened of being open
And yet unable to be alone
I'm going through the motions
Of being alive
But I find myself
Passionless and empty
Where once there was art
All I want is to be loved
And yet I know I don't deserve it
So just walk away
Let's start over
With a new you
The cycle
Forever on repeat

I'll never become
What I want to be
But maybe you'll see me
In the shadow of a doubt
In the corner of your eye
maybe you'll see me