I havent had a minute to myself,
To clear my conscience I meditate with water in wishing well,
Even when my dreams fell , it seemed hell , I just know every sick gets well.
Thats my philosophy,
All gets well, and just now? How I make it so well? a guilty mind travels slow with time, find your innocense and reach a devine, not pork and swine but forks and wine and dine with hearts of mimes that speak existence of peace of mind.
See religion is all trial tribulations and signs, and wisdom? Comes from the leading blind and learning to shine.  Well, so swell is devotion, but this world only teaches neglect and biting the hand with food in it still open.
Still its spoken, but none tends to hear, open mouths shake till the truth appears loose like a mirror.
When perceptions arent clearer.
So where do I  lay or lie , the truth?
Love is gone ******* ! Babys having babbies and droppin outta school,
Life isnt cool but its get well thats my philosphy when **** looks like hell.
Gotta keep going, till Im well.
lord as my cosmic witness, positivy is a magnet if you learn it nature, listen-
The sound of silence is in riches,
Thats why corperate stays in the shadow power soaking all the admissions, but the lesser gains more and looses nothing because of position.
Whats my philoshpy? All gets well, yeah it gets better Love is a real you and me , connection between people felt deeper spiritually.
  
...........................................................­.....................................

Short rap story






Lil loonie was a loser school abuser at home told he's was no more than manure
Always down on frowned on
Hound on!
People he's a supposed love are
Far being bigons
Stuck between two
Mother with issues
Dead brother picture hanngin in the window.
Constant reticule only peace
Was dream of revenue
Own a avenue be a block owner like the corner toker smokers shadows crews
Jammin to the bad words they lingo ,
The way lean tho , havin honnies chasin at they feet too
Seems so blissful
I want it!
Soo lil Lonnie became a grown up,
Started selling grass up in the school bus,
Ayo man. Lonnie gone nuts !
Starting fights skippin class grabbing *** up in the hallway ,
Stealing cash,
And ****** in the hallway,
Jumpin other kids in the stall way
He's gone gray,
He finally dropped out , linked up with the corners, made a connection now he's transporting product ,
Constantly eyes shut , to the fact that he blind but makin quap to support his mom and dads ****,
So they didn't question his surprised bust ,
Did 20 rough , came home to a dead conscious mutt , and******* addicted **** ,
Moms up in hospital, dad has lost his mind , nuts. A remarried krutch Brain is crust , powdered dust loonie.
Lil Lonnie lost a huge portion of life to a past hobby, trying to good now, takin flowers to the lobby. Only to find he's heading to mortuary section , mom didn't make it past the first chemo injection.

Too basic, to hard to face it, looking in these books and all these words have me shooked.
I'm feelin hated, not acknowledged, not appropriated.
God you say gunna help me, but bhudda tellin me I need to help myself.
All these idols, all these faces, all these words, but I remain seeing the same places,
these same places have me torn apart and put back again and again, I need a judge I need a jurry, I really just need a friend.
someone to grab by neck slap me into conscientiousness.
someone who be my shadow but still be real and not pretend
I'm not weak I'm not unworthy!
I'm in a tug but this war is over a pit that I just keep out crawling.
I'm clawing I'm pulling. And being pulled.
I'm pissd off ,  I'm drenched in blood sweat and tears the only gasp of air is of fears and uncertainty.
Am I just lost or put to find a new way,
a way to pave, away from graves and slaves,
all the rules but freedom I seek so I'm breaking bad? Am I now doing what I must, that I feel just.
all these sins, and mines are just as equal??
noo! So why count me for damnation if we all different ******* people,
measure us by our intentions,
measure us by what real.
humanity isn't me. I'm solo.
I choose this unmarked way because there noo tellin me noo.
Soo there's noo mallet to judge.
I'm a distant person in all areas.
religion just happens to be the person who follows me, nerd..

Im know it seems cliche , but i love to be beside her, even in side her, but lately it seems like a cold gravity pulling me into a hopeless struggle to know if im deemed worthy in her eyes.
Can I be? Is this a short time thing?
all I have is time but wasting it is not an option.
I don't wanna be that piece, only needed when in the sheets always hyped in the beginning then lost, empty when leaving.
its like I know what I am, and I keep on being it,
nothing but a piece never to puzzle or be completed.
am I just pathetic? Cause **** i sure regret it. I just can't accept it, I put up, then shut up, and just take bein basic.
I'm pourin my confession, baby I need acceptance, I feel lost in transgressions , over thinkin I need re insurance of my position.
leave back all the negativity, I wanna focus on the humanity.
make me more than just a man to see,
and make me your man.
I wanna understand I wanna feel you.
give you advice help you grow, I want you to want the need too.
you say the spark is gone but it takes two to make a fire.
I wanna burn you up with desire, cause I'm hos down with just tired.
I get it, I'm just your pillow. A thing for head rest.
I confess I enjoyed at first, but its light on, and I'm heading out.
heard you playin the field, thought I would been first pick at least. But fears forget it now.
sheesh, I'm benched, and too see how it plays out with other and not me, is a pain i refuse to audience, .good bye, I'm better off not alone, and see lies rather then sleep on them


by linguist musician
aka Emmanuel hernandez

As nigh falls.
So did she in my arms...
storm is calm so only light rain falls upon the window,
deep breaths , clenchin pillows.
long strokes,
bed rocks,
silk sheets, its warm between her thighs, im in deep.

Sheep sleep but they stay countin my thrusts, never bust,
only creeks from the bed as she sweats ,each drop is another breath that she moans.
Run my hand down her thighs, feel the warmth up inside
lookin deep im in her eyes, the only light is the shadow cast on her smile.
But shes bitting her lips,
shes rubbing her breast, i kiss on her neck, now shes a waterfall ****** ,  saying baby dont quit.
i cover her mouth let her **** on my fingers, squeezin my hamd on her hips, just tp get in deeper,
i tell her...
i wanna be breathless, i want your legs on my neck, wear it like a neckless,
so im reckless, pickin her up surprising her, as she gasps!
i open her legs , give a kiss just to make her laugh, i know it tickless, but i want you to feel an equil sensation for what to come is no pickle.
But toungue sickle,
have you black out  of the intensity, legs quakin,
has the whole room shakin, feel the loss of gravity.
weightless the feeling is paperless on clouds but in reality with me and havin me faced in.
tastin every inch,
outter an inner, say God!
Baby jesus not gunna help us sinners,



EMMANUEL JV HERNANDEZ
AKA LINGUIST MUSICIAN

#MIGHTWRITEMORE
#NEEDS #EDITING

Where was you when I fell , how cliche of a statement to tell,
no! Where was you ? Not here aparently,
seems like yesturday, another cliche,
**** it! I can rhyme all day.
I just need to know whats the point of money?
I GET IT, I loose it, i spend it , I abuse it.
I dont want it but I need it, Is money air?
Cos I dont wanna breathe Im stressed from the atmosphere making  me share.
I rather be ghost watch time fly by , maybe write a book to tell about my times travel,
about love from afar, how its pure but scared,
Have it published  then be awarded rubish, cos there no success or achievement when you see the half cup cruisin the highway and you decide to *** in it.  
LIFE How its concieved , how I precieve it ? IS newspaper Id keep under table to stop wobbling.
Am I rude, yeah, and unconventional so?
Im used to the self sabotage and abuse as a noose to climb up different challenges just to call a truce.



By EMMANUEL jv Hernandez
Aka Linguist musician

A
Rose could cure my posion lips but you already did.
cold fingers to the slightest touch but a single brush and I come to warming grips.
you make me happy your the anchor to my ship.
I set sail to a ocean,  where there's only you to see.
Cos everything else fail to catch my attention except the thought of you and me.
See its truthfully the beauty in your eyes I see.
were I find myself happy in a place where my days are now problem free,
see your my solved for Z.
Life is a math problems  and you went thru an X don't ask Y
I'm just an added equation 4U 2 = less
than 3.
<3

Poetry is words that can't often be spoken but left in a book till one day someone on your page.

Its funny how you landed on mine.
And in time we will see were this goes, all I know is I'm enjoyin the time.


By Linguist Musician

i took your **** and ran with it,
went miles into distance while you constantly clinged to the past
girl I'm tired of it.
How am I suppose to get in if he still has the original and I was givin the spare key,
I'm me and no where near him reason why you always keep runnin back lookin for a safe haven, but in reality sorry that ******* I ain't takin ,
must be mistaken,
I'm havin you second all the time I made you first,
like an unwelcomed tenet,
or low rank  lieutenant,
I'm undermined, while hes underlined,
made into a bold figure,
but I stack real figures,
and don't make you feel bitter like this *****.
Just don't  mention why you quiver , I know the reason why you internally bleedin , stress in ya eyes   swollen from the cries in the night, it ain't right.
but yet you fall back to him , then call me later? I gave you my words, last time was the last. So to bad if it didn't last, and both ends of the ties leave  you to grieve and gravel on the gravel , yeah sit there and babble , yeah I ponder the river creeks for years
now im off the love boat, I skidattled , faught the more fishes in the sea with broken paddle promise not to commit unless it was suicide or a contract with a person I don't trust after marriage and can't truly settle with.
so the others who wanted me are shunned, and you ?  Is of no concern to my conscience , my once brown poccahauntus who haunted
my nights , and Asian moon cake who left with the wrong shake   wen I coulda move mountain cause I was the real earthquake to shake the floor beneath you and let you see the plummit to a deeper meaning. Thank for leavin.
Asmathic or not,
I remain breathing.

by Emmanuel Hernandez
aka
Linguist Musician  aka Deep thought

Its like im sunked,
below with no air I suffocate
I'm worned out.
no will or enthusiasm,
I hate everything that doesn't make sense,
I regret everything, and resent everyone in my dispense.
I pray and read , bleed and sleep,
I'm weak in a state that my body shuts down and my mind plummets at the same speed as my esteem hits the concrete, I don't speak
what can I say? Nothin will change that I have no hone no matter all the support they say, I'm just left to decay.
and by all means let me.
lets me go so I can arise my challenges as a lefty. Right wrongs and leave all behind in the battle front I fire the thing I designed.
ny purpose not givin but made, conjured by thoughts that ran free like slaves.
I'm soo down I can taste the grave dirt, ny ache is pain worth nothing workin towards so no pay is another gained curse.
what can I do ? Any options? Tell me.
I feel lonely. My own doings but ****. It's so confusing being in a selfish tug of war with selfless me.
mirrored the only thing I see is my faults on the concrete because I'm so low I can feel my feet  but can't walk cause I'm stuck beneath.
my will scratching to breathe and take a gasp of life to grasp the night before leaving for afterlife. Am I suicidal? Or is thoughts just summoning a different view than the rearview on the highway to a destination unknown because i don't wanna take an exit i just wanna part ways.
tell me.
help me.

Read my poems follow me,
I just want more to see or feel what I wrote and uf relatable ,comment you are, i enjoy all takers,
questions ,comments and compliments

How I read your words and invision the taste of the lips that spoke them into a page scented with your essence.
I travel on road and gravel,
pavement im enslaved and it hurts,
the distance is far
like life under earth,
reachin for light and air
but cursed and trapped wanderin
and wondering, pondering
while sombering,
alive yets death is the sight far from your touch,
Whom I seek is the love not rushed but hushed soft like plush  that write rights with a right that was never left hangin wen pledging their soul infront of christ, is that too much? Im crushed..
A kiss for an eternity thatll leave the waves crashin the rocks on the spot we saw the sun set, a memory distant like mines from you, i rot.
Darken my thoughts seem but the intent to remain the same as the same I was wen we split, I am.
but change came in the appearance,
because im looking more for you than what I left behind.
Because I want a piece of you for me, and not what used to be mine.
You see im just here waiting the scene to take place,
where the rain will tickle my face,
trickle down in my past tears place and trace,
only to see you look back once and tell me I wasnt your mistake,
I made you better , something! Like sometimes It hard to leave when you still have alot to give , but time wasnt in the place to have those gifts be presented,
Now the presence is a wishlist of things thatll never live up too.
Like finding a love like you...


By Emmanuel  jv Hernandez

Its like I sit and watch the world go by cruisng to oldies,
feeling new inside, but outside is a face of a man who will attack if you dont know me.
gut instinct is below me homie, piece of mind,
dont change your words if you cant cash the truth but besides that...
See im not perfect I lost ties and made knots that made me fall from my own tension with no intentions to stand even if I can, I cant, im grounded by my mistakes that relvolve around me, reminding me what I did made me what I am.
AS I stay subsiding in a position thats clearily hiding,
binding my chest compressed against my last breath , to save what little life I have left in a world where title nor status mean nothing when your an ******* to those you called your best interest I do confess im that lowlife as i cruise still music speak to my esscense releiving me for those seconds im just a person again but after that im back at it again

..I dont write for pitty so let that be known, im just here to vent this steam that once stood ablazed passion for a love that is now a shack of memories in my head of your smile and gestures a feeling I onced called home now ruins from what i ruined, foolish I am.
Clueless more than anything to let many so many slip away im the worst fisherman of love.
because I use my soul as bait, and little by little i let the big ones escape an take chunks of me away to a place I can never retrieve it, so believe it im that space
im that vessle ive became the shell of a hermit , hollow and skirmish.
Tarnished, and used,
debri left as rubble to make roads,
but none to pave my own cause I have no resources
cause im that alone....****,
maybe I can just leave it for those who wish me back if I do something foolish like giveback the life Ive live, for a plaque and a name and a date?
or should I just lookback and keep cruisin passed the bruissin and showin scars of my mistakes as a human,
all I know is....nothing,
and thats why I stay cruissin, freedom of the road and music,
away from the world and my ruins.



-Deep Though aka
Linguist Musician
aka Emmanuel Hernandez

My best friend who I think about constantly.
My best friend who I wished to be apart of me.
My best friend who I wish and pray, To have her one day ,safe so I can see her smiles brighter then they are today.
My best friend whos pain kills me too.
My best friend who is the red to my blue.
My best friend theres no one like you,
Im stuck on you like glue,
part we might at times but Itll never end or be thru.
Cause My best friend, you are true.
My best friend, you are real.
I love my best friend, more of a man I will ever be,
bend as you might you the world will never break a woman of steel
My best friend my fortune and wealth , my queen for you i kneel.
On the foreal
Im happy phareel
My best friend, I only wish the best for you.
My bestfriend I only want you to be comfortable.
My bestfriend when I hear you cry I die inside how could any guy hurt such a free spirited butterfly.
**** got me ****** up in many ways
Wanna **** this ***** up payback is a bill the ***** didnt pay. And im all about gettin paid.
Pssh one way..
Back to a soft spot like your cheeks
My best friend I love you with all my might and will,
Your my everything,
there no other who can take your place,
not now nor ever
will there be anybody better,
never will and still till
this day , as ghost as ive become,
such a son of a gun, I **** back and fired
I dont give a ***** at everyone,
I am sorry to ever fired at you.
My boo My true friend real ***** to the end.
MY BEST FRIEND.
YOU ARE WHAT I LOOK FOR IN EVERYONE.
BUT YOU ARE THE ONLY TO EVER HAVE IT.
The chemistry that cooks and sizzle great friendships, we have it...
GREAT CONVOS AND TRUST?
between us its now a habbit.
Laughter? We made it an addiction, theres no1 like you me without life and time lacks conviction,

Its gunna get better
I will never leave
I will never retreat
When you need me
Im there believe me
Im that shadow that hugs the light to your smile
No1 else can see me.
Im the voice that hugs your opinion,
 Never wanna see you down
Never frown
Just hope in the day ill be blessed to still be around,
Everytime i look at you I thank God and nature
How could there make such a woman
So much love your signatures kisses papers.
Your "laters" are an eternity, but as soon as you show im rollin deep
Like the **** your that good thc
That sticky that breaks
Easily
Your indica sendin me to the sky high
With litterature  of your ways
Your butterfly that never had a beginning stage
You was born that way
Back in the day when your daddy made that right choice,
And your mother wow!  But you amazing.
Never phasin the problems
You always there facin them
Head on, trapt cause your headstrong
My bestfriends theres untold reasons why we get along.
Maybe your kryptonite livin three doors downs,
But i still remain strong whenver  you around,
The world stops
Cause your revolving now,
Center of my attention,
Love to hear you speak,
The way nose jiggle when you mad at me yellin,
Haha i cant be mad, you make me smile , like the sayin you got in the bag.... glad
What else i like? Rememer this a prototype,
Only shedding a glipse thoughts in my afternights.



By Deep Thought
aka Linguist Musician Aka
Emmanuel JV Hernandez

Lonelyness is a rash that itch for affection,
distance is arms greatest foe,
to hug the one you miss is the greatest gift but to get rejected is the scratches and scars that surround that rash that Still itch...and aches...
people move fast, to settle but the ones who are too busy to settle are titled not good enough.
I Tried to be there for anyone but no1 seems to care,
that ill cutt my arms off from time just to be held one lasting enough time.
I'm not the best looking I'm not the best at all close to the image people seek.
But I know I can give more than image can, I can make you feel more than your mirrored man.
I ponder offten while the river Creeks I sleep in a bed that empty so only my head and pillow is the only feelin of caressed,
lookin up I only feel no blessin even if I sneezed.
Why am I cursed to have feeling but none to give then too.
Why is time the only hand that waves by, even when I don't acknowledged it.
slowly but surely I fade into a sleep of weeps to begin another week that makes me more weak into questioning why hold on to the idea of havin one..or her or you...too keep,
if me...
if personally i am not wanted..not for a text or ring..
I'm haunted, behind me, people speak and judge me often taunted..it hurts my self esteem and fill my dreams amd conscience with ideas of doin unspeakable things,
I'm done I hunged the gauntlet, my cape is up
the sword is dull and the shield is rusted.
I'm done, ive lusted and loved it, ive drunk my heart into a bottle empty as the chest it sits in,
Im just alone and waiting for this to pass.

By -Deep Thought
Aka Linguist Musician
AKA Emmanuel Jv Hernandez

I'm in a place when I smell the roses
time stopped, as well as the people that made me victim of them appossin.
My smile frozen, edged curved in time, forever to shine like michael jackson in the lime,
light, and MY smile will thrive forever to survive with positive vibes,
seein the horizon, the seas, feeling the breeze. love in the air I breathe.
Im pleased with myself in every way, happy, no one can down me.
The only way is if they ground me.
But even then my existence in a different plain.
Will still be the same, positivity is a drug I cant explain..
Ill chill Buddha,  Smoke hookah with Ganesh, And  kamsutra with different females dieties maybe Aphrodite. who knows?
arm wrestle with aeries , battle hades, Im feeling larger then life, im enlighten to Die twice and it wouldnt matter, cause positive vibe still writes and fights and chills and works for thrills.
To live it up at night, im happy for once and I thank my saints.
Cause without them, my ship wouldve been sanjked.

society tries to label me
mallet me, with no jurry
peers pressure me, but when face with thier problems , scurry in a hurry, to avoid the face that truly knows them.

People aviod me, yet call me out,
but if they lived in my head they would know whos pain can make a fist clentch with regret and eyes roll in disrespect,
my sanity is runned by the bottle,
i try to stay calm, but i just press forward to later look back and shout
my regards to all that was never part of my scars but should  been because my life lessons are just that hard.

Love is ****, but easily replaced, friends come and go, but what you said to those in the bottom will be remembered, words in the air you cant erase.

I learn to trust myself, love myself, fear myself,
cause only  i can build and destroy.

i am aware, aware if your beauty,
How its devine,
And time  has nothin on your body, forever it curves , your words fall and the one that i pick up, are lines i wanna write, to get your attention, to grasp your mind.
I stare cause i dont wanna miss a moment, your the sun your true blinding beauty, and a morning smile that shines throughout heaven,  im surprised your not in movies.
i wanna know what you think, know who are, tell me who you be, and how can an angel like you cover your black feathers nd scars?
How many battles have you faught? How much heartache?  And how can you still stand strong and not fall?
You dont need to answer, im just truly captivated by you,
Who captures my sight, with eyes that dance with sunlight,
Without a flash of a camera,
Can a man like me handle ya?
I wanna hold you tell you how truelly you are special,
A heart so big all state hands couldnt caress you,
But i can, hands of man, whos blessed too,
You got me goin bananas runnin thru my temple,
I cant touch, so the feelin of wanting you is imensful.
So dear who I can i be near??
A angel like you , flys untouched,
Like 11s with no scuffs,
Its tough ,cause im tempted to touch, but i want your interest,
First, is it jay low? Or enough too much?
I wanna know soo, i dont over doo or rush,  i want you too smile or aleast eyes flutter interest with alil blush...
See ima artist, my loves a paint brush, your an  idea, i wanna brush upon ,
Caress your canvas,  cause theres nothing more defined as beauty as your face, eyes of dawn,  lips of life that can calm storms.
And hair that waves like the sea,
And a personality that glows like the halo you have,  hands soft and free,
More than any thing curves  worth a ride.
Thighs sweet like honey seepin up to a jar of a jewel  inside.
No disrespect, but head to toe you are a fine dime ,  with a mind intelligent aswell as sublime and kind, i wish i knew what its like to be cuff by you, cause im guilty of thoughts as a crime..
Your inviting, delighting, sweet all around.
Ima clown , but i dont joke when i say, when i look up and and down,
.Its hard to believe God made such a beautiful woman,who ls yet to have a crown.
Your strong ,  flawless, defined as one of a kind.
No one can come close to your stature,  and be as radiant as the way you truly shine.


-Deep Thought
Aka Emmanuel Jv Hernandez

its hard to feel your hands, cause i feel the claws you hide ;
like lips with a serpents tongue i taste every lie you hide inside.
you want to be cuff but im already feeling tied,
and im already missing outside cause im locked up by your ways.
knowing that i love you only make my reflection feel betrayed.
every hour you speaking feels like the end of days
cause you filling me up with crack truth its an addictions in your eyes,
you see far to out, you make me wanna scream and shout,
how the **** im supposed to trust when you have commited crimes of the heart.
made many stop, had other lose their tempo,
you claiming that you love,  im thinking your mentle,
and I have no doubt that you even realize, that real lies create real ties  with fake tears, and loud cries, no wonder why im damaged and i cant find a way out.
im stuck in your ***** maze,
you keep luring me in,
i feel like such a fool, I keep caving in.
your thighs are too strong for my arms to pull away, instead the pull closer, but rough and enraged.
You don't know how much you poison lips are such an addiction.
Every kiss is a cut on the wrist, with a tungue that licks each incision.
Every night is just a shadowy vision.
Bites and holds, kissing every curve while i hold your body in submission.  
gripping and thrusting to a point of panting.
pining you down while your legs lock around my waist, we fall together on the bed landing,
mending our spirits even if we far apart, the laws of attractions meets the laws of hearts,
no matter which loves and which hates,
one and both cant escape the need for each other,
differences are just bi polar similarities,
but in the end of the night..
both will want to be pleased.

-deep thought
9-12-14

I loose sight of the rights cause im left in the spotlights.
That burn my skin, im sinful within,
I wanna burn away but im too attached to the cloths im wearin,
My nights are torment by the bottles emptied soulless corpses
death is a ***** mirror, I clean to see what im missing.
Im missing you, the hole in my chest where you used to be-
now you flow free from my ****..
Drunk and high as ****,
cause I wanna see how below you really are-
by far I see nothing..
still lower than my gas and mileage and yet im still running..
cause im hunted...
no im haunted..
no! its something!
just memories of what used to be, like nostalgic feelings..
can make a child ruckus.
But uncle buckus gave me the 40 now im buzzing speaking *******.
Caught in the web,and these are just fly lines..
Soon to be trapped.
Cant escape.
The most ive hate in life is the fact every opportunity ive procrastinate....
And I missed out,
lost many...
forgotten by plenty,
but still my 2 cents are worth more than a proud penny.
Cause I show more guts than surgury...
And my no ***** to give-
drops like my nuts not matter if they blue and hurting ..
im worth something, will i live to see my price?
Maybe..
but i aint givin up even if im strayed up crazy..

Deep Thought
9-7-14

Thought are not suppose to be bottled.So I pour my *** down the sink when I think, it runs down,and I **** away the world afflictions, cause its bigger than my shrink.Hard to blink cause my addiction is I stare into space tryna find my place.To be libra, even with the ying yang cause its constant battle in my cerebral.
Dealin with neglectful people,resultin with me to project hate towards the one I call fam.
****!
I should crucify my hands cause its writtin so much sin from heart.Its truely hard to be positive cause im always dwellin in the dark.
I feel thats what my only option is.
Haunted by the future, dreamin bout the past,tryin to recover, and exhume feelings to rid of that never last.Cause I dont want  stained names writtin on my heart cast growin pains maken me nuts, groin pains.
I want no part of that!
Sometimes I wanna die of a broken heart attack.Beating too seperate pulses on the screen, watch  it get flatlined and silent like my hopes and dreams.
pshhh **** this self esteem!
I been bullied at young,laugh at cause I was fat and dumb,always askin for theyre pizza crust nd crumbs.Always picked last and never won not once.
But I aint done,lost my father, young and I wasnt a good son.Im his off spring that sprung with mean gene son.Him a Drug addict, im the pain addict,I inject the hate habbits an cry in my own attic.
Hopin for a dragon tails, or some
Harry potter magic.
At night I see father & son commercials on the tv screen, I cringe, cause I remember thinking one day thatll be me.To have some  sorta memory of the dAy that we meet.But it never came to pass or be. No sir-ree!  he was notorious, but all he gave me was a  missed calls and birthday wishes never granted, and dead dreams.And a ache, that came with me when I left the nursery the day I was born.
Breathless, a severe asthmatic. Abnia child,who eventually  grew wild,while with no father to tell him to sit down! Im AdHd I cant keep calm! Ima a pessimisst with thoughts in my
Mind that storms from night till dawn.
All about christ,with nails as the  pen in my palms.Reading the psalms,to keep strong but im still weak ,a lefty doin right is wrong.
Still keep my heart on my arm I still flex  nd rep love till packed solid like abs and pecs. But just give a nine or tech, to shoot bullet notes.The ology of knowing me, is a study of a SOB.. Shortness of breath...


Lost in direction I need a pointer,
And eyes cause im walkin wrong,
No seein
Not believing


-Deep Thought

All Ido is contemplate evaporate the hate that shades over my  gloomy mind that rains over and kinda say, Hate to love and love to hate.
Live passed not knowing the future wait, holding breath color changing face, Sick and tired, admire by those who shape me into a different place.
im higher than the heavens gates, still feelin fire that burns in to agrresive state, passive and passin the judgment process into the ballin fist state.
Stop messin and stressin im confessin im not in the bestest shape, dont remind me.

Help me understand what I mean to you...
Help me clarify that I am something, cause im tired too..
Tired of the games and blues, filled with exhaustion from my heart buying in to your lies soo much its costin me,happiness...
I wanna know for sure!'show me an exact image! of reason, why be with him, if I known you longer than you been breathin?
All this teasin is misleading, do you want me? tell me! dont leave me hangin..
Im madden and sadden by the though he has your lips, what happens to me  if it last long, and  I just come around like a bad caugh.
I've lost...
What we had is old news, but i guess time shared holds no meaning in helping you choose.
Don't come to me if your confused, i refuse to help you and your trouble, for now on do you...
Cause i been doin me, never had a problem I couldn't solved em easily with alil alcohol and **** cause you cared less about me and more about him..
I was a friend the best there was, the best there is, the best there ever will be, one you'll probably will not miss.
Or even noticed, if I disappeared, Im just a ghost, a shadowed memory,  still wanna be wanted but its hopeless...truly hopeless, why I wrote this? It won't change a **** thing about her, why Am  I still hopin? Why I care? Why I dare to even mention your name know you wont come to my aid, your never there...
Always with another or him, not knowing who you want, i was wish i was in your option, I can do much more, but never gained a chance to prove, and you wonder why I feel summertime  blues....
Im the best, One you'll never loose..
Ima alot of things but theres a side I never get to show, a side you will love, but you always say no, not givin me a chance as if I was bronze not worth your Gold,
but listen baby im silver, way out there but a good catch, ima outfielder,
something you can be near uhh never shed a tear soo why you always out me?
Always doubt me, never wanna like me, knowing im the right piece,
always misplace me baby, i can clean up mess like a wipee, 
whipe your tears on my white T,
i wanna be your  lycan whose fightin for what he likes see? but I feel there's no time for me...so again  why am I writing????
I am just helpless, a romantic put on the shelf like an old novel,
these say stomach the pain, but I put these dead butterflies in a bottle...
alone in my household, holding close what I call ghost hopes...Dead long ago, now it just cold like the snow, could build a snow man, But I just say no,
Why bother like Stone Sour...it will never happen, I blacken with thoughts, cryin in shower.
Stressin myself because my heart feels like its in a cyclical orbit,
of doubt and hopes, a limbo that continues to lower my esteem
and stings with pain like hornets..

BY: Emmanuel Jv Hernandez
5/23/14
(might add and edit later depending if i doesnt flow the way i want or needs more insight to get across what im feeling)


comment what you think!!!!!

i spur with emotions, drinkin lots potions feeelin nautious yet still hopin,to come out this truth i cant stomach like vommit.
sick with the love bites im  scratchin, feeling whats left of my heart, a  fraction, my souls is cracked in, sea beast that dwells deep like the crackin,
my actions seem to hold no bounds,snortin pounds,
i keep gettin chained up like kratos, getting chased by hell hounds,
go around my mind, youll see a fault, of my own,
cant stand myself **** ***** im all alone
im pintched tight between **** i dont like,
i choose to be!! only me myslef and I be
dealin with drama , thats takin heavy not lightly.
just a thougth i always ponder.. to creek and somber,
into a sleep were river flows deep like my mind,and conscious.
i fight daily, mind body nd soul, im lossin myself im no longer a whole, ima shell of what i used to be, fill me up with slug, thats all i wish well...that you can recite as my eulogy..


BY: Emmanuel Jv Hernandez
5/23/14

I lay awake in bed holding my breath
grippin the sheets feeling close to death
Dreamin a world without you will have me feeling helpless and worthless less of a human being.

You make me better
I wish I known you sooner, I woulda never had let you get hurt,
having ya feelings growin in dirt,
like other losers.
on my knees tellin beggers cant be choosers,
on my knees with a promise ring tellin at least my love wont bruise ya.

Cause people took you for granted,
but no longer will you need a fistt,
all will you need is your lips cause ima have your hand in something to be,
future maybe?? Have another baby?
its crazy but thats life, when you pushin up daisy.

Mamita im lazy,
but my heart is not, it stands on two feet while holding its own just like you baby, it wants you as its crown.
So you can be held on top.
On top of my world and on my mind,
cause thats where you are in reality almost all the time.

Pardon my feelings that grow ahead of time, pass the ceilin thats just life on a heart monitor,
always on a thin line, cause you take  my breath away , barly breathin.

So dont mind my-
my sweet Dear, i only fear for for my heart to be taken or mistaken for something its not so I reveal my soul to you, cause thats all i got,
you on my mind alot and i think?
see I cant stop!
I dont know why? Ima hot head , with you in my mind im hot
in the skys like a star that been shot,
and the heat is commin,the hots for you have me burnin,

and im alil concernin i hope im not being played cause then  from this will, you defeat its purpose, and ima be back at square one again,
feeling worthless,
i open my self ahead of time,
so i pull open the close curtains so,
you can see thru my eyes in time you will know for certain,
that i am the realist! but i am not all perfect,
im just ahead of the curve like script cursive.

By: Emmmanuel jv Hernandez
7/6/13

A Heart that Parts away from the chambers,That pump lies thru the veins with pain.A love that was crucified and died, sacrificed, and does behind a disguise.A mask.
That mask the past scars, the torn skin, truth ripped from the flesh left hollow and echos sorrow,
Faint in the distance, youth in the mirror,
Not in the eyes,tired of lies , eyes cry seeing human bein their nature.
Soo cruel  the pool of liquor im bathin my pours soakin the reality to of depression wastin every ounce of time blazin to relieve the stress of being puzzled in a maze,
Forsaken and disturbed to see the same face awaken shaking like the floor of order.
The door of opportunity leads to another border.
Truth itself holds no water,Takin so much in becoming a mental horder,
nothing new but the struggle, and only lived a quater.
When is there change ? im in need of aspoiler,or vent.
Like im exhaust, im exhausted from many losses, im lost and losed many calls from God.
Stop stallin God hear my repent im callin, so answer.
Thats all im askin ,
im tired of being bent, broke from bein spent,
sick of the cancer, sick of abuse.
I want peace of mind, can hell call a truce? living on the edge, Im hangin, danglin , souless  as a manikin, lost in the sky walkin,
High like aniken.
Im havin epiphanies, deliberately givin up my own liberty,
honestly my  honesty is now nothing no one acknowledge my poverty. My truth was rich, outta this world cosmically possibly the realist to ever grace reason modestly.

BY: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
1/16/14

you left me  like rotten food,
bitter and sour too,
cause you couldn't savor to the flavor of love that I catered you, never betrayed you,
So why? did you leave?
The only peace I have is ******* with these purples trees,
And I smash almost everyday mary jane,
Blazin on these leafs,
and still hurt all the same , I cant rid all this pain..
I thought we would be true with no masks, but your love had different plans boo,
Left me itchen a rash of questions while cutting myself too.
Ignorant to think we would last,
Lost in thoughts starring thru a wine glass.
The gates of life in the past were it haunts me and not you,
Feeling like straight trash , too much to mash and you knew.
All you did was laugh..
use me, abuse me,
Toss and threw me out..
Like im nothing
just cutt me off
am cast me out, and didn't unlock the coffin.
Any ties and every lie you told me, i thought was true, was straight bluffin.
Now its a surprise how i lost you and now im confuse everything that was about you is now more of me too.
Growing in pain, slowin in sanity, Dancin in the rain..
Looking at the sky wishing to die But I wont,
im Stuck up in the earth esteem lower than dirt
all I feel is hurt, how can i make it work?
I don't know where to go,
everywhere is close doors
all I do is feel, and the real just breaths thru my pours feeling so sore,
drinkin and thinkin more and more outta place,
cant find my face, Cant find the line to trace, Cant sea the shore to be sure
that ima just make it..
So ima just fake it, roll it and blaze it,
live thru the phases, work out these mazes,
and escape this fate to print my own destiny on its own pages.

BY: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
7/6/13

Heart is dark apart with marks of stitches from ******* who lies cut sharp.
I listen  and still miss them but time heal and wishes , come true once glue fills in my heart can beat for two.
Im just looking and hittin depression with hooks an waiting contemplatin if times is already wasted or wastin while im pacin drinkin till im feeelin that im lossin control on my actions, facin my booz not havin a boo, talkin  a slur waiting for a hey from her, but theres no her.Just me and this elixer cause I miss her, someone who don't exist but gives me a reason to vent other **** I have like tricks up my sleeve but these vents comin outta my left pit..
its a need to breath..
Vents from my heart and soul. feel im scuffed like soles, i can not center it all
i can not better this cold
I am just sick of it all,
im just bitter with aww, cute with a sensitive mind with an internal brawl.
Between good and demons who crawl thought of suicide in my head.
Puttin pictures of people i love into depictions of dead.
Wish it would go away,cause i dont have any lead,
I am the bullet, hollow in the head empty but only echos of shadow of what I could be.
Drift further and further away into the grey while I lay in bed
lookin at the cielin feelin some sorta way then going back to dreamin where its only an hour a day.
Insomnia strikes with a furry, as if I was the prey,as I pray..
My mind is primordial of a predatory intellectual state of mind,
im the predator  but I have no time to hunt, I rather stray.
Stray away from the status quot  , so i pack a bowl and light the stroll, i lack a home, but i rather to pray hov to keep the demons close cause they keep me on my tippy toes.
Life is a straw you choose to make it short, and abort cause you dont wanna be impregnated by wonder if you see the truths corpses.
Life hard to swallow like your throat was horse.
and stepped on by horses.
and burnt like paul walker porsche.
No remorse.
for the other other side, like split divorces.

By: Emmanuel Jv Hernandez
3/22/14

When im gone, and no longer there to hold you when you crying.Maybe then you'll realize that you was the one lying,  and im done! don't bother even  trying.Rain of pain tears are falling,  and my heart is cold  your love is calling?
so I hang up!
cause your full of it, no more love falling, cause im through with it.

I could've been there as your man, but now thinking of it, I cant stand.
And as for this stranger in this strange land, this strange man, and this real man, will meet who is now a heartless dead man.
Only only one will be on his feet, and its this man.

but in the end!
Back to you, and how you did me wrong,I get it.
You played me the whole time, and in my presence you don't belong.
Now that the hand has turned, and my patience with you has been wasted.
time with you is gone,but theres a closure that I can never face it.

I cant believe it, how nieve I was!
Its the truth, your pathetic its pittyful too
and I regret it, all that i did for you.
Your no longer a memory or a fantasy.
What Ive made you is all deciessed-full,in my heart.
You an art that shouldnt live, be punished for what you did, and let me be once rewarded for all that I've give.

So I leave you this letter, more of a promiss.
That life could take better care of me rather than you, from what you promissed.
So lets be honest, you never had a thing for me, but I did for you.
Quess thats wasnt enough to keep me too.
So "bye bye!", Im tired! Im gone!
When you ask were I went,
just listen to this song.
My pain is written in these lines, now start reading!
If you really did care for me then make wounds in thought of me, and start bleeding.
So I can live off your pain, and laugh myself to sleep.
knowing your stupid, and deceitful actions lead you to lossing me.
You blame everything but yourself as if its not clear to see.
One will not prove there mistakes, but some are open spokenley.
And your not one.

I hope this letter rotts your insides,
make your eyes burn from tears as if it was from rays of the burning sun,
and let your lips dry.
Cause no one will ever kiss you like I will,
not no guy hunn!
The only real thing in your life has just been killed.
I bet your not thrilled, to see me smile, but behind it, its anger filled.
Im strong willed, but at times I cant help but think your heart was born still.
"Us" did happen too fast, now the thoughts of you is just those of my past.
I'll still keep you in my broken heart,suffocating in a caste.
So your love can die,
as I give you a taste of you own trash.
Let it known, my heart beats with no rhythm.
From what you said and what I've known baby your unforgiven. I.I know It wont hurt you as it hurts me, but I rather let you know, that I rather be thirsty than drink your love, why? because your cursed see?
you told me lies to hypnotized me, I saw love but I felt it blindly.
false image of love, is  what you remind me, and im this song, you play this, now rewind me.These lyrics are clear, like my head is now, open mindly.
Able to co-exist with my heart, now before I can love again I wouldn't have to tear it apart.

By:Emmanuel jv Hernandez
Created 12-10-11
pefected 2-22-12

last I wanna see or hear
is you cried.
cause the pain I get from that hurts inside.
I feel your sorrow,I feel how hollow.
But remember,If i'm in your heart then move on to tomorrow.
Cant you see? Baby?
The love I have is truly,  eternally,And specifically yours?
The only women in my life that I adore.
That I respect and cherish each sec,when you take away my breath.
with you I live for.
Do or don't tell me more,
If you wanna keep to yourself I understand,and I respect that.
But baby when you cry,its my job,my priority to prevent that.
Make sure that,each tear is less dense and not emotionally filled.
its not your fault,it never will.
So please don't regret any choice you made babe,cause my love will ill.
I know you cry to get it out and,It will never happen when my heart is in.
Each tear will dissapear,and any fear,we'll overcome.
As long as I can heal it,With God's help Love will always be sung.
With each breath from my lungs,not asthma can prevent me,to stop running with those tears.
I catch each one,kiss each one,and let the pain dissapear...
Not one will slip,from my hand,
As long as your heart has grip on me,
I help you stand.
YOU'LL never need another hand.
Cause my heart,my love,MY trust,I will be the only man.

3-28-12  

Each day,
each week,
each kiss we give,
every time we speak,
I fall hard with love for you so strong it leaves me weak,but I still give.
MY BOO! I mean,your my one,and only!.
DONT ever forget,I'm here,you never are lonely.
BAbe,
My pookie,
My joy.
my sweet cookie,
Lovey dovey chipsahoy.
sweet kissy kiss smoochy smoochy.
EACH moment with you is filled with bliss,
romance,and butterflies make heart and stomach lift.
Tisk-tisk-tisk
Yeah! -.-
→You now you always win.
In any love fight we have,
but I always win if we both end up cuddlin.
And snugglin,with alotta smoochy! smoochy!
Cmon admit it ;)
(its a tie),
Don't cha think mi pookie?
Haha I love everytime we hold hands,and its like there's no limmit to our convos.
No matter where we stand
You light my side up with one smile,a blessing to witness and have,your time and attention,
I can go on for miles.
I CAN say the things that makes your day,And remind you of my support and love for you,Like I did last nite.
Before you went to bed,
You gotta a text from me,and you read,all the sweet comforting.Words that I wrote,
you can almost hear me sing.
Even if my voice is bad,
I'm glad that your nite was made, And I can rest myself.
Knowing our love safe,
And your tears are saved.

BY: Emmanuel JV Hernandez
6/28/12

The shape of her eyes
built with the truth
to keep her love a disquise
dark eye shadow her past as my proof
Ive seen and held her when she cried
I would never tell a lie
I keep my words smooth

mi cara linda

"even when I say bye
i still look into her eyes
just to say I love you"...

Her eyes change color
emotions and stress
built on another
leaving her without rest
The fire that burn inside
spirit wanting to be free
in the deepness of her mind
cant you see? her love is mine!

I see in her eyes
the story deep behind
the very knot & hard ties
twist and many turn arguments that left dry tear trail scars
and fear  burns
.
many had held her down,
even when she was right.
mamacita they block your shine
cause they scared ill make you mine.

BY: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
7/7/12

The one...

the one who will shine  brighter than the sun.

The one I will spend the rest of my life till its done....

The one?

the one and only..

the one and only!

who will be my lover,
will have my heart,
and we will have each others
-backs!
we will never fall apart,we will break down,but we continue to stand.

The one and only...

the one and only will not just be my wife,but also my homie...

a partner,
a friend,together we will fight for each other onto world ends.

we love passionately,and ride the waves,as we do it,romantically.

My one?

my one,her smile shines as if heavens light is bestowed upon it,her lips so tender and sweet,the very taste of it hard to even speak of,cause each kiss im taking is each different but unique in the same love.

my arms are ment for my one,My lips are for my one  and only.And my one? is the one that is distant from me and my touch.
I want to love her,but her lips are far from my touch.
I want her so bad,cause I love her so much.

the one..
the one who Ived been there for,saved her,bathed her,glazed her with my kisses and riches more than any women in my life.

My one and only,I did everything for her,cause she is my wife.

My one and only,
the one,
she is the start of everything good in my life,she came in wen I had nothing.Now she is my strife,She's the one of mines,her beauty is undefined,And each line read,is all for that one.the one and only,my goddess,my sun,my queen,and my everyday desire.

I long for her,so I wait as the fire,but only grow with heated love and passion for my sun,the one,and only,my everlastin love.
That comforts me wenever im lonely.

-By emmanuel jv Hernandez
3-23-11

Im so so sick of the life that I live.

Stuck up in the past,still don't have a **** to give.

Smothered in stress,pain in my chest.

Want to talk up,but where to confess?

Filled by lies that life does best.

Now the only thing left is death.

I expected more,but got more much less.

No joy in my life,just down and depressed.

**** up in the mind,like a man in a dress.

Take these quotas take a good quess.

Life gives you ****,with muchless rest.

And is too dark,I call it shady,but is a mess.

I cry daily,even with love in my chest.

By a unfair lady,who no better than the rest.

so I suppressed..

these deep emotions,
A lil *** and in my drink,I avoid commotion.

a couple shots to be sedated,lost in a dream,of death im faded.

till I snap out,and I awaken.

Rubbing both eyes,pupils not dilated.

looking both sides thanking god I made it..

My soul was departed
but then god saved it.
(thank God I made it)

-By Emmanuel Jv Hernandez
3-21-12

prove to me....

prove it to me!
because..
words are just words, show it to me!
don't let me stay sick,
be the cure!
Be there for me,
stay by my side.
Love could be there,
just don't cover it with lies!
Love me,
don't let this chance slip.
Having me is better than having a wrist slit.
Scared to commit??
Why would you?
You stayed a loyal friend
all these years,
now why wouldnt you?
Step up and  be the person the to shut it down.
Uplift me,
save me me from this deep blues,
and deep scars before I drown.
protect me!
Be the love and armor that's shines beyond distance of sound.
Be the air that I breath,be the path i walk.
Each step with on you can be real and not just talk.
Is what I feel,
put my heart on lock. prove it to me....
times in life are late rough.
Not you,the clock...

tic without the tock,
zip without the lock
hip without hop
click without the clip and gloc..
is you without me,and I know if you need me,its will never stop..
real talk,or walk lies,
step up,is forever hear my misery in the friendzone,not ties.

By: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
7/7/12

Day After Day,
Week After Week,
My Feelings Grow For You.

Deep And Deep

Smile After Smile,
Laugh After Laugh,
You Is My Future.

What Ever Past Is The Past.

Im Always Here,
Wipes away Tears
Just To Show That I Care
That Im There,
By Your Side,
That is, With Me Lifes Fair,
and that My Love Wont Die.

Here To Relieve Your sorrow,
For Today And Future Tomorrows.
And Help You Move On, And Give The Strength To Live Life Each Week.

I Give You A Blessing Each Night,
Before You rest,
A Big Hug So You Can Sleep Tight.

That's A Goodnight,
And Is Built On With A Kiss On Your Head As You Sleep,
And One On Your Lips,
That Our Treat,
From Lip To Another,
Love Is All I Speak.

By: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
3-11-12

A very heated night.Sweat down my chest, my arms tightly caress.Your breast soft and tender, your lips too sweet, I surrender.

A very heated night, one filled with kissing and soft bites.I hold tight, and grip hard, holding on, and loving long.

A very heated night.

Slow dance, romance, I hold you, I hold you, I hold you, I squeeze, I breath, I put on my lap,and continue to please.

A very heated night.

Slow motion, push and pull, slow and fast, ocean motion, sweet devotion.Slow motion temperature rises, climaxin higher, as I hold on, before releasing. You.You moaning, and highly breathing, as if your  crying trying to catch air,  push up on you more harder as you told to keep it there.

A very heated night, my sight on you, your body and going through, your thighs, And putting my love inside a flower, creating new life with a wife on a very heated night.

By: Emmanuel Jv Hernandez
3-1-12

From the heat from my chest to yours, a night fire, heavy breathing, steady motion, a storm, arise.

Fire that's burning inside, passion love that cant be divide.It truly inspires me how your lips caress mines.How the single touch of your hand on my back, gripping,holding, pushing against me, while I push back.

Slow motion of the ocean, forward and back, slipping and sliding, rubbing and grinding,eyes on lock, lips are locked, heated session.Our love making obsession, sensation, goosebumps, caressin your neck, holding your hands, biting your lips, grabbing your thighs, oh my how our bodies lay intertwined.

Right before the night is over, the sun approaches and the *** is sober.I lay upon you, your legs on my shoulder, move them to my waist, in between you, to be closer to your face.To stare into the eyes of grace.Our love making has created a hold in the twilight zone place.Something that can be remembered for all the time, wen watch the sun rise.In bed intertwined, holding you close to my heart, in the lovely is the heated night, we stay passionate and love till the moon and sun rise till fall.

By: Emmanuel Jv Hernandez
3-1-12

Blinded by beauty, how the sun makes your skin glow.How your smile lightens my day, how your eyes, love shows, and mine grows.Makes my day, everyday always, and in everyway.And anything that you do,  just makes me wants to stay.Makes me want to say.But im to scared to even speak or ask.Your amazingly Gorgeous and perfect, im afraid to show my face.I just wanna wear a mask.Your a rose among thorns, a beauty that continues to bloom.Who's smile lightens up the room, Who's laugh I hope to hear soon.Your eyes, is the sight of the promise land.You deserve wings, for the beauty you have is thus of an angel, You ever need support take my hand, you need a shoulder or an arm, Ill hand it to you, no hesitation.I cant deny that your face runs through my mind during contemplation.A beauty like yours give others like me, heart felt sensations, palpitation.If I had the rights, Ill hold you tight.Always from day to night Your pleasure to my sight.

By: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
2-26-12

they come to haunt me and taunt me
making me resent things feeling empty
putting thoughts in mind , so sorry!
i design this rhyme to pass time,
Every time i break down,
i feel no chime, quiet like a mime,
losing whats truelly mine, is my mind, that i can not find,
i feel this pain inside i feel derange and i sometimes, engage  
with what in front of me, this saten, is haten, of me cakin,
holdin the Jesus piece,no time wastin, just waitin for my time,
to exceed the needs of success, im patiently pacin,and pacin
yet racin, im late yet early to punch in, im not goin down without a fight with who who ever is lurkin,
am im certain the curtain is clossin ,
im keep spittin and writting my words fighting even if its hopeless, that i will change
and it will get alil bit better,
with alil bit chedder,
ohh this, this otis, gottsa gottsa to be open, and im open, but the world is sooo close, an closen ,and cold and im doing what i been told, years and years im gettin old, i wanna be immortal, enter a portal , everybody knows
times goes off course soo, i stay i on lane, doin my thang , flippin paper empty the pain with a  pens by the stains.
do you know what its like to be a mystery everybody wanna solve ya, but you wanna a revolva to be history, misery loves company, and im comfort by the honesty, of an oddity, that i wanna be,
and i wanna get even, with a these heathens breathin, forever steamin my self esteem is  depleatin , replenish me please jesus!
i need this , vent, **** everybody who i met, did me wrong the first sec, i regret ,and resent and spent times on something true useless, like the rest...of my heart, torn apart grown to beat and spark, but not ****** in the light so i love to dwellin the dark!!!

How dare you.....ask for so much,
I gave you air, i soothed your lust,
I held your fears away, loved you till you blushed,
How dare you ask for soo much...
I kept you calm,when i held your palms,
when **** got wrong i held you afloat, strengthen you to believe in hope when it was lost, i was your back bone, i made you strong...
how dare you ask for soo much, again i wont,
i would've would stood in the front lines, soo the paycheck could caress any of your desires and interest,
How dare you, leave and come back again,as if nothing never ever had happened..
A conversation?? how dare you ask for soo much...
A picture??? How dare you ask for soo much...
A hug???? How dare you ask for soo much....
you want the stuff?? too bad..How dare you ask for soo much, your actions wont repay anything you done to me,soo much I wont dare to tend too your need and wants...
So Dare ask for more, Cause ive given enough and i wont ever take it back,
time has it now, your left with an empty housed and heart, now you know what a man like me is about...
How dare you.....


BY: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
5/7/14

Nothing was the same...
nothing was the same when you left my side,
I was cold and deprived of the eyes that i loved and the waist that i hugged.
Nothing was the same....and I...cant..
Nothing was the same when I saw you again, with another,
my souls mirror cracked, and flooded my heart with shards that stopped my heart the moment our eyes locked.
i wanted to be under the covers!and I cant..get away from it all, I wanted it all back but at the time I don't want a inch,or a fraction...
none of which would replenish the satisfaction, we once had...
Nothing was the same, i drink my thoughts watching the rain.
ponderin and ponderin wonderin,and wanderin where would I be if you followed back to the place were we once laid not so long ago,
i heard the bell toll,and we kiss soo , much passion filled the air, now its nothing more than fumes of my lungs blackening, whats happening??
I know....
Nothing was the same, and living I cant, but surviving I am..

BY: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
5/7/14

A beauty so great, was it destiny or fate?
How the sun lays upon thou bossom of thy face, that glows glorious like the kingdom behind Heavens gate.

Your smile that run for miles in my mind during contemplation, your voice so soft, when spoken give my heart palpitation. So nervous when I get near, cant help but smile, like a soldier in the face of fear, I happily welcome these feelings, without a tear.

Roses that very from color, but your a rose beyond colors, the luminescence of your eyes and smile, glow,because of your untouched beauty has progressed beyond others.Your a simple women, smart, intelligent, intellectual beauty inner and outer, like Iv'e said before your a rose, but who's love peddles and leafs has grown strong and shown, blossomed to be prone, by love that you own.

My eyes lay upon the sight of perfection, my eyes upon you, is the sight beyond ascension.Above beyond and infinity, let me caress your neck, and taste the lips of serenity and longevity.

By: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
2-27-12

From the sweet smell of her hair, to the sound of her breathing.Her perfume scented the air.The curves of her closed eyes, its unbelieving.

Lips are licked, moist,what is she dreaming? I cant help but ponder, and wonder, surely no thoughts of leaving.

I stay to watch, and  
admire her beauty.Her skin as of silk, warmth of her body against me.She's all I think, when we lay our heartbeats in sync.

Her legs are strong, as well as her personality and grip.As she holds on to me, I whisper "you belong to me", she smiles,I give her head a kiss."sweet dreams, My beauty that sleeps" I see you wen you wake, till then you will be missed.it is love it is fate.My love for her has grown strong, that I would go to hell and save her from any nightmare, and ascend to heavens gate.

By: Emmamuel jv Hernandez
1-4-12

Life is different from the visions of stories.
Built on over coming obstacles, finding love, and glory.
There is a difference between life and death, one you sleep, one you wake, and most take for granted each breath.
Pure evil lives among us, ****** women, selling drugs to our children.
Sending them to school within that community occupied by villains.

There are among them, pressuring them, and they will break, with no back bone these days, soon the youth will be fake.
What is the point? God  whom built this place flourished with beauty and green, and we slowly yet rapidly with a pace ruining it with cement, bricks, and machines.
Why does one man takes a stand?  There is one man, and he is kind, but he has no support.No one in behind.Can you hear the cries?? War rages on in a world who claims to be civilized.

War is primitive, so we have no need to bring bloodshed.Tell me another lie, as I rest in my bed, looking in sky, counting stars with one eye, is the only joy I can get, when all around me, those I've known too the ones I have gotten know continue to die. Truly a world with great potential, but those masked faces, killin the idea of the though of life, isn't coincidental.With words corrupted to project the opposite, The ungrateful, the not nice.

The soon to be forgotten.
we looking at the beginning of a fallen to be torn apart by greed, selfishness, planting an abundance, unfruitfully amount of seeds.Harmful deeds, and decision made for those who have no voice, what choice do we have, if our right was never made, and we fight for freedom in which we never had, in the times of dark or light.

By: Emmanuel jv Hernamdez
1-2-12

She said...
Kiss me,like you want me,
Grab me like you need me.
Pin me to the wall real rough,baby feed me.

I got you baby, I got you baby, let get it on.
you want it rough, i'll do it long.

She Lick her lips, baby you my candy gram, I grabbed her close, I just hope you don't got a man.

We get the touching, we get our drinks on, its all a blur, but **** it,yeah baby dream on.

She dancin slow, spinning round and round she
Go, she kiss me slow, she bite my ear, and told me so
"Ima do you,but wen we done, you gotta go"

Those words hurt, those words hurt, but she feels good, she grinding on my lap, she pull on that thong, and let it slapped. she take my gun,start cocking it, cause I'm hard and strapped. she throws my hat,and jumps on that.
baby relax, ima work you till you dry outta that white wax.

So I Tap it likes it not mines
Hit it hard to own it.
**** fight night,baby gurl is my opponent.
I ate it till its dry,licked it wet again, beat it till she cries, even when swore she's just a friend but you know how women lie,
Let me slip it in, put in slide, hit it rough, give it long, ****** it hard, push it heavy, and leave it scars.
Let it clap, squeeze and slap, bite her hard, leave my mark, force it in between them thighs i tear it apart.

By: Emmanuel Jv Hernandez
??/??/??

I fell for a love, named Emilee.I fight the love, but thoughts of her
reoccurring strong
like remedy's. Looking at the mirror, imaging her right beside me, lips so sweet the taste is delighting.Wanting to feel the warmth of her hug, day dreaming of holding on to her and falling in love.Wanting to love her, I do secretly and discreetly, in her eyes I see heaven, made my life completely.
She's red rose loved perfect, lies untold to me because I see only truth through her beautiful surface.She's worth it,
what would I do just to hold her, they say
"beauty lies in the eye of the beholder",
thats why you belong in my arms, because I cannot let this world
continue makin you colder.

By: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
12-16-11

One kiss it took, one look,and I fell.
For your eyes and your face, a million words to describe your beauty, its a story I could tell.
No one can understand my love, my heart.
But you know, and you glued the pieces that were left apart.
You brought back the love that I lost, you gave me new love to own.
With you in my heart, theres no way I'll be alone.
I kiss you today, and love you for future tomorrows.
I will not have pain or sorrow, I will not follow.
I will lead,because you give me the strength and what I need.
My heart is complete, with no one I will share this, your love is so special I have greed.
I have a motive, I have a reason to live, and fly,
above the haters and fakes that caused me treason.I have peace.
with you and within myself.
I thank you baby for this love that is my wealth.

By: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
12-13-11

I am who I am, a misunderstood individual.Soo dark in mind, so say criminal.
I am who I be.The son of my father, some mistaken by the bad image he left behind.Those that tends to bother.The long road of redemption to redeem my soul.Knowing its corrupted and slowly decaying.My hands oh so cold, even when praying.Hands frozen  by the heat, I pointed at my thoughts, and spine tingles from the cold feeling it gave off.Made my hand sweat.
Then a image came in,and all were regrets, that surfaced.
Now the room spinning, with only the sound of my heart.
"thump" "thump"
....pow!

By: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
12-8-11

My breath fogs the window, I draw a heart, and I write your name.
I put cutts on it, to symbolize the pain.
I try to move on, but I cant help but ponder, of the times we had, I held dear, but can't any longer.
You told me you loved me.
You could never lie to my face, then why look away when those words were placed?
A lie is a lie, still hurts tho..
Still feel the bruises you left on my heart.
feeling used, try to live life but don't know where to start.
You left a mark, I'm torn apart, in the shadows, I wait in the dark.
Sleep like a beauty, waiting for one, who can light a love spark.
With a kiss, someone I can love to miss
Keep love going with intense passion, someone to hold not just for now,but everlastin.
I may be the one mostly hurt-ed, but respect me and my rose, be what helps me live, make it worth it.My dream love will come, sooner or later, hope its sooner,
because later in done.
you only live once to live again, to be on one and done.

By: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
12-5-11

Feeling sad
memories haunt me
like shadows of the past.

Deep inside i'm torn apart
thinking back I wish
it did really last.

Unfortunately efforts
didn't work to keep
that person glad.

Heartbreak go home,
take away my pain.

End my suffering clear
my thoughts and take
away the rain.

These dark clouds that
hover over me
reminding what I lost.

Then again all my pain was spent on you, but truely at what cost?

Heat break go home again leave, so I rest
let me love again and
give another my best.

I am a rose among hate,
I need a thorn to
protect from the worse.

I need spell that love can
cast that take away this
curse.

Enchant it with the love
from another who gives
me hope, and to smile
again.

All I needed was you, my
love and dearing friend.


By: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
11-24-11

I have one heart, One different from the world.
Set it aside, put on hold
for the right girl.

My heart isn't pure Its broken, and covered with black spots.Those of lies I was told
"who would've thought".

It beats silently through the night.
Herd by me, forgotten by those who blew out my light.

Blood tears in my eye,
drippin on to the ground.
My heart was once a king, before the queen took its crown.

Beating hopelessly irregular rhythm
Like a broken clock
ticking the wrong time givin.

Still sticking around
No time to fade, My heart is a diamond never made.

My heart is everything to me, but people used my love, like im a ***** getting paid.

By: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
11-10-11