I am terrified of being

cut loose

I long to rip open the seams of my wound

and bleed, bitterly

***** stained breath
and the ruin of my family’s name

in the gaps of my bared

teeth

It was a lie when they said
that the power to change the world
lied within you

but the ability to transform
the small square of Earth
on which I stand

with a smile

lies within your heart and hands

Standing on the river bank,
looking down into the murky ripples of time,
ebbing away from me as I stare deeper,
I crunch leaves beneath my feet,
their brown and orange skin separates and sticks to the soles of my shoes,
a surprisingly strong autumn sun warms my face
and my heart,
a rare scene of peace and tranquillity
that soothes my soul
a moment of calm to contrast the
chaos in my mind,
and my spirit lifts into the sky,
at one with the unseen stars

forever, they say

you will not feel this way, forever

and I try, with every breath in my lungs,
to believe them

with every fibre of skin
on my bruised and beaten body

but I realise that I have already had
my chance at breaking free from
the shackles of sadness

this is it, I think

that ship sailed before
I even knew it was possible
for me to board it

and now, there is not even
the flicker of a candle light
at the end of the tunnel

hope has been squeezed from me
like the juice from a lemon
leaving only the bitter pips
for me to spit out

I realise, too late that
I am forever

forever lives through me

I follow the arteries from your wrist

to the centre of your heart

and nestle my head into your neck

following the breadcrumbs of memories

and stolen minutes of bliss

I have found my way home

“Do all poets wear masks?”

a stranger, unwittingly flung
into the path of the flurry
of my pen, asked me

No, I said. Only the sad ones...

“Aren’t they all sad?”

he said

(Check mate)

cracks appear

when I look in the mirror

and see your face

reflected back at me

those ocean blue eyes

and whisper thin smile

it’s as if you’re mocking me

with your beauty

the beauty that left

my heart in

cracks