my skin singes
with the love you
left

a bitter burning
that will leave me
forever branded

when I was eight,
I would pick blackberries
and eat them straight from the bush,

their purple juice would
stained my lips with
childhood joy and
wonder,

now I'm the wrong side
of thirty, and melt those
blackberries into
jam,

as if I am seventy

there is no joy left
in me, these days

only a weary
tiredness that aches
with longing for

what was,

those blackberry bushes
and purple fingers,

now fraught with
frailty

as I boil jam,
playing it like
a snake charmer

so as not to
spoil my mixture

(as I have spoilt
my life)

of blackberries
and regret

Autumn
falls back through my memories,
ripples of remembrance that ache
in agonising sweetness,
an echo of a time when sunbeams
danced off your face,
in twilight dreams, I walk these streets
of past joys and past pains,
tasting the black cherries from your Cupid
fingers
that stained my lips red, a template for your kiss,
the day I dropped anchor in
your heart

my fingerprints unlock a world

of magic and mystery

when they brush lightly against your spine,

the curve is stunning, ancient architecture

that could take away my breath,

a sacred temple of wisdom lives at its base,

each vertebrae aches with longing

and lust,

but I only feel these things with my fingers,

my heart isn’t in it

I have been

lynched

by love

and sadness

sometimes not knowing the difference

if the difference even matters

I am hanging

by a thread

that is too weak to **** me

but not strong enough to sustain my life

I have eaten rotten fruit

gladly

given into temptation

and now I shall neither die nor life for it

but the thing is

I have never been truly

alive

Do not tempt me

with your red wine lips
and ink black hair,

eyes as dark and mysterious as an ocean
with waves that lap and engulf the shore,

well, I am the shore,
consumed by the sea of your heart,

I beg you not to take me in your arms,
for I could plant my roots in the crook
of your neck,

do not speak to me of love,
for I dare not dream, imagine, feel,

with every fibre of hair on my skin,
that you have shamelessly got under,

do not tempt me with promises,
doused in holy water as they may be,

I can not believe them,
I have been betrayed by forevers before

and I will not let a crack appear
in the lens through which I view you,

so just let me take you into
the ripples of my mind,
the circles of my eyes,

every inch of your flesh and hair,

every smell,
every touch,
every note of your voice,

each cigarette you smoked
over morning coffee,

each whiskey you drank
over midnight musings,

let me see you always,
as I see you now

I have never felt quite as alive

as I do when your handprint covers my heart

containing and calming
its frightened bird beating

to a gentle rhythm of

safe, now

safe