I have plucked the ***** roots
of my past, covered in black earth
and dead leaves

and replanted them somewhere
plentiful and green, where gentle
flowers may tentatively start
to bloom

I’m old enough to understand
why the seasons of my life must pass
the way they do,

Spring came bursting
with daffodil promise,
and the cries of lambs
signifying rebirth,

Summer was messy;
mistakes were made in love,
men that didn’t deserve
to call themselves men,
scorching black rings
around my heart,

Autumn was best;
as I shed the burnt orange leaves
of pain and left myself bare
to the elements, standing strong
and proud. Unshakable.

I approach the winter of my life
with apprehension; though I am not
afraid to die. I will enjoy the snow,
the sound as it is crushed underfoot.
I will reflect on my loves and losses,
for I have had my share of both,
and enter the last breath of my life
with no regrets

The inside of my mind
is like nails on a chalkboard

a hideous screeching sound
that I try to drown out
with whatever I can touch

my heart skips beats so frantically
it amazes me that it does not stop completely

the razor, the liquor, the pill
sing to me seductively in my sleep

there is an echo of a memory stirring
about it being time to make a choice

and this is the choice I must makelive in Hell or die in Heaven

it’s not much of a choice,
until another memory stirs

telling me I am worthy of being
on this Earth, and it is more beautiful because of my tenacity

to endure
to overcome
to survive

and that to live, is the bravest choice of all

It's that time of year again,

The air is warm,
breathing delicate
wisps of breeze
across my skin

I was cold
inside my heart,
shrank and barely
beating

My head is my own
theatre, frames flashed
and frozen, projecting
every still

I try to put the ghosts
to rest, bury them like
bones in a garden

But they wake up,
like vampires,
when the sun sets

Words catch in
my throat, lungs
take in their fill
of air, but there's
not enough oxygen

To feed my brain.

The moonlight pours down on us
like silver nectar

encasing us in a glowing
white hum of magic and mystery

the stars shine like precious gems
each one worth more
than their Earthly wealth

we are the silent lovers,
the keepers of night

and all its secrets buried
in our lips

shared only between ourselves
in a midnight kiss

I am counting down the days
until I can see you again

each square on the calendar
a gift to open, springing
longing from the present
into the future  

as we draw nearer to a time
where we can hold hands
and gaze out across the river

its shimmering blue surface
as perfect as if it were painted
and us, painted too

lovers entwined
in a sweet embrace
hands and lips
and eyes locking
tight

a blissful reunion
of the heart

If I could reach into your chest
and pull out your heart

twist blue veins around my fingers
and taste red arteries between my lips

If I could caress it gently
and coax out the words you never said

would that be love?

when your blood pours from you
and gradually makes its way
to where I stand

and I still stand, unflinching
in the crimson pool about my feet

would that be love?