With her beautiful light brown hair
Stunning face
Ice blue eyes
Amazing body

The girl everyone wants to be
She who still doesn't believe in herself
Even though she is

Amazing
Creative
Smart
Funny
Positive
Weird
Sweet
Gorgeous

She still doubts herself
Isn't that weird?
The most beautiful ******* earth
Doesn't understand that she makes angels jealous
Isn't that sad?

Is it really that bad to feel happy?
To feel like someone cares?
What's so bad with pretending for a minute?

Sure I wont see you again
Or maybe I will
But it doesn't matter if I do or don't

Is it really that bad tasting someone elses lips?
To feel like someone wants you?
What's so bad with being happy?

Sure it didn't mean anything
Or maybe it did
But it doesn't matter if it did or didn't

You made me happy that's what matters right now
I don't have enought time to care about what other people thinks
I live my life the way I want to not how others want me to live

What bothers me isn't that you left
It's that you lied and said that you would never leave
All those times you told me ''I love you''
Were those just lies?

What bothers me isn't that I can't hug you
It's that you're probably already kissing someone else
All those times you held me tight while listening to Bon Iver
Were you just trying to make me feel safe?

I miss you
I miss us
I'm sorry
I...

I want someone to find me
Someone who'll look at me
And just know

Without any questions that need answers
And without knowing anything
Still embrace everything

I want someone to find me
Someone who will make me feel less lost
Just take my hand

Show me the world
And I will be yours
Until you don't want me

When that day comes
I promise you that I will be gone
So don't worry

You keep me up at night
I don't mind waiting
And watch the sun as it fills the world with light

You keep me up at night
I don't mind waiting
I just want us to end this fight

You keep me up at night
I don't mind waiting
When you are here everything shines so bright

You keep me up 'til 3 in the morning
I don't mind waiting
Because my life without you is so boring

You keep me up 'til 3 in the morning
I don't mind waiting
Please don't just leave me without a warning

I...



It doesn't matter.

I saw this girl today
With the prettiest smile
And the darkest eyes

She had long black hair
And bronze skin
Her smile was perfect

She had a glow around her
And with a voice so calm
Her lips was slightly pink

This is when I started to think
Maybe angels exist?

Only four more days until it starts again
A new hell
Filled with new people

I can't wait to see all the eyes
Judge me from head to toe
I hate new people

They give you one look
And think they know
Everything

But in reality
They don't know
Anything

One minute it rains
Next minute the sky is blue and there is sunshine
An hour later there is a thunderstorm

The weather has been crazy today
I'm starting to think that maybe it tries to be like my
Feelings

The weather Gods tries to show me what my head
Would look like if someone opened it
There would be

Rain
Lightning
Thunder

When all that is over
They would also show me
The most beautiful thing I have ever seen

A big
Bright colorful rainbow
And a perfectly cloud-free sky

What do you want me to do?
I can't just give all of me to you

What do you want me to feel?
I don't know if any of this is  real

What do you want me to see?
I don't know where we are supposed to be

What do you want me to say?
I don't think it matters anyway

What do you want me to hear?
I don't trust you please don't come near

It's getting
Colder
Darker

I will miss it
Just like always
I will miss you

No more
Party
Sun

There wont be
Drunk kisses with you by the sea
No more days that never turns to nights

That is what I will miss most
Days
That never ends

I wish I had wings
Beautiful like the songs angels sings
White like the snow winter brings

They would make me fly
My wings would take me so high
I would become one with the sky

I would see the word
It would be just as beautiful as I had heard
On the trees there would be birds

My angel wings would make me smile
Even if just for a while
All my feelings would be put to the side

I would no longer have to hide

Sometimes I just wonder how my death will be
I have been understanding that the person responsible
For it is probably me

I don't thing I will live long enough to get
Terrible cancer
Or a stroke

I think when I die people will find me on the floor
With a million sleepingpills in my body
A note in one hand that says

I'm sorry, I know I'm weak
And then a poem called
Don't stand on my grave and weep

I think that is how my life will end
But not quite yet
I need to see if I'm strong enough to get through this

And I will try
I will try so hard
But if I fail this

You'll know where to find me

Maybe if I lose some weight
Maybe if I put on more make up
Maybe if I buy nicer clothes
Maybe if I get another hair color
Maybe if I do something about my face
Maybe if I just try a little bit harder

I wouldn't be so ugly
I wouldn't disgust you

And maybe just maybe I could be the girl someone
Would look at and think
I wish my girl looked like that

And maybe you would fall for me
Just as hard as I fell for you
Maybe just maybe
I would get my brown eyed Prince Charming

But to be honest
I don't think there is anything I could do
To make you want me the way I want you

I'm hopeless

I'm lost
They say  
Home is where your heart is

I can feel my heart beating
Boom boom boom
But does it really exist

If I have a heart
Why don't I have a home
Why don't I ever feel like this is where I want to stay

I have a place to live
But since my heart isn't here
Then it isn't my home

Right?
I'm lost
I'll be back

I just need to find my heart first

Your eyes are blank
Your voice screams desperation even though you think
You're acting calm

Your whole life is falling apart
You have no home
No money

All that is left is your own ****** up brain
Your friends that are just as lost as you
If you don't run now it will be too late

As I try to look into your brown eyes
Filled with pain
You do everything to not look at me

I want to help you
You are a good guy and you deserve so much more than this
Please promise me that you will try

Make your eyes look full of hope
Your voice sweet with love
Make your heart calm

Don't waste your life
It is too precious

So cold and hard
Gives the deepest and darkest thoughts
The right directions to your heart
Your mind
And your soul

So wild and unwanted
Gives your nightmare space
In reality
It makes everything real
It makes everything come to life

So loud and sad
Gives the word pain a new meaning
Let you remember why
It makes you never forget
It forces you to always remember

So dark and painful
It keeps you up
It's knocking on your door
Invites itself in
And there it stays
Making your life
A living hell

So run
Run
Run
Run
Before it is too late
Before the rain has soaked you
Run
Before it drowns you
In your own mind

Red lips
High heels
Nice dress
Painted nails
Curly hair
Make up

Every inch of her was made to impress
Every step she took was made to make him lose his breath

All she ever wanted was for him
To walk past her
Stop
And
Turn
Around

She looked for him in every street corner
She looked for him in every store
She looked for him in every train station
She looked for him in every dream she ever had

But he just wasn't made for her

It's 4:26 am
I still haven't got any sleep
I don't want to go to bed without you
I don't want to live without you
I don't want to be without you

It's 4:27 am
I still haven't got any sleep
Without you sleep feels pointless
To be honest
Without you life feels pointless

It's 4:29
I still haven't got any sleep
But it doesn't matter
I wont see you just because I go to sleep
So why not just stay up and watch the sunrise

If I can't see you
That will at least give me something else thats
Beautiful
Just like you

It's 4:31
I still haven't got any sleep
I'm fine with that
I have the rest of my life to sleep if I want to

Another night without stars
I can't stop wondering where they are

I feel empty tonight

Maybe my soul is lost
Maybe my heart is surrounded by frost

I feel empty tonight

I haven't seen you
I haven't talked to you
In what feels like forever

I have missed your smile
I have missed the way you talk
I love to see the funny way you walk
I have missed someone who understands everything
Without having to know anything

It feels like forever
And now you're sleeping in my new bed
I don't sleep next to you of course
Because you know I hate sharing bed

I probably will sound like a creep
But you look so pretty when you sleep
My dear friend I have missed you so
And it's only been a week

I don't like to be close to people
I can't handle the feeling of people touching me
I don't want people to touch any part of skin
That belongs to me

Still I would do almost anything to sleep next to you
Just one night
Nothing more than sleep together
I would give so much to fall asleep holding your hand

Sleeping next to someone is something I hate
I hate the feeling of having someones warm body
So close to my own
But that is all I wish to do with you

This is all new to me
I don't want to sleep alone
I don't want someone to hold me
I just want you there with me holding my hand

Please don't make me sleep alone
I'm scared

The sky is empty
Just like my soul

The moon is half
Just like my heart

The stars are gone
Just like my mind

The night is cold
Just like my eyes

Tonight I want to follow Peter Pan
Second star to the right, straight on 'till morning

She tried so hard to help
She knew that Death was something
Only Life could bring

She knew she probably did not
Change anything
She new that maybe she just made it worse

She tried really hard to believe that this
Was her purpos in life
She wanted to keep people away from Death

She wanted to bring people to life
Maybe because she was hollow
She was already dead inside

She did not want to see other people like that
What if she wasn't good enough to help
She wanted to keep people alive but maybe

She just made them more hollow
She might have given them strenght
Not the way she wished to

She might have made them strong
Not in the way that would make their word colorful
But strong enough to disappear

She would always be an empty shell
She would always be a Heartless soul
She would always be a Colorblind ghost

Goodnight world
Maybe I will wake up
To the sound of the same music as I will fall asleep to
Maybe I wont wake up at all
What if I am right
Maybe that really was weird
What if you are waiting for me
Maybe the scary sounds are made by you
What if you are out there trying to get in
Maybe you know that I am alone
What if I do not wake up tomorrow
Maybe I will be gone
What if this is the last time I will hear this beautiful song
Maybe it is
What if this is just all in my head
Maybe it is

Scared
So scared that I do not know if I should run
Or if I should be still

Will my body even listed if I try to move
Will my pounding heart pump enough blood
For me to be able to escape


Scared
So scared that I feel like this is the night
I will be dying

Will my body take me through this fear
Will it listen and hear what I hear
Is this what will **** me

Scared
So scared that the only thing I wanna do
Is to find you
Be with you
See you
Feel you
Have your arms around me

But tonight I dont have you
Tonight I am alone
Tonight I am scared

Born to live
Born to die
Born to be high
Born to fly
Born to drown
Born to be let down
Born to fight
Born to be the light
Born to find
Born to be kind

Born to be me
Born to be free

I'm drunk
You are drunk too
All I wanna do
Is get lost in the eyes that belongs
To you
But you don't look at me
You don't care
So this is why I'm gonna share
I'm sharing this because I don't
Want another person to fall in love
With someones
Eyes
Without knowing their heart
Or their mind
Please don"t fall in love
I'm drunk

It seems to be so peaceful
So quiet
But still so full of Life

The ocean amaze me
The blue water hypnotize me
Just like the creatures in it

So full of color
So full of Life
Makes me wanna be a part of it

I want to just lay in the middle of the ocean
Feel my body sink
Deeper and deeper

Never stop falling
Falling falling falling
Deeper into the big blue

Cold and unknow
Yet so Beautiful and calming
Let me be a part of it

You're not mine
I'm not yours
Still jealousy is here

It doesn't hide in the dark shadows
But stands right next to me
Holding my hand
Leans in and whispers slowly

How could you ever be so stupid?

Your lips on my lips
Your arms around me
My hand on your back

I told you it was a bad idea
Us two laying there at the sea
With the sound of waves
In the back of my mind
All I wanted was to find
Someone who wouldn't wanna make me hide

I'm blinded

Happiness
Sunshine
Waves
*****
Cider
Words
Smiles
Me
You
''Love''

It all blinds me
I told you it was a bad idea
But you were to drunk to see
I told you
You wont remember any of this
You responde with a kiss

Summer is something I will miss

I lost myself when you found her
I was living on a hope
I was hoping you wouldn't realize who I was
I was hoping you wouldn't see me
Not the way I truly am

Ugly
Disgusting
Scared

When you finally saw me
The real me you did what everybody was waiting for
You ran away and never looked back

You didn't look back at the heart
Broken shattered in a million pieces
You didn't look back at the tears
You didn't look back to see the scars you created
You didn't look back to see me

I know I will see you tonight
That's why it's no point im starting a fight
Between my heart and my brain

When I see you my heart is the winner
My heart surrounds you with a shimmer
That only my brain can take away
To take it away I have to stay

Stay and see you with her
She the most beautiful person on earth
This will end with me getting hurt
Like it always do
It's all because of you

You defeat both my brain amd heart
Just ny showing up at the start

Even though it's summer
It will always be cold as the winter
As long as I'm not with you

I don't have you anymore
It's been over a year
it brings me to tears
I know you don't want me to be sad
When I think about you
You want me to smile

But I have done that for a while
I just want to hear your voice
Just one more time
I want to hear you say hello
I want to hear you say goodbye

I want to give you a hug
A light hug
It will be light because you are
Fragile
I want to tell you
I love you
And I want to tell you to be
Happy
Strong
Beautiful

Just like you always have been
I know you became an angel
The most wonderful of all angels
My angel
My beautiful angel I just want to say
Goodbye

Goodbye my angel
Sleep tight and I will always fight
Make you proud
One day I will hear you say
Hello again
It will just take some time

On the starry night
Is when they all crawl out
I thought I could do this

I have to confess it to you
I am weak
I thought I would be stronger
But I can't hold it in any longer

I want to keeo it in
If i do it will be I who win
But I feel how they start to crawl out
Trying to shout
And then there it is
The one feeling I don't miss

I turn blind
My eyes fill up
And there goes the first one
I thought I would be stronger
But I can't hold it in any longer

I'm sorry
I whisper to myself
While they crawl out
And I don't even try to fight

Your beautiful dark eyes
Makes me smile

Your beautiful lips
Makes me wanna kiss you

Your beautiful voice
Makes me wanna listen to you all day

Your beautiful strong arms
Makes me feel safe

You are beautiful
And that is why it never will be

You and I

It's your favorite flower
But still it doesn't have the power
To compare to your beauty

It has beautiful colors
But it doesn't show all your sorrows
It's isn't as multi colored as you are

You are my favourite star
But the dalia doesn't show what a lovely person you are
Even though you have got this far
There is a lot of things you have left to become a true silver star

You are my inspiration
You are my fascination

But most of all you are the one who made me who I am
My dalia loving Mother
Thank you

The truth is
There is no such thing as shortcuts
When it comes to beauty

The secret is in the word itself
Be You
That the only way to find beauty

It doesn't matter how much makeup
You put on your face
It doesn't matter how good you are at
Faking smiles
It doesn't matter how you dress
It doesn't matter how you laugh
It doesn't matter how you talk

None of this matters if you aren't
You
The true beauty shows when you
Stop caring
When you stop caring about what other
Poeple thinks about
You
And you start to care about what
You
Feel about yourself
When you feel good about yourself
You
Will be the most beautiful person
Alive

Fat
Ugly
Weak

Those are the things
I don't want to be

Beautiful
Fit
Strong

Those are all the things
Girls are in the songs

Worthless
Insecure

I can't figure out
What for
I don't know how much more
Of this I can take

I want to be
Beautiful
Like the girls in magazines
But how much is it worth
If they only get hurt

I start to slowly float away
I don't know what belongs to
Today
Yesterday
Or
Tomorrow

So why do I feel this
Sorrow?

I woke up one of those days
One of those days with no
Birds singing in the trees
One of those days when the
Sun didn't have the strenght
To rise to the sky

On one of those days it got to me
I realize that it would never be
You
And
Me
Again

It's
You
Without
Me

I know I'm stupid
But I miss us
I miss what we used to have
Or at least what I thought we
Used to be

She tried everything

She tried to act like she was fine
She put on make up
She curled her hair the way he liked it
She put on her favorite dress
She wore those black heels
She tried so hard to make her smile look real

She tried everything
For once she felt like she wasn't
The ugliest girl in the world
And he didn't bother to give her anything

Not a word
Not a smile
Not even a single look
He didn't even
Notice her

That was the moment she finally started to realize
She would never be anything
To him again
She would always be
Invisible

Just like he
Promised

To see what's right
You have to find out what's
Wrong

To see the truth
You have to face a million
Lies

To find your voice
You have to embrace the
Silence

To be happy
You have to get through the stream of
Tears

To be loved
You have to love
Yourself

The way you looked at me
You gave me one of those smiles
Your smile always melts my heart
You make me weak
But at the same time you make me strong
You force me to give up
You force me to break down

But thanks to you
I have learned to always
Get up
Because once you have lost something
It wont come back
So why lay down on the ground
When you could
Stand up
Look around
And find that the world is still there
And you are still in it
You made me understand that
So now
I will stand up
And nobody will ever make me fall down again
Thank you
For breaking me down

I'm scared
My life turns into a blur
Everything I hear is remindes me of her
How she is so beautiful
So perfect
So loved

What about me
I would do anything to make you see
What she does to your mind
I know it's not what you want to find
I wish you could leave her behind
The same way as you left me
I know that it could never be us, we or
you and me
You were always in my dreams
In reality it was never meant to be

That's why sleep used to be so important
The only place I could say or do what I felt was in my dreams
Now I'm in way too deep
To ever get back the beauty in sleep

I want to forget
I want to forget about her
I want to forget about you
But mostly I want to forget about myself
That's why I'm scared