I feel the fire in my Eyes
I turn my head away trying to Breathe
Breathe in. Breathe out.
A tear falls down
Once again I lost the battle
A second later I feel your arms around me
You look at me
I turn away
Still feeling the fire burning in my Eyes
''It's ok''
The only two Words that slip out
''It's ok''
The wind is our friend
The water is our enemy
''It's ok''
You don't let go of me
your warmth spreads from your heart to my heart
''It's ok''
That is the only thing I need to hear
That is the only thing you say
''It's ok''
I almost start to Believe it.

Watching the sunset
The way it paints the sky
Orange. Pink. Purple.
Waves crash into the rocks
Creating the most peaceful
Melody my ears has ever heard
A cigarette between my lips
Breathing in
Close my eyes
Let the air out of my lungs
Watch the white bird
Fly across the sky
Leaves me of a feeling of
Complete Freedom

Dreams about having guns
pointed at my face
The fear in my heart and my head
must be reflecting in my eyes
the way someone can pull the trigger
once, just once
to end your life
I've had dreams where I have to run
Run from the people holding guns
tightly in their hands
ready to end my life
ready to end everything
The way their eyes are filled with hate
Filled with panic
Filled with some sort of excitement
they can't wait to hear the explosion
the sound of the bullet flying through the air
ready to hit the target
...me
Guns
Guns
Guns
Silver bullets
Black revolver
Guns
Guns
Guns

I whisper
Please don't **** me

What I write is not poems
It's not fancy words that I can't spell
It's not sentences that will matter

I can't write poems
I write when I have to
I'm not trying to make it perfect
It's just
Me pouring bits of my heart out
It's me sharing my weakness
It's me showing my true feelings

It's not poems
It's me being honest
I write when I'm sad
I write when I'm drunk
I write when I feel the words flow
I write when I'm inspired
I write when I feel no hope
I write when I'm angry
I write but it's not poems

So maybe I'm a waste of space
But I like being here
I like reading what others go through
I like sharing what I go through
Sometimes it's good things
But most of the time it's things
I'm too scared to say but brave enough to write down for people to read

It's not poems
It's just me

Whenever I think I've forgotten you
I get nightmares
It might sound sad
But nightmares makes me think of you
You would make me feel safe
After waking up being so scared
That I wouldn't know what to do
You would comfort me
Always

Whenever I feel like I'm over you
A nightmare visits me
Reminding me of the fact that nothing
In this world will make me forget you
Not completely
So when she shows up in my dreams
The only thing I can think about
Is how I don't dare to move
Or open my eyes
Or breath
I can only think of you
And try to fall back to sleep again

If you keep your eyes half open half closed
Streetlights will look like stars
You will feel like you're in a different universe
The dark sky will make you believe
In magic

Go on a bus late at night
With music in your headphones
And let yourself disappear in the world
Of your own thoughts
And the beauty of the stars

You will feel weightless
You will feel nothing but love
You will feel ok

I would never confess that I cry
I would never confess that I want love
I would never confess that I'm... Nothing

I'm too scared of tears  
I'm too scared of people
I'm too scared of being forgotten

Feeling hot streams of salty water flow down my cheeks
Feeling someone disappearing right infront of me
Feeling empy, alone, scared

I'm too scared of tears so I keep them in
No matter what I would never let anyone see me cry
I would never show myself being weak

I'm too scared of letting someone into my life
They would  leave and I would be left with nothing
I would never let myself give away a part of me

I'm too scared of letting people see the real me
So I fake... I fake happiness, smiles, laughter
I would never let myself be me

Aren't we all just liars?