Spring fever hit me like a ton of bricks today...
I fell into it like it was meant to be, so I'm okay.
I've been dreaming of a humid summer night...
the kind right before the dark takes the light.
I'm waiting on a beautiful grassy scene...
I don't even mind the allergic reaction on my knees.
I'm in the grass, I'm in the breeze--tension released.
I'm a big fan of daydreaming.

shame is the keeper of the keys
decides what can't be decided for me
I have free will, but shame makes it look unreal
just out of reach, hard to please
because shaming is easier
than showing an ounce of vulnerability
but there's something about a dirt road
that gives me the ability
to turn my lens on something that channels it all
into something deeper that shame can't touch
my art is my strength, even if it's a crutch
my vulnerability flows like an open sea
curls your hair with an air that's salty
you can touch me when I'm there
I've got art flowing through me and the ends of my hair
I want to find a way to keep that state of mind
until then I'll keep chasing the high

My dreamland
is never soft or warm
but I find comfort in it still

getting mad about making sacrifices
that no one asked you to make
always keeping track of exactly what you give
and never what you take

headphones hit a little different sometimes
melody striking me right in the ******* spine
I wanna break open every feeling I'm suppressing
tired of keeping my own self guessing
on what's gonna get conjured up next
I'm not saving money, so I won't make bets
I'm spending
so I'd rather take another loss
rewind me, get that dust off me, what's the cost?
I've got light leaks bleeding into my brain
nostalgia like film strips developing in wood stain
I wanna find a new way to dig deep
I wanna find a melancholy that doesn't seep
into the depths of me that end up poisoning
it doesn't belong in my bloodstream
but it enters through my lungs
I breathe it in every time I think
which is constant, and burying
I'm ready to move into a new year
find a new perspective that's a little more clear
get a new grip on reality
that doesn't give me blisters or make me bleed
feel the wind on my face
that doesn't come with a warning
I'm already freezing

you know I'm like the moon
I shine in darkness
so I seek it

Feeling disconnected from my sense of self
struggling with my mental health
the symmetry of the struggle
mirroring itself in all of our faces
all while feeling out of place
not wanting to take up too much space
or waste any more time
because it keeps passing by faster
and my eyes keep fluttering
looking out the window trying to catch a sight
but all I've got are these headlights
tunnel visioning on a destination
that I don't have the directions to
I'd ask, but I don't think I should
hell, I don't even know who would
so I'll keep driving
high beams on empty streets
just waiting for the next exit