I won't lie and say you don't have my attention
but my focus is on my creations
and I'm sorry I don't tell you you're ****
you've got a *** drive as tasty as candy
and I don't even want a lick
I feel like a ******* *****
I want to want you
I want you to want me
then the moment comes
and I'm not thirsty
but I'm flirty
slowly approaching thirty
and I'm wondering where you fit in with me
while probably boring you completely
and you're still here asking questions
maybe you see a fire that I don't feel
maybe you see something real

I've got to ******* shave
focusing on what there is to mentally save
but I'm riding this wave out to sea
tingling waves of humility
sort of unable to see **** clearly
blinking my contacts clean
but not really
dry eyes and yellow lines
you've caught me in your sights
I'm still a little blurry
but you're not in a hurry and I'm busy
busy working and listening to music that hurts me
gotta find a way to be bolder still
less colder, ******* still...
not sure which train to board or what to bring
I just wanna make sense of things
all this eclipse **** and I could care less
looking for something beautiful
and shouldn't that be it?
I want it to be enough
I want it all to be enough
and I know I'm tough
but now I'm boring myself
I'm looking for inspiration and you're not it
I'm looking for an adventure and I'm not listening
maybe I ******* should be

writing because I've got nothing else to do
I get stuck when the **** *****
sticky when the humidity is up
and I just wanna get high
poetry is a confession or a lie
deciphering it isn't worth the try
and I just wanna get high
or meet someone fly
take me on a ride
give me inspiration for a new creation
see sparkles in street lights and wet skin
city slickers finger lickers
late night candy munchers
burnt out babes with a work ethic
show me your soul and stretch it
take it out for a ride with me
down the rainy streets
light green **** up in the shadows
and pass it to me
get high on our energy
and my average ****
until next week
there's a chance of cloudy eyes
and a real ******* high

I didn't know much back then
I think about it now and again
different skin
I want to burn the memories
take you back out
from in
me
and
you never quit screaming
passionately
but
never agressively
...that was all me
and
I know I was so young
I look back and feel ashamed
of infatuating feelings
desperate
for you to want me
to desire me
because when I love
I do it
with too much of me
it's like I keep forgetting

I wonder how you see it
six going on seven
I don't need you to understand
I never did
I was always me
and of course I've got my regrets
I leave them in my memory box
covered in sepia illustrations of butterflies

I'm as trendy as I'll ever be
I'm learning that trying too hard just gets me cranky
and I'm tired of being so ******* angry
caught up in **** that doesn't matter lately
wondering when I'll fall into more crazy
old flames never leave my mind

bustling and hustling
foot cramps and comforting
the rest of them, they've got things to say
they're in pain
I'm straining my brick wall back
bending over backwards and picking up slack
ears and empathy being filled up
problems of people I don't ******* know
in and out, after digested through bile
I'm quiet and smile, I've got nothing to show
but it's dark here in the real
can't trust the new
fresh and crispy and glaring teeth
what's on their mind is on mine too
machine minds puncturing plastic grips and tags
add ribs or structure for fake ******* velvet
all these false prophets and gossips, I need a helmet
rip off the gutter gaurds, it doesn't do ****
we're swimming in the gutter already
feeling that spinal shudder, loving your sin
and I kind of want in
but who has the time for opening
my feelings aren't really functioning
but I feel you
I wanna grab hold of my boldness
I feel like reading me is like hieroglyphics
crytpic and frustrating as **** unless you ******* get it
but that takes time
and a comfort that doesn't exist as mine
I need to reclaim the wonders of my grime
I've got a soreness all over me like a walking bruise
putting out doesn't get misused
unless you're putting in
the ******* work
and sure
you could read it differently
but where this is even going is a mystery too
nothing really here for you to sink your teeth into
I want a life filter like a bruise
dreamy blues and purple hues
feeling like **** fits the vibes
everyone around me seems to have a tribe
and I'm wandering and lost, which is okay, I know it
those in the shadows don't need to be told to find the light
because light exists on at least one side even still
it's about a balance and a will
this **** isn't real