the dark thoughts are creeping in and i know my spirit's equilibrium has been set off slightly, and i'm not entirely sure how to proceed from here. only way is through, of course, as that's the only way out. what more can i bring you the table if that table keeps moving farther away from you?

it comes in waves. i creep into old habits after i taste the nostalgia. chasing down thoughts after triggers doesn't taste as sweet as deju vu does, and i'm finding myself absent from my current reality. i'm stuck spiraling in visions and past versions of myself that i don't recognize as ever holding truth, but they do, and did. i'm simultaneously trying too hard and not trying at all.

i'm not feeling very familiar
i've got an itch on my brain that moves linear
got myself tongue tied in my head
got myself bruising from springs on a foreign bed

got some words
got some thoughts
sounds windy outside in bed
feels windy inside of my head
changing directions
lists of altercations
i'm tired of being inconsistent on the surface
while only ever overcompensating in my brain
everything that seems to be different
still seems the same

my eyes don't bat
with your heels on my back
i keep a straight face
when blades take ribs' place
walk over and on
i've heard a similar song

i am feeling restless and unwell
i am feeling less mess and more similar to hell
hearing the bell isn't making me take a seat
i'm tired of talking out of my *** to everyone i meet
like i have something to say from my lips
most assume it's all just in my hips
but it's in my hands and it's in my heart
it's in my brain and it comes out in my art

if you really knew me that well, you'd be telling people you don't know me very well