Working retail can be quite the catalyst into unintentional eavesdropping. Which, let’s be honest, is often intentional at a certain point. You overhear all sorts of conversations. They change in-between mere moments passing, and the range is staggering. Nothing is off limits. Now, one could argue that I’m invading privacy, but my retort is that I simply can not silence my curiosity. Not to mention, these conversations are willingly being had by their participants in a public area. But, I digress.
This morning, there was an elderly woman in my store with her daughter, out for a shopping trip. I didn’t eavesdrop on everything, I stayed busy amongst my work, and they were walking around visiting for quite some time enjoying their quality time together. On their way towards the exit, the elderly mother tightly grabbed the fabric of a pair of bell bottom jeans covered in wildly colorful print with flowers, mushrooms, and other foliage. Very woodstock, very retro. While holding on to the leg of the bell bottom jeans, she proudly exclaimed her deep love for the fashion of “hippies” and that it speaks to her soul. She paused for a moment, admiring, before letting go. As the fabric was released from her passionate grip, her voice spoke softly “but I can’t wear things like this now. I’m too old.”. Hearing this, I felt a powerful gust of heartache wash over me. I thought to myself, “Why? Why can’t she wear these things now?”.
It’s easy to simply say to myself that I will never be like that, held down and held back from expressing myself authentically with the fabrics and accessories I decorate my body with as I walk through this life. But I deeply mourn for those who don’t feel safe, encouraged, or brave enough, just to be themselves; to follow their interests and wear what they think is beautiful or makes them feel beautiful. My heart hurts for the art and creative expression of so many that are lost to fear, shame, and societal pressures. Unspoken rules of our society, telling them it’s embarrassing to stand out, telling them they’re too old, too fat, too skinny. Pressures that I still fall victim to, that I still work hard every day to deconstruct from my psyche.
Because, the way I see it: self-expression through fashion can be a powerful tool in grounding the mind, and helps you to feel like yourself. Even if it’s just a little bit. Sometimes just getting dressed into an outfit that makes you feel a little more like yourself, even without leaving your own home, can be a bright light in a season of darkness. Having access to the freedom of being able to express ourselves through our clothing and accessories, it is a privilege, and it is also an art. Art brings us closer to ourselves, so how could personal fashion not be an art as well?
Before the elderly mother and her daughter walked out, I gently interjected, making it clear that I heard her comment, and said, “I promise that you absolutely can wear those things and anything you want”. She smiled, let out a sincere laugh, and thanked me.
“Have a good day!”, I say. And I really hope she does.