Screams won't ever do justice
to what i'm left feeling.
No more
nonsense.
pity talks.

Golden ornaments
circling my vision
became a cycle of falling
all over you.

My fingers
can't hold the times
you've dropped me.
****** and bruised.

Envious,
of dying plants
sitting in the corner.
Beautifully decomposing.

what more is there to say?

My eyes won't stay shut.
Overflowing with tears,
and every broken promise.
Haunting shadows.

This is a nightmare.
This is today.

Sitting there
I realized
I will never
Be the reason you wake up
In the morning

I will not
Be your muse

Nor will I
Be the reason why
This is your favorite coffee shop

All because
Your heart was already locked
I spent days, months, years
Trying to find the key
But she beat me
All I want to do
Is take what is rightfully mine
The love that could have been
Should have been
Would have been

If only
She hadn't come around
With her innocent smile
And naive eyes
Glaring
Staring me down
Like a hawk

What did she do to deserve you?
Is she a Goddess?
A Queen?
A Siren who sang to you
And lured you in so deep
You drowned?

My heart
Was stolen in the midst of
All of this chaos
But I know it is safe
Lying deep
Within the darkness

Is it wrong
If all I want
For me is you?

You are the reason I wake up
Every morning
You are my muse
And you make this coffee shop
Feel like home.

What if nothing really exists?
That is the question.
A question that digs deep into the soul

Who created God?
I've always wondered this
How could God exist?
How could one single being
Obtain enough power
To create all of existence?

All of the beliefs
Have very little evidence
I do not fully believe in anything
For I do not agree with non sense.

my body is floating
my lips and tongue(s) tingle
i just need to get to my room  

i could walk up these stairs
forever
but i reach the top

all good things end

Sitting on a rock
In the middle of a little pond
With a girl I met just once before,
I looked at the treetops
(All ash trees;
All ash soon)
And thought about kissing

But the weight
Of all the lips I’d kissed before
Kept my mouth from hers;
Kept ‘her’
From becoming ‘you’

And as the first drops of rain
Began to fall like thunder
And I fled that little swamp,
Leaving the almost ash
Ash trees behind,
I felt a twinge of sadness
Despite my better judgment
And I thought
More about kissing

weekly episodes of panic attacks.
minimal motivation.
what have I become.

what have we become.

I love you.

and all three of those words
create an uneven frame,
hanging you up closest to my heart.

each night
before I leave,
I reread the sweetest combination of words
anyone has written to me,
and I pretend that you love me too.

I've been blinded
by your sweet eyes,
and forgiving embraces.
Knowing,
I'll never let myself  
look away.

Rivers of tears stream down my face
as I wait for a response
of any kind.
because your company kills me,
but I much rather prefer it
than being alone
on these cold
winter nights.