You're a joke
I laugh about every day.
That seems to be the only way
To stop myself from crying
Or setting things on fire.
My friends think they've got the old me back, but she's still recovering from the heart attack.    
Sometimes I pray for a head crash that will knock every beautiful thing you promised out of my nights.  
It never seems to arrive.
I just hope I won't go asking for it some dull hour under severe lights and a dancefloor.
The only comfort seems to be that you are far away in a lonely, bored and unsure state.
I know that you don't think great things of me anymore,
That's why I've finally decided to let you go and forget about the wasted minutes I spent hunched over the *** of my heart ladling too much into your bowl.  
I ought to have known you would get sick of the same taste.

Everyone eventually does in this world.

It rained for three days
before you left.
I had people chatting me up
in bars and cafes
and I rejected them without realising
that I'd need them all
when you were gone
to help fill the void.
2 months on my own
is starting to take its tole;
I miss kissing with a *** in my hand
outside club doors
and running to catch a taxi
so you can take me home.
Now, I'm only smoking
to help me forget
the promises you made
every time you got out of my bed.
I'm making false friends
and pretending I'm cool
without you.                        
But nothing is the same
now that I heard you're with
girls who look nothing like me
and pretending that you're clean.
I'm the only one who could ever
see through you and
that ***** me up somehow,
just knowing there are people
around you
who dont have a clue what
or who you really are.
In my darkest moments I wish you could have stayed
instead of ******* off with art students
who wear costly vintage clothes.
Come round to my door and knock it down with your skinny legs,
I will fall right into your arms screaming:
"never leave, again."
I will pour my heart out,
just for you.
And I wonder if that makes me an angel or a fool?

This one's for you,
my biggest fear.
I don't know how I'm going to
make you love me,
I've never been great
at improvisation.
I'll stand in the rain
for as long as I have to
if you just say
you will accept me.
Things would seem
a whole lot better then.
But I'm certain
nothing could please you
so I'll just have to sink
deep
beneath
the waves of the world,
before I've worn out more than I own.

There are hundreds of people
I pass every day
they all have a name, a life, a place.
I sit amoung them, half asleep
on the 5 to 8 train -
they all seem the same.

So, isn't it a wonder
that he should stumble into my world
out of all those strangers
who come in and out of my timeline each day.

Isn't it fortunate
how so many aspects of him are like me.
I could go on caring for him
when the moon falls from the sky
and no one can sleep anymore
because of the constant daylight.

I will be there for him when the universe
turns its back and he is left
searching for somewhere
he can spill his guts.
I'm that secret place he can go
whenever tragedy occurs.

I went down there
To feel closer to you
Only to be surrounded
By strangers.
Then, I began to notice
I was now one of them
To myself.
So I knock back the *****
In a futile attempt to forget
How much I crave you intensely.

Moved around lifelessly
To familair tunes
With some phony guy
Trying to cut through
My barbed wire.

All I can think of is you,
On this smoke infested
Blindingly-lit dance floor,
Where we once lost control
Endlessly.

There is a connection
That will always remain
Until I am rotting beneath.
I want to scream
Your name out to everyone
I meet,
Tell them I'm bleeding
From head to toe
Without you kissing my soul.