The weather
it's sobbing, but not really.
My heart
it's trembling, really.
Cause I look,
and sometimes I see
but sometimes I don't.
So I wonder as I look her,
Fishnets, mascara and hair 
like silk 
(I must admit to envy).
And I do see
Your hat- hers now, if only momentarily
(I must confess to jealousy)
You make it delicious.
And I ponder and hash and squirm about 
This **** Symbology. 
I hover on knife's edge and ponder this to:
Shall I fall
         jump
         or tightrope?
Maybe I'll astonish and grow wings.
Such marvelosity.
(I'm feeling whimsical- practically bubbly
And yet, still morose).
And so the weather cries
And so, too, my heart.

Can you solve me?

unfold me expose my problems.maybe not. a simple bow slowly becoming a masterpiece of interwoven components. pick up sticks. twister. limbo. on the brink of collapse. One. two. three strikes your out. those are the rules, are you ready? go! drugs. depression. disability.drinking. abuse. blasting any sound to keep out the shouts. deceit. lies. regret. curses spewed out. careful you might trip. Or maybe you already are. like I said a bow, so easy to undo, so simplistic, internally it becomes equivalent to rocket science.  Where's the key to success? the missing puzzle piece? buried in as-seen-on-tv purchases and old moldy mattresses children's toys and croc pots. smothering the pain of a loved one passed. is he dead or alive?who knows. Is she going to make it to 50?unlikely. suicide just in time for a birthday. unfair exchange. continuing pattern. someone has to make up the hoi palloi  no one can or will solve it. you can take that to the bank...just wait a couple weeks.

Welcome to the darkness,
Here, in the pitch black, you must think sanity is reality,
Run faster boys!
This is what life is all about, ain’t it fellas?
Beer, cigarettes, and the gateway keeps my body numb and limited,
I tear my pants and soak my shoes,
Welcome to the beginning,
Finely tuned alcohol mixed with a law-bending chaser,
You start the night sober and end up in the brush of a security-focused forest,
The spark ignites the torch and they’re off,
I sit with no worries and breakable boundaries,
Welcome to the climactic chase scene,
A flash- a knock- a turning door ****-
Run,
We’re back into that **** darkness again,
Weaving through vines and avoiding surprise…I stop.
Feels like a few steps and a highway short of glory,
An adventure away from true freedom,
I sit,
I watch,
I plan,
This is the Spot.