i'm on my own and i'm crazy for you
get the creeps by the way
your body moves

my lungs ache when i breathe
my heart hurts when i speak
so wake up
this is not what we wished for

like when you said
you felt
                so         h a p p y
you could
       die

do i like him or do i like that he likes me?

you have
l o v e
in places
i can't
d
e
s
c
r
i
b
e

i give and i forgive
you get and you forget

at det hele godt kan blive lidt tomt når man er alene i en to værelses og der kører politi forbi ude foran og der er en opvask der stadig ikke har taget sig selv og jeg kan ikke komme ud af døren uden at falde over sko og jeg har blokeret dig på snapchat og har også lyst til at fjerne dig som ven på facebook for du er sguda for fanden en nar men så igen fortjener du også at kunne følge med i hvor godt jeg (forhåbentligt) får det lige snart for selvom jeg har ondt i maven hjertet hovedet over beskeder bestående af kun et ord kunne det også bare være mig der er bange for at skulle forblive alene i en toværelses med blå blink igennem ruden og et fad med nachos der sidder fast og en dobbeltseng der kan rumme meget mere end mig og noget rod jeg ikke har energi til at fjerne ligesom jeg ikke har energi til at lave de afleveringer jeg har for til om en halv time selvom det burde jeg virkelig for jeg har lige fået en skriftlig advarsel fra gymnasiet men hvad nytter det når man ikke engang har energi til at gå i bad eller sætte kommaer eller slukke for hjernen når den tænker at det bedste svar man kan give er slukkede telefoner og halvhjertede beskeder det kan jo for fanden være ligegyldigt men det er det bare ikke

do you like him?
                                             i don't want to
but you do?
                                             i do

without sounding too cliché
i'd like to say
that his eyes told
a story of a night
a long time ago
and his smiled whispered
he wanted to rewrite

it's
you
it's
you
it's
all
for
you
everything
i
do

why
did
you
die
my
friend

og pludselig sidder du pakket ind i +5 dyner og burde egentlig ikke fryse, men der er så fandens koldt over det hele. laver flere liter te for at få det bedre men hælder kop efter kop ud i vasken, for bare lugten giver dig brækfornemmelser. modern family er ikke så sjovt længere og de eneste sange der får lov at spille færdigt er dem han linkede til dig. hans ******* musiksmag ramte plet hver gang. du kan ikke finde ud af om smerten mellem dine ribben er pga den halve flaske tequila du formådede at hælde ned i går eller om det bare skyldes de ord han sagde og hvor let han havde ved at droppe alt det han selv havde været med til at bygge op. du er ikke sikker på om han lagde mærke til dig da du løb gennem byen med en veninde i hånden og prøvede alt hvad du overhovedet kunne for ikke at lade ham se dig græde. du ved bare at lige nu gør det hele ondt og du tør ikke bevæge dig uden for din dør i frygt for at se dem sammen - han har jo tydeligvis ikke noget problem med at vise hende frem foran dig - end ikke på din egen fødselsdag. tillykke. du sidder i stedet i din dobbeltseng hvor jeres kroppe for første gang kolliderede. og du kan ikke slippe for det uanset hvad du gør. stryger tændstikker, for forhelvede, hvor ville det være let bare at lade det hele brænde væk.
du vil bare væk. jeg vil bare så gerne væk.

and now we never ever speak
for all i know he could be dead

have you had love for me, boy?
have you only love for the blue sky?
have you kissed the lips
of one you like
so hard you couldn't stay alive?

i
am
(w)here
(are)
(you)

it was always a skinny love
so fragile and i didn't even notice

now i've got you in my space
i won't let go of you
got you shackled in my embrace
i'm latching on to you

waking up is always best
with your whole body
smelling like selftan
because summer is near
with sand stuck in your sheets
from yesterdays walk on the beach
mascara in the corners of your eyes
because you fell asleep texting that guy
sunlight shining through your door
and flowers when you look outside
open windows to air out the house
berries and greek yoghurt in the fridge
and loads of plans to keep you busy

you're asleep
you're dreaming
about teeth falling out and shadows chasing you
about fields full of flowers and holding his hand
no matter what about, you dream too much
and you wake up and he's still not there
the rain makes your windows look *****
and the wind causes the roof to make noises
and he won't be there to hold you when the sun goes down
so you go back to sleep
and behind your eyelids you see that smile
that smile he used to flash at you
before holding up a glass of white wine
"cheers" spilling from his asymmetric lips
but that's history
and you shouldn't still be dreaming about him
but you were never one to be the boss of your dreams
the heat wakes you up at 5:47
you haven't been this hot since the too of you shared a bed
you need to stop always drawing him into things
he
is not there
he
won't ever be
don't make yourself remember the good times
and how he's everything you ever looked for in a guy
those thoughts belong in late night dreams
and you need to wake up.
wakey wakey, eggs and bakey

i remember sitting on the edge of a wishing well
looking down
seeing all the shiny coins
and i wondered
what the people wished for
and if anyone wondered
what i wished for

i remember starring at the clouds
they looked like feathers and pretty daisies
and i wondered
if anyone was looking
at the same cloud as i
and if they saw the daisies as well

i went to bed early last night
because i needed some time
where you couldn't control my thinking
and the plan would've gone perfectly
if you hadn't made your way
into my dreams

i don't remember your voice anymore
i never hear it
i hear his. on the phone at 1 am
whispering goodnigt to me

i don't remember your hair
i never see it
i see his. i pull it and tuck it
as he kisses me deeply

i don't remember your eyes
i'll never look into them again
instead i'll look into his
deep blue and like a thousand stars

i don't remember your house
i never visit
you moved anyway
so does that even matter

i remember your favourite song
it's mine too
but i try to forget as i recieve a text from him
"ever heard of this artist?"

i don't remember the smell of your perfume
you're so far away
i remember his
it's stuck in my bedding

i don't remember you
you're gone. you've left
he's here. he's right here
so why the hell is this about you