Emily

Emily Jun 2010

Yes everything is half-priced
Twit
Do not make me repeat myself.

You can read, can't you?
Fool
It is on the sign.

Do not hold up something
Idiot
I'm not trying to trick you.

Emily Jun 2010

Foiled Plans

I was going to tell you goodbye-
My plan was to end things
Before they really began.
And my plan would have worked
But for your sweet pacification.

Why do you love me?
Trying so desperately to break your heart
But you cling to me
Like I am your only hope.
I am not your hope.

Emily Jun 2010

Disappointment

Makes my tongue thick
And my throat close
Like my heart is having
A terrible reaction.

Instead of a shot of antihistamines
All I really need
Is a little reassurance
And your kisses.

I do not want to love you
But when you leave
It is like a punch
In my stomach.

So please
Do not leave
Me here
Alone.

Emily Jun 2010

Inadequacies

I do not inspire your passion.
Maybe it is because you don't know
All that you should do.

I do not ignite your flame.
Maybe it is because I am not enough
To make your blood flow.

I do not satisfy.
Maybe I am not trying hard enough
To get you hard enough.

Emily Jun 2010

Vice

The soft glow in the dark
Ash drops into a glass dish
Conversation feels easy
Death feels warm
And slides smoothly into my lungs

Emily Jun 2010

Scream

Screaming is not appropriate in apartments
Running from problems is not appropriate in general
But I would **** to get away from all of this.

I hope it is just monthly hormones
Because if it is not
Things might continue to pile on until I cannot breath.

Slowly I am being lured to the soft blankets-
The comfort that a firm bed provides
Where the tears can flow freely

Beds do not judge you
They do not tell you that you are being dramatic
Because when the Darkness comes so does the drama

And it is not as if I can stop it;
Just tell myself to be happy -
I feel there would be fewer self inflicted deaths, if that were the case.

Soon I will stop talking as much,
Then I will stop smiling
And finally I will not be able to stop crying.

It is a blessing that I have a job
So that in the mornings
Someone might notice my absence if I did not wake up.

*How I wish I would not wake up

Emily Jun 2010

You are the One

I feel sad for your plight.
You love one, but yearn for another.
It will be okay
Whatever your heart decides.
Your steadfastness is beautiful
And your loyalty is inspirational.
For someone who, I find,
Feels she has such low standards and low opinions of herself,
I must confess
I look up to you a great deal.
(Despite the obscene obsession with *****)

P.S.
Though your ability to win at drinking games
Is in short, astounding.