Tears and silence.
Soft kisses and secrets.
"I love you."
Silence.

Heart break and hunger.
Rough finger tips and stubble.
"I love you, too."
Lies.

Such fickle creatures are we
That in the dark night
Wish for things that we cannot have.

Such foolish creatures
That in our heart of hearts
Yearn for things we will never experience.

So fleeting
I am not in love with you
I cannot see myself
Down any road with you
But you are sweet
And you are warm.
I am settling
Your soft skin against mine
And your whispers in the dark.
I cannot break your heart
Even though mine is filled
With unending disappointment.

I see how you look at me
Your eyes are not filled with fiery lust
They are filled with sweet adoration
For this girl
Who is selfish
And bitter.
And every time you kiss my shoulder
To wake me in the morning
My heart breaks for you
Because I am slowly pulling away
Rolling off your pillow
And making my way
Out of your life.

I am so sorry
I wish I could deserve such beauty
And could return it to you.
But I cannot
And though I lay with you
Staring at the whirling fan
I will not lie to you
And return your declarations of love.

I feel as if my shell has been hollowed
And all that remains is the smile
I keep plastered to my face
Like Phantom's mask
I conceal that which I cannot deny.
My heart has swelled
And now it has burst.
I have nothing left to give the world.
Lowered expectations help me none,
I should have none at all.
I should have learned to feel nothing,
To say nothing and to think nothing.
I listen and I hear all these words
And I crave to be a part of their world.
I crave to have a voice, to be heard.
I crave meaning, and to think things of value,
But what use is it when all my words turn to nothing,
When all my thoughts are inadequate.
Your drunken words are beyond my sober thoughts.
Leave me to my solitude and my sleep.
I will wake in the morning and work.
I will come home and smile.
But know it is hollow.
I have found my place - in the shadows.

You shine so brightly
You are unforgettable.
People remember your name.
Your witty words fall from your lips
Enchanting everyone around you.

I bet you have no idea what you do
But I would **** to do what you can.
There is no reason for me to be around
When you are in such rare form.

I envy you.

You won't remember me tomorrow,
And if you do it will be as her roommate.
What a bitter pill to swallow
When you realize that your life has no meaning.
I won't be remembered in the morning,
I won't be missed when I go home
To write words that climb so slowly up my throat
That I may ***** (though that might be *****).
No one will care that I left early.
No one will care if I disappear
Right at this very instant.
I am not beautiful and I never will be.
I am not intelligent and though I strive to be,
I know that is unobtainable.
I am not outgoing
I am not social
I am not interesting
But what I am is sitting in the dark and quiet.
My tears are triple filtered.
Why can't I mean anything to anyone?

I'm sorry that I stole your site
I'm sorry that I'm not a better friend.

I'm trying to do better.